Jay1

It seems each passing week, there are more and more topics and posts about how you can get high and it not affect your hppd... Here is the bad news, you cannot cheat the system... Anything that gets you high has the potential to either make your hppd worse or prolong any recovery efforts. Yes, some things are sometimes tolerated by some hppd sufferers, but that is not a green light for all hppd sufferers to then be able to use that drug. If you got lung cancer from cigarettes, you would not try to smoke a cigar to cheat it... The same rules apply... We are all here because we like drugs, I've done drugs post-hppd too.. It is hard to give up that way of life, especially one that often enhanced our lives... But If you want to get better, you have to forget about drugs.

No, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no!!!!!! MDMA sent me to hell.... My hppd from lsd was bearable, mdma is what turned it into a a 20+ year nightmare. I can't stress enough how much MDMA can worsen hppd. Anyway, if you are cured... Why the hell would you want to play russian roulette again? Enjoy your life, go travelling, go to college, chase some hotties... 8 hours of fun for a potential lifetime of hell... deal or no deal?

I've emailed a few places in UK, mainly about trying to do a TMS trail... No replies yet, but will keep perusing.

Hi, i'm part of the 20+ year club too and seem to have a similar story to you... started with LSD at 14 too, unfortunately added mdma/speed/shrooms/coke into the party mix as I got into my later teens, which made my hppd much worse. Sounds like you are doing everything right though and have a good, positive attitude to it all (the main key to survival, i think). I have tried most every medication going and nothing really works for me as a cure, though clonazepam is a great magic bullet for social events and other anxiety inducing times. Just be very wary of it's addiction potential, if you go down this route. Other notable meds that help some have been keppra, lamictal and sinemet. Supplements that have help some have included 5htp, melatonin, inositol, lion's mane, vitamin B supplements... Search the forum, some people have huge stacks of supplements. All the best and welcome to the forum, Jay

Ha

'Murica kicks ass

We are English and German... It has to be a football (soccer) penalty shootout.

This is what I find frustrating with you... When you explain your posts, you make good points... but you initially wrote it in a way that just sounded like you know best and everyone else is wrong and stupid to consider meds.

Good luck mate, and it is probably a good idea to try and get away from fixating on hppd. Of course, you will be welcome back here any time.

Yes, i was speaking to you, trip. You don't even know why your hppd went away, yet feel fully qualified to lecture people who didn't get so lucky on what they are doing wrong. You didn't need medication, that is great... Others do, please don't belittle them for it.

Shut up

That's probably just your interpretation of what people think.... Remember, most people are too consumed with their own issues to be constantly checking to see what you are up to. Also, if you can't be quiet and moody at 17, you never can... Embrace the fact that people think something is wrong with you or you are a bit crazy! Chicks dig it!

You get used to it.... I could probably win an oscar, I am so good at faking being normal. Keeping eye contact was the hardest thing to re-learn

If you are taking some remedies that might help people, just say what they are.. Even if you are angry at me, or Brandon or whoever... What about the 99% of people who just lurk here, looking for help.

Welcome... I'm sadly also in the 20+ year club. Did you taper back to your normal Paxil level?

I have tried tDCS, didn't really do anything... But TMS works in a different way, so well worth trying. Really interested to hear how you get on. I personally think TMS would be far safer than an SSRI

Lamotrigine = Lamictal Did nothing for me, unfortunately.

Why not make a post about the remedies you were using at the time, quantities etc... are you still taking them?

Anyway.... The problem Brandon laid out is that he cant get meds and doesn't have much cash... So that leaves the following that can help, even if they are not cures: Completely free: Exercise, Meditation Walks in nature Talking stuff through with a friend Distractions (some are free) Staying sober Cheap: Distractions (some are cheap) Healthy eating Supplements (some are cheap... Melatonin is a good one to try)

A good example of that is... Even though I still have hppd after 20 years.... for the first 3 years I also had crippling depression, it just disappeared after 3 years with no trigger... No meds, no change in circumstances... It just went away from 100% crippling, cry myself to sleep darkness to no real depression at all in the space of a few weeks.

Just try and choose your words a bit better and empathise with the person you are addressing... Imagine being 17 and someone telling you your time is running out to fix the problem that is causing so much fear and panic.... That will just add to the fear and panic.. It is not a good phrase to use and isn't based on any factual information in terms of how neurology works, re: "cause your brain chemistry is getting used to the imbalance".... There is simply nothing scientific to back that up. Addressing the issue at it's earliest is good advice and, other than the drug slip up, Brandon seems to be taking pro-active steps whenever possible (telling his parents, trying to get doctor's appointment, researching meds/supplements etc). There is no set timeline with a mental disorder.

If you are strong willed, you can still use Klonopin to help you out... I've done it for years now without any sign of tolerance or addiction (I test myself occasionally by having 7-14 days off). I do the following now: Thursday 6pm - 1mg Klono Friday 9am - 1mg Klono Saturday 9am - 1mg Klono Sunday 9am - 2.5mg Lorazepam This gives me the following... 4 good nights sleep per week, invaluable.... Thursday, I go out with the boys and have 2-3 beers without the usual social anxiety... I get to have some laughs and relax... Friday, Satuday and Sunday I have less anxiety for family time.. Usually go for a few drinks with my wife and friends on a Saturday. The benzos relieve any slight hangover from the 2-3 beers.... Having the shorter half life Lorazepam on the Sunday means my body has over 3 days without any benzo in my body, which seems to be ok for tolerance/addiction. As I said before, I check this every 1-2 months by having a weekend with no benzos, giving my body about 10 days with no benzos. I do have trouble sleeping during these breaks, but no other sign of withdrawal. I also don;t take the Thursday dose if the boys night is cancelled. Everyone is different, so be careful with such a routine... But it helps me live a slightly more normal life.. I just have to tough out monday, tuesday and wednesday... Nothing else works for me, meds, supplements etc

Yea, it is shit. I had to take time out (2 years) before I could go back to university. I felt no shame in doing it though, I needed that time out to regain some confidence and do my best to clear out my mind... If I had stuck around, I think the anxiety would have been too much... I just got a crappy, no pressure job and spent my free time trying to get to grips with my hppd. The other difference is I was living alone when I was 17, so could make my own choices. That's not to say i'm advising you to quit college or move out of home, that's just what helped me. Seriously though, read that e-book... You'll be amazed at how some dietary changes can affect your mood.

What kind of exercise are you doing? You need to go really hard to see the best effects... Push yourself to the limits... That will release endorphins to help your mood. Even better if you are doing team sports, I find.

Maybe try and get nutrients in other ways? Smoothie shakes? Here is a great e-book that shows foods that will help create gaba, which will help your anxiety (if you scroll up, there is a section about Serotonin foods too).... https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=12zG7dUgeIYC&pg=PA129&lpg=PA129&dq=creating+more+gaba&source=web&ots=wwKScCoM36&sig=d_NVmy7kSSocv6Jin3AZhBAIViU&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result#v=onepage&q=creating%20more%20gaba&f=false Alot of this stuff could be used in a smoothie (maybe not the beef liver!)