Jay1

congrats man, glad to hear you are doing well

I will ask my neuro when I go up to discuss the results (no date yet) I have had an MRI since having hppd, but that was for a head injury, so maybe they were not looking for the right specifics. I expect it to come back clear though. btw - your profile pic always makes me laugh

No idea why it is so quiet, I guess it is one of those things where people post less articles, so people make less posts and it just gets quieter and quieter. I've been going through a rough time... Out of work with an injured arm (RSI) and might have to change career... Also a friend killed herself. On a positive note, i have found a neurologist here in the uk who has been great... I have been for an EEG and MRI scan, waiting for results... He has also agreed to my continued use of klonopin on a 3-4 days per week basis.

I've drank alot since hppd.... It makes me feel pretty good at the time, gets rid of my anxiety and makes me have fun again... I feel like my pre-hppd self.... The next day is hell though, massive anxiety. My recomendation is to get a benzo for the hangover. Have a good time on your stag do though.... I don't remember much us mine and woke up in a skip

sure, hit me up on skype

yea... daytime, night time, eyes open, eyes closed. No escape! avoid mdma at all costs....

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/aug/08/visual-snow-debilitating-eye-condition-doesnt-exist?CMP=fb_gu

My whole visual fields is a great swath of blue/green shapes. Dots, streaks, lines....it is my worst symptom and something that got progressively worse with MDMA use. Possibly your recent dabble with the cough medicine does something similar to MDMA, chemically.

It's a good first step. There is no point sitting around worrying about the mistakes you have made, but you HAVE to learn from them and make sure not to keep falling back into the trap. I know what it is like to have an addictive personality, i'm probably one of the most flawed people on this site and still find myself drinking to blackout and/or taking drugs when the addictive personality rears it's head.... no amount of sensible advice can stop you, when you are in the mood... You need to work out the triggers that place you in the situations to be in that mood and avoid them..... For the most part, it is usually certain friends that bring the worst out in you (often through no fault of their own).... Hanging with them puts you back in a place where worrying about drugs was not a thing, so you relax and begin to feel invincible again. It seems this pattern is something you have already spotted and are taking care of... As hard as it is, you have to cut out your drug friends, at least until you have developed the skills and mindset to be able to sit back with them and be able to keep your mind away from temptation.

It's one of the most addictive drugs of all benzos. Considering your lack of self control, I would say this is a dreadful idea. It is a benzo, so should work fine for HPPD and dp, but you are not ready for these meds, imho. Go and read about Xanax addiction and withdrawal.

Personally, i'd say no.... The vast majority have issues with anti pyschs. I can't see anything in it's method of action to suggest this would be any different. It's not worth the risk, imho.

I used to feel like this..... 100% I packed up my bags and travelled. It changed me from someone suicidal, hateful and full of self loathing into someone who was positive, empathetic and driven to do something with my life. Maybe it could help you too? Surely worth a try? I still suffer every day, really quite badly... But now have enough coping mechanisms to get to the next day and even take some enjoyment out of life.

Working out makes me feel better... I get a small increase in visuals while I train and maybe 30 minutes after, but the positives of feeling better far outweigh the negatives. When I was saving up to go travelling, I was working in a factory where I had no stress or responsibility... I didn't have to talk, just put my headphones on and worked (hard!). It was not enjoyable, with hppd, but it didn't make it worse. Having the goal of going travelling made every hour easier to do. Managing stress is the key to it.

btw - while you are in that year 1 / year 2 phase where recovery potential and forming coping mechanisms are at their highest.... Is it possible to just take a year out? Maybe go travelling, or just relax for a year. Maybe just do a bit of completely stress free manual labour for some money. In year 2-3 of my hppd... i just did some factory work for 6 months, then used the money to travel. I think it saved my life.

I've basically had to setup my life around working from home. Thankfully I am skilled in an area where this is possible and I have thrived. It took a few years to get over even being able to make phone/skype calls, but that subsided. I generally echo Year 2's views that getting out there and doing things make those things easier, and in a lot of cases that is right. I lead by example there and really do try alot of things that my anxieties try to keep me away from. But.... Office work is not one that I can do. I have tried at several stages in my life, but the stress and anxiety is just too much to handle. I had to walk out of my last job in an office in London as it was literally like being on a full acid trip. The stress pushed my symptoms to a whole new level. Working from home, for myself... If I have a bad day, I can make up the hours elsewhere.... Avoiding stress is the key factor, for me... But there are no right or wrongs with this subject.

You don't sound very lucky to me.... You might "feel better" at the time, but you clearly have major dp/dr issues, which weed will continue to exasperate with any weed intake.

That's great.... He must be a smart guy, as peer pressure is hard to handle, even with such clear advice. It is also one of the few things that makes my suffering seem less meaningless, if I can help a few people out.

I play the album "Takk" by "Sigur Ros" ... very relaxing and uplifting.

haha yep... my now wife had bouts of depression too, so she is much more understanding.

Ps- I researched buspirone... it seems that, although it doesn't really create tolerance, you can get withdrawal symptoms if you stop taking it without tapering down. So the spike in anxiety might have been from withdrawal rather than just unveiling your normal symptoms. Like I said earlier.... get a real prescription from your own doctor... make sure you take your doses every day (just set up a reminder on your phone). You can take this medicine all your life with almost no side effects or tolerance issues... that's amazing ... 2nd only to being fully cured.

My guess is that the only real cure happens when your brain somehow rewires itself.... for some, it never happens... so using masks and coping techniques is the next best thing. You do not know for sure if buspar is only a mask though... maybe allowing your brain to ignore anxiety and dp-dr (and the stress it brings) is actually very beneficial for your potential to heal naturally.

Isn't buspar non addictive and non tolerance building.... if so, why care if it just a mask? Klonopin is a mask for me... but it is a great mask... literally a life saver. Just make sure you get a proper prescription from your own doctor and keep on top of your doses. There are loads of Medstead that are masks... pain killers,for instance... but they still work.

Hi Sam, glad you are doing well.... Most of the old posters seem to have gone... The site was down for some months and all the old data was lost, i think every just found new places to post (I think there is a thriving hppd group on facebook).

You realise cancer can go away too? HPPD is generally thought of as a neurological condition with some psychological side issues. .... Alot of people here didn't have bad trips, didn't overdose, are very experienced trippers and don't dwell on the condition.... Yet still it continues... Why? Because you can't just think away a neurological condition. Your HPPD healed because your receptors recovered (neurological) and brain over excitation normalised. Now, you can say that is just my opinion... but it is an opinion based around alot of research made by people far more knowledgeable than you or I. I'm still baffled as to why you don't just try an anti-anxiety med like gabapentin... Or even a supplement like Inositol/Choline.

hahaha. ok.... I always forget that you know it all. qEEG seems to strongly suggest that we have made neurological, not psychological, changes to our brains. This would point to HPPD being drug induced, not triggered. But yea, you know best.... You get yourself better and take all the drugs in the world.... It makes SOOOOO much sense