Jay1

I've never done LSA, but i'm pretty sure it works on the 5HT receptors, like LSD, so will pose the same hppd risks. Careful with naturals, they are the strongest of them all... (Salvia, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin etc)... Amanita has a different method (non 5HT) but it can still cause very strong trips... It's what made the vikings crazy! Hopefully your strong CBD weed will allow you to smoke like before, without any problems (I hope the same for me, if I can ever find any!)

It can be restored, it can get worse, it can stay the same. That's pretty much the dictionary definition of non predictable. If you really want to get high, you will want to look down the opiate route, which seems to be about the "safest" for hppd sufferers. Of course, it brings about it's own risks. If you absolutely have to go down the hallucinogen route, maybe look at amanita muscaria. I have had 2-3 experiences on them, post hppd, and it didn't make me worse, in fact it reduced my anxiety for a few weeks. I was micro dosing though. They are a potent GabaA agonist, which is why I decided to role the dice. This is by no means a recommendation though, but chemically, it looks a little safer than doing lsd/shrooms.

Alot of us here had a long, problem free drug history before getting hppd/dpd. The fact that you/we now have problems when we take drugs is the only thing that is relevant. Mental health isn't linear or predictable.

256, until you remove Klonopin from the equation, you will have no idea if those other things are doing anything, or even if you are getting better. Klonopin masks HPPD symptoms, but is simply not a long term solution. I would taper down and see where you are at.

Welcome, yes, please tell us about yourself

That's what makes me very sad though.... I don't know you and will probably never meet you.... But your idea of suicide makes me feel so depressed.... You are a very clever, smart guy and I just wish I could 1) show you how amazing life can be with just a sane a mind .... Even without drugs and 2) the world of hell that the next levels of hppd can bring.. I only say this because I think you can recover and have a beautiful life... Something I am stripped of.

I did insane amounts of drugs before I fell into hell too. My brain, like yours, gave a warning and I ignored it and here I am. Hopefully this break you are giving yourself will allow you to role the dice again without major problems.. I really hope so, as your mind is already made up.

... and then hell. Whatever you think anxiety is now, see how you feel when you have full blown hppd + dp/dr for the rest of your life too. How big a clue do you need that your body/mind is not cut out for hallucinogens than your initial time with hppd and dp/dr? It is hypocritical for me to talk like this, as I also wanted to carry on my drug journey, even with warning signs in my body and mind... But I didn't have the internet, or this forum, or even the term hppd or dp/dr.. I had urban myths and a belief that everything would be fine once I have a few more journeys and then quit... You have the luxury of knowing that is bullshit and things can get a million times worse. There is no insight in the world that could possibly be worth risking your mental health for the rest of your life. I wish I could show people a glimpse into just how bad hppd can be (and i'm sure there are people with hppd far worse than me too, so there are ever deeper levels of hell). At the end of the day, it is your risk and your choice... It's not like I would take any enjoyment from seeing you here for the next 20+ years. All I can say is wait for a few years before even thinking about it... Life can change quickly and you might find that ,even without pyschs, you will be able to tap into that higher state quite easily as you get older.

As Alan Watts said: "Psychedelic experience is only a glimpse of genuine mystical insight, but a glimpse which can be matured and deepened by the various ways of meditation in which drugs are no longer necessary or useful. If you get the message, hang up the phone. For psychedelic drugs are simply instruments, like microscopes, telescopes, and telephones. The biologist does not sit with eye permanently glued to the microscope, he goes away and works on what he has seen..." Even in my messed up state, I still live alot my life based around my LSD experiences... Nature, love, peace, family, friends, spirituality... I don't need to be high to tap into that. As for letting other people ruin your life, that just sounds like an excuse to get high, not a reason. It is SO easy to change your life to include better people and walk away from anyone who is negatively influencing your life. One plane journey or train ride is all it usually takes.

I can't imagine a better high than having a clear, sane mind.. The idea that you could not enjoy life without drugs is about the saddest things i've ever heard. Something I might have thought at 16 years old, but not once I was an adult.

If you see a negative in getting a clear day, rather than a positive, you have the wrong mindset and you are letting hppd get the better of you. Thank god I have a positive mindset to carry on, even knowing I will probably NEVER have a clear day.

Because you took various drugs, including one of the worst of all, mdma. And even after that... you have still been blessed with a clear day and will probably see more of them. How the hell you find a negative out of that is beyond me..... I'd pay every penny in my bank account to spend even one day with my wife and family with a clear head.

I haven't had a "clear head" day for over 20 years, so i'm, struggling to feel for ya. Just go out and enjoy every damn second of these clear days. Those clear head days might start coming more frequently until you have more clear days than hppd days.... then more... and more.. Then bang, you are hppd free. I really think you are letting hppd define you and i'm not sure spending so much time posting is the healthiest thing for you.... Even as moderator, i seem to spend about 1% of the time you do here

Very interesting and in depth. Great to see people carrying on work in the field Edit- When I viewed this on my phone, I could see the full article. Now I only see an abstract.

Brandon..... No one knows what other people's hppd is like... The is why I used the word "probably" The way you are still chasing highs and seem to still get enjoyment from things like caffeine leads me to believe you are not in the same permanent hell as some of us here. I know this is a touchy subject for people though, so will just leave it be

My advice is to not go in there with only Keppra as your end goal.... Just present them with some of the known facts and theories about HPPD and let them make suggestions and give advice. The more specialist advice we can get, as a group, the better. Keppra is not a perfect solution (far from it) so see what they say first. If they start thinking along the lines of SSRIs or Anti Pyschs, then be more vocal and say no and perhaps mention Keppra, Lamictal and/or Sinemet ... But first, just see what they think of it all.

the fact that you can handle caffeine without feeling like jumping off a cliff probably means two things 1) You are at the lower end of the hppd scale, which means your chances of recovering fully from hppd is good. 2) You are at the lower end of the hppd scale, which means your chances of making things MUCH worse is high, if you take more drugs. If caffeine if giving you a buzz, then hopefully you don't need to go looking for things like weed or other drugs to get a high...

sounds like you have what I would call pre-hppd... It's your body's huge warning sign that it is not responding well to drugs. There is a very good chance it will go soon and you will be 100% back to normal, but heed the warning... Next time might take you to the next level of hppd, especially mdma or psychedelics. It's not worth the risk for a night of fun.

Adjust the screen brightness maybe?

Agree with K.B Just keep changing doctors until you find one that is willing to listen and advise properly. It sounds like you are doing eveyrthing right in terms of your routine, add in exercise and healthy eating, if you can. The first 2 years are plain horrible, but I noticed in my 3rd year that the fog started to lift a bit... It was still bad, but I regained a thirst for life again and the depression that had set in went away. I have heard several other people say the same after those first hellish years.

20+ years now, unfortunately. I have eased it by working from home, minimising anything that brings about stress and using klonopin sparingly for the really tough days. Trying to get a good, solid sleep pattern helps too, but that is something that often alludes me. When I'm in an insomnia cycle, the cortisol/adrenaline seems to really ramp up.

You plan to take mushrooms again? Maybe I misread... But that would be about the biggest mistake you could make.

thanks... I am only so passionate about this topic because I don't want to see anyone end up like me. Brandon (from what I can tell) reminds me alot of my young self ,where no matter what the warnings signs were, the temptation to get high was too strong and if I found something like Kratom, I would have abused it and soon gone from small doses to the largest dose I could get.... and probably chased bigger highs that were similar, proper opiates. The other issue is that if something makes you feel good and less anxious, it opens up the possibility of then smoking some weed too, or doing other drugs. when I first found klonopin, the massive release of anxiety led me to some risk taking with drugs, as the klonopin masked the anxiety I would normally get.

It doesn't work like that... Keppra is not a certain cure, it did absolutely nothing for me or about 70% of the people who have tried it on here. I'm at a loss to why you are so focused on getting high rather than trying to do anything you can to recover... Do you not care about your mental health? Do you really want to be like me, still completely fucked after 20 years? Crying yourself to sleep, not being able to make conversation with your wife or parents because you are tripping out? At least I can say I didn't have the internet and no one was trying to warn me that getting high with hppd can fuck you up for life.

Part of anxiety, I would say.