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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
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SKARFON

I am a 19 year-old ex-drug abuser with HPPD: advice/insight wanted

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Yeah it's tough but it may help you in the long run to take a break, your visuals might stay the same if you keep smoking. On the other hand they might stay the same either way. I kept smoking for two years then stopped and it reduced visuals. So for me smoking kept it the same for two years and was helpful with anxiety and connection with others, could be the same for you but since this thing affects everyone so differently theres no way to know. I love electronic music as well (check out noisecontrollers if you're into hardstyle) so it is has been really tough to not trip at shows, super thankful I can roll though.

You have a good attitude and it's good that you can see that there is some influence one's mind has over this disorder, not letting it spin into anxiety is half the battle. Also expectations are key, when I first read about hppd I got all freaked at the idea that this was how I was going to be forever, but as I accepted that I this is how it was going to be and stopped always trying to "check if it's still there" I noticed that the symptoms diminished when smoking or not. I am pretty certain this is something that changes the brain permanently, I don't expect to be cured. But I do have some limits still and I gotta be respectful of the drugs, not fearful but understanding. Can't stress this enough though, be especially careful with GABA agonists, this includes drugs like alcohol, benzodiazpenes, and barbituates. These drugs can be useful for many but, can also be very enticing and addicting as they tend to reduce both anxiety and visuals, combined with feelings of general well being. Almost all my old school friends are alcoholics, and they don't even have hppd. I used to get scripts for benzos and am glad to say I didn't get hooked, but I still used irresponsibly on a couple occasions.

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@IthinkIdosed2much.....I know how you feel, I'm really into the Electronic scene right now too and have been for a couple years now, I'm actually going to a mini fest this weekend. All my friends do/did drugs to but really a break is what it's gonna come to. The sooner you do it, the sooner you'll be able to get back to the scene and started enjoying substances again.

@SpecialK, back in the day when you first quit smoking weed what did it make you feel like??? And it doesn't make you anxious or anything anymore??

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My question is, how does marijuana make HPPD worse when it doesn't affect the same brain receptors as psyhedelics/stimulants?

This is my speculation but I think that weed just makes everything much more intense (taste, music, anxiety etc) so of course it would make the visuals more intense too.

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When I took my first break which was two years post hppd, I didn't experience any changes for 7 months. At 7 months I noticed that visual snow was decreased about 25% trails seemed shorter, starbursts smaller, afterimages faded quicker, but shifters stayed the same. Only after 13 months did I notice a change in the shifting patterns. I had been smoking for a few weeks and wanted to document my symptoms. I stared at objects so I could see the symptoms, white walls for visual snow, streetlights for starbursts,glowstick for trails, computer screen for afterimages, and stucco walls for shifters. At baseline all of my symptoms were the same as they were at 7 months except for shifters. I stared at the walls, wood grains, and various textures for the next few weeks and could not see the shifting patterns. Even when stoned I didn't see them, although everything else was increased. At some point between month 7 and 13 the shifters stopped without me noticing.

I didnt feel anxious about having to stop, it was for unrelated reasons, I had no choice. I was reassessing my lifestyle and values at the time doing a lot of soul searching, so I was a little depressed and sometimes anxious as I worked though these issues. I kept active, stayed disciplined and got though it. When I started smoking again I didn't expect an increase or decrease in symptoms, I have never had any really bad cannabis experiences.The only thing I ever get is some very mild paranoia or anxiety, silly stuff really like thinking I left something and having to stop and check, or when I'm driving that the car behind me is a cop. While herb has always been an elightening and therapeutic plant for me, I am thankful that I took a break and got some of my vision back.

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special K> what astounds me is the fact that you are able to continue MDMA use, I don't think I will ever touch the stuff again, I want to say that my HPPD symptoms are 100% due to MDMA and research chemicals...LSD or shrooms never seemed to do me any wrong.

I haven't been to any music events since my serotonin syndrome 4 months ago, though I am booked to DJ at two raves in June. DJing is like therapy to me, it allows me to party and enjoy music without wanting the drugs...music is my drug now :) you mentioned noisecontrollers, I think they are the ONLY hardstyle I can stand along with headhunterz, otherwise I don't like hardstyle/hardcore/trance/etc (I'm a drum&bass/dubstep/electro guy)

as for quitting weed...I may quit during this summer, but honestly I don't want to quit for an entire year...I could definitely see myself wanting to in the future perhaps, but as for now, I already took a 3-month break last year and a 1 month break this year, enough! It is true that too much weed can make me trip out (especially strong sativas), and I have only been smoking in the evenings (smoking all day can make me feel depressed and inactive). I got some grand daddy purp right now, it's pure indica and puts me on a reaaally nice level, I sleep like a baby too. I avoid hard liquor but I ain't givin' up beers or my morning coffee, because HPPD can kiss my ass! Seriously, HPPD can go suck a million fucks if it thinks it can take away my little pleasures in life.

better yet, I have cut out almost all non-healthy and non-organic food from my diet this past week; started working out again and have been getting shit done i.e. cleaning my appartment, finishing things I've been procrastinating, etc...and guess what? HPPD is now bearable! I think if everybody got off their computers and quit reading about HPPD symptoms over and over again all day, we'd all see improvement :)

if any can suggest some healthy foods that are really good for brain development/healing that'd be great, I've been incorporating a lot of greens, fruits and nuts/whole wheat/grain into my diet, as well as replacing red meat with turkey/chicken...am I missing anything? eating right makes me feel goood :3

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I agree. Mxe 2cb and mdma are what fucked me. I too am a drum n bass head. Its hard goin to raves without bein off my tits on stella and mdma but I guess we need to adapt. It amases me people can get hppd and still take drugs happily. I have no desire to even take em

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I astound myself sometimes! :D Seriously though the brain is ever changing and evolving wonder of humanity. Damn! I wrote more but I accidentally closed the page and lost it, I 'll have to comment later tonight

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Glad to hear you're not letting hppd get in the way of you enjoying your passion. I'm into all kinds of electronica, been getting into a lot dubstep over the past few years and more recently techstep. Hardstyle and epic trance, and psytrance are my favorite genres right now though. I want to drive out and see showtek sometime this year. As for the herb it's good that you took some breaks already. I like to smoke the same way, wake and bakes make me feel tired and lazy. It doesn't sound like the herb is causing you too much trouble. I don't think you have to take a break for a whole year, that's just what happened in my case. Eating healthy is a way good to I know that broccoli has vitamin k which is good for brain function. Also fish with omega-3 and 6 fatty acids are good for the brain and heart. Staying active is good I prefer cardio like biking, it also works the brain as you are negotiating obstacles and traffic in 3D space. I also love that when I'm riding I can always change up the route so it stays fresh. I agree it's not constructive to focus on hppd all day, it's nice to have a website to stay in touch with others, just don't sit there and relive the trauma all day.

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Took the words right out of my mouth! I have FINALLY accepted my visuals! They don't get me down anymore, it feels great. I feel ready to get my life back on track. Today I'm hungover and the weather is shit so I am feeling kinda down but it's not really HPPD related anymore...I truly believe in mind over matter. People need to spend less time on this forum and more time changing their lives....

I have a coworker whose visual HPPD symptoms haven't gone away in +10 years of soberness and he's doing just fine; everyone gets over it eventually it seems :)

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That's great man! I'm glad to hear it, never doubt the effects of a positive mental attitude, it's one of the greatest assets we have when fighting disease.

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