Any of you with drug induced PTSD try EMDR therapy?

[raincat]

I'm having a consultation with an EMDR therapist to try and treat the trauma. I am nervous about it. I don't like to dwell on details of the event too much, and trying to talk about it with a doctor or psychologist is really tough. Sometimes I struggle to get the words "bad trip" out of my mouth and then burst into tears. I am scared of having a flashback. Thanks to lamictal, it's been a good amount of time since I've had one of those, but I fear being forced to face it. I'm so scared. I don't want to face it ever again. I am now crying. I should go distract myself. Anyway, if you've done EMDR for this kinda thing, what was your experience? Was it effective? Thanks.

[James3524]

6 hours ago, raincat said:

I'm having a consultation with an EMDR therapist to try and treat the trauma. I am nervous about it. I don't like to dwell on details of the event too much, and trying to talk about it with a doctor or psychologist is really tough. Sometimes I struggle to get the words "bad trip" out of my mouth and then burst into tears. I am scared of having a flashback. Thanks to lamictal, it's been a good amount of time since I've had one of those, but I fear being forced to face it. I'm so scared. I don't want to face it ever again. I am now crying. I should go distract myself. Anyway, if you've done EMDR for this kinda thing, what was your experience? Was it effective? Thanks.

I've spoken to another HPPDer with bad trip trauma who had great success with EDMR. I agree that you shouldn't dwell too much on your trauma in an uncontrolled environment as it's best done under the supervisor of a therapist/psychologist. 

[AF44]

On 9/14/2024 at 8:08 PM, raincat said:

I'm having a consultation with an EMDR therapist to try and treat the trauma. I am nervous about it. I don't like to dwell on details of the event too much, and trying to talk about it with a doctor or psychologist is really tough. Sometimes I struggle to get the words "bad trip" out of my mouth and then burst into tears. I am scared of having a flashback. Thanks to lamictal, it's been a good amount of time since I've had one of those, but I fear being forced to face it. I'm so scared. I don't want to face it ever again. I am now crying. I should go distract myself. Anyway, if you've done EMDR for this kinda thing, what was your experience? Was it effective? Thanks.

I did EMDR with a therapist who was actually in training (to do EMDR) during the time. I tried it for a different trauma I had in my past, not HPPD. Before we started, she had me fill out a questionnaire to see if I was a good candidate. There was a question, something about “do you experience episodes of dissociation” and I do but I wanted to try the therapy so I checked “no.” Anyway, we started doing it, I had to watch her finger go back and forth and then she told me to picture something to put my trauma in. I think I pictured a blue dumpster. Honestly I can’t remember it all, I guess I must have talked about the trauma…but when we were finished I felt so dissociated it was like I’d smoked a huge joint!! It wasn’t really DP/DR. Just the DP, I felt like I wasn’t in my own body and I felt floaty and out of it. My therapist was really worried and said I had to do something “grounding” so I washed my dishes while she dried them. I still felt weird but told her I would be fine, that she could leave. She got in her car and sat at the curb for quite awhile. I’m sure she was very concerned about me. The feeling lasted for a few more hours then went away. I was like, screw that! But I then had this other therapist quite awhile later that actually specialized in EMDR. I told her what had happened to me and she said it was most likely because the therapist was inexperienced because she was in training for it at the time. So we were going to try it again but the new therapist ended up leaving the clinic to move on to a different one, so I never got to try it. I would be up for trying it, my daughter is doing it and she said it’s great. Idk though because I do dissociate under extreme stress. But everyone is different, so it might work for you!!

I also struggle with the words “bad trip.” The last trip I had before I got HPPD was beyond horrible. I can remember parts of it as clearly as if it had happened yesterday. I don’t like to think about it. Hm. Well, if/when you do the EMDR would you let us (me) know what it was like?

[raincat]

On 9/20/2024 at 1:01 PM, AF44 said:

I did EMDR with a therapist who was actually in training (to do EMDR) during the time. I tried it for a different trauma I had in my past, not HPPD. Before we started, she had me fill out a questionnaire to see if I was a good candidate. There was a question, something about “do you experience episodes of dissociation” and I do but I wanted to try the therapy so I checked “no.” Anyway, we started doing it, I had to watch her finger go back and forth and then she told me to picture something to put my trauma in. I think I pictured a blue dumpster. Honestly I can’t remember it all, I guess I must have talked about the trauma…but when we were finished I felt so dissociated it was like I’d smoked a huge joint!! It wasn’t really DP/DR. Just the DP, I felt like I wasn’t in my own body and I felt floaty and out of it. My therapist was really worried and said I had to do something “grounding” so I washed my dishes while she dried them. I still felt weird but told her I would be fine, that she could leave. She got in her car and sat at the curb for quite awhile. I’m sure she was very concerned about me. The feeling lasted for a few more hours then went away. I was like, screw that! But I then had this other therapist quite awhile later that actually specialized in EMDR. I told her what had happened to me and she said it was most likely because the therapist was inexperienced because she was in training for it at the time. So we were going to try it again but the new therapist ended up leaving the clinic to move on to a different one, so I never got to try it. I would be up for trying it, my daughter is doing it and she said it’s great. Idk though because I do dissociate under extreme stress. But everyone is different, so it might work for you!!

I also struggle with the words “bad trip.” The last trip I had before I got HPPD was beyond horrible. I can remember parts of it as clearly as if it had happened yesterday. I don’t like to think about it. Hm. Well, if/when you do the EMDR would you let us (me) know what it was like?

Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. From what you said I'm taking it that maybe it's not good for dissociative symptoms though? I have had DPDR-like symptoms for a long time, since before I got into any rec drugs. And not only when I am particularly stressed or thinking about certain things, it will happen at random too. I think it's usually there to some extent protecting me from something. I have trouble feeling connected to the world around me. It makes me sad because I want to feel closer to my cats and my friend. The description some use of there being an invisible wall between themselves and reality feels very accurate to me.

[AF44]

On 9/24/2024 at 3:05 AM, raincat said:

Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. From what you said I'm taking it that maybe it's not good for dissociative symptoms though? I have had DPDR-like symptoms for a long time, since before I got into any rec drugs. And not only when I am particularly stressed or thinking about certain things, it will happen at random too. I think it's usually there to some extent protecting me from something. I have trouble feeling connected to the world around me. It makes me sad because I want to feel closer to my cats and my friend. The description some use of there being an invisible wall between themselves and reality feels very accurate to me.

Yeah I’m thinking maybe it might not be good for someone who has episodes of dissociation? I only say that because that was one of the questions on the form. I don’t really know though. I started getting DP/DR episodes when I smoked pot as a teenager. Not all the time but sometimes and I didn’t know what it was, just that I didn’t like it and it freaked me out cuz I would feel that way even when I hadn’t smoked pot. But now (not counting HPPD) I get dissociative episodes when I’m under EXTREME stress or something brings back a memory of a traumatic event in my life. So sorry to hear you have had DP/DR symptoms even before using drugs! I wonder what in the brain causes it. Sucks for sure. Hopefully something (the EMDR, or even a different sort of therapy) will help those symptoms so you feel more connected to the world. I think I have heard of therapy specifically for DP/DR. Maybe you could look up some information on that? 

[raincat]

On 9/25/2024 at 1:32 PM, AF44 said:

Yeah I’m thinking maybe it might not be good for someone who has episodes of dissociation? I only say that because that was one of the questions on the form. I don’t really know though. I started getting DP/DR episodes when I smoked pot as a teenager. Not all the time but sometimes and I didn’t know what it was, just that I didn’t like it and it freaked me out cuz I would feel that way even when I hadn’t smoked pot. But now (not counting HPPD) I get dissociative episodes when I’m under EXTREME stress or something brings back a memory of a traumatic event in my life. So sorry to hear you have had DP/DR symptoms even before using drugs! I wonder what in the brain causes it. Sucks for sure. Hopefully something (the EMDR, or even a different sort of therapy) will help those symptoms so you feel more connected to the world. I think I have heard of therapy specifically for DP/DR. Maybe you could look up some information on that? 

I'll definetly look into therapy for DP/DR, thanks! I would also be interested to know what is going on in the brain when that happens. As for what caused it in me, it could have been childhood trauma. I've been emotionally, verbally, and a bit physically abused by my mother. I've read about that being a cause. And that trauma (along with genes) has given me BPD, which often includes dissociative feelings.