Starting Lamictal

[Jes34]

Hello everyone!

Im new here!

Sorry if my English is a bit hard but I come from Sweden and I will try to do my best for you to understand.

 

I took about 8 years ago an LSD that I thought it was but found out later that it was (RC) I experienced a traumatic trip and it was hell as I sat in bed and just shook and was even left by my friends before that and my mom had to pick me up. I did not experience the trip itself but I only experienced anxiety and panic, I felt after a few days that it felt strange but thought nothing more about it and it moved on the walls and under my feet but also I saw faces in cars for 1 year after but I ignored it and it disappeared and after these days and months everything floated on I started studying and lived my life again, so I stopped all drugs. I then started with Mirtazapine + Fluoxetine and I could not combine them without getting DPDR and I only took Mirtazapine and it worked for a while but then I wanted to try something else .. I then started on SSRI (Sertraline) and I lived my life completely I got married, had children and got houses. Now 8 years (2012) after I lay one night and held my wife when we watched movies everything was very good, then I start thinking about this evening and it was like a shock in the brain everything started to move it was like that it was a lack of oxygen as an electric shock and I panicked, I started to think what is this .. it calmed down after a while and I thought it was Sertraline and I then stopped using these .. then found out after that was a flashback. The next day I notice that it is still there and things are still moving on the walls I think I have experienced it before and I can get rid of it again after this I started to see faces in things again (paintings etc.) then I started to experience that I live on the 7th floor but it feels like I live on the 3rd floor it feels so close to me and everything with distance. I also got to experience a dreamy way as if I live in another world and over time everything has become foreign and strange to me even my own home, I also experience purple color when I close my eyes sometimes and my visual snow that I have had for 8 years has gotten worse (afterimages etc) now I have also noticed that the trees look so fluffy and that it is so green to me. It's autumn now and it feels like the leaves are really yellow, everything is just fucktup .. been told that it's more DPDR? I feel like im bigger and everyone of my family too..  I feel really bad and have severe anxiety and my daughter came into the world 4 weeks ago, my son is 4 years old my wife wants me back I hear every day and I try to fight everyday but not fight it my wife are understanding and are there with me all time .. because before March I was myself and I do not sometimes know what to do because I am so afraid to leave them but there is nothing I would ever do. I know everything will get better but is it so that Hppd can come after 8 years? I think it's weird .. I also got Lamictal prescribed by my psychiatrist and he wants me to test it. Am a little fussy about it just getting worse but it can also get better as I really want to do it .. any experience? Sorry for this long story and I hope you are well because you really are not a warrior until you have been through this misery!

 

Jes

Edited October 27, 2020 by Jes34

[brake]

I've had HPPD and visual snow for over 10 years and I'm finally trying lamictal. So far it has not affected my visuals at all but I feel better. At least you have a house, wife and kids. I think I'm going to be single forever.

[brake]

I took lamictal for a week and I already noticed a difference in all of my symptoms besides visual snow. My visual snow is pretty bad. Like when I was in a very cold northern climate the visual snow would make me semi blind in dark places at night. I feel like I want to live again. I was just waiting to die lol and the current dating market is terrible and a joke nowadays.

[AF44]

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. But so glad to have you in this forum!! HPPD can cause micropsia/macropsia, so if you have micropsia that might explain why everything looks smaller or more confining to you, and macropsia is what makes you “feel big” (If I’m correctly interpreting what you are describing.) I have heard HPPD can make colors appear much brighter and more vivid than normal (I have not experienced this myself, or maybe a few times and I didn’t connect it with my HPPD) Seeing geometric patterns and facial patterns is also a symptom. DP/DR is a symptom (which to me is the worst one! Ugh!) Swaying objects are common. But anyway, it sounds like you literally have every crappy, horrible symptom HPPD has to offer!! I know this probably won’t help to hear it, it’s so cliche, but I believe your symptoms will lessen as time goes on. Anxiety makes it worse, a vicious cycle, HPPD causes anxiety, anxiety worsens HPPD symptoms. I have seen a lot of people who live in Sweden on this forum, and heard different things about healthcare there. I have taken Klonopin for about 14 or so years now, and it took away at least 98% of my symptoms. Maybe you could try that? What I would do is print out pertinent, science-based information, organize it, and take it to your doctor. Try to clearly explain your symptoms if you can. Show them/let them know that Klonopin is the gold standard treatment for HPPD. If a doctor won’t listen, move onto the next. And the next. Advocate for yourself. You are not alone!!! We are here for you and so glad you found this forum!

[brake]

I have some double vision and blurry vision from the Lamictal. This sucks because it works well for my depression and anxiety.

[Hall89]

On 8/21/2023 at 5:12 PM, AF44 said:

I have taken Klonopin for about 14 or so years now, and it took away at least 98% of my symptoms. Maybe you could try that? What I would do is print out pertinent, science-based information, organize it, and take it to your doctor. Try to clearly explain your symptoms if you can. Show them/let them know that Klonopin is the gold standard treatment for HPPD.

You're real lucky that you've been able to treat it long term with it! Very few can, because of how fast most people builds up a tolerance to benzos and have to constantly increase the dosage for a maintained effect, which eventually ends up in extreme suffering. So it really should be the last resort. Imo people should try Keppra, Lamotrigine, Valporat etc first.

[Hall89]

20 hours ago, brake said:

I have some double vision and blurry vision from the Lamictal. This sucks because it works well for my depression and anxiety.

I've been on Clonazepam for 4 months now and i got this as a side effect from it. I already had it prior to it, since it's two of my many visual disturbances that i got with my HPPD, but Clonazepam increased my ghosting by ~50% and also caused diplopia. It has slightly improved the other visuals though, but no more than what Lamotrigine did for me, which i sadly built a tolerance to after two years.

The first 4-5 weeks on 1.5 mg Clonazepam was awesome though, hadn't felt that good since getting HPPD and my visuals improved with 20-30% and kept the non-visual symptoms away as well, but then the good old tolerance came knocking at the door and i've had to increase it twice since (at 2.25 mg now), but the vision is no better than what it was on Lamotrigine now,which is a 5-10% improvement, but even though my vision is crap, i primarily medicate to keep the non-visual symptoms away (dpdr, decreased cognition, dyslexia, foggy mind, anxiety etc), which are the most debilitating ones with this disorder, and for that, it still does the job with the new dosages. Will soon try Keppra though, and with some lucl that will be my savior and i can slowly get of Clonazepam, which most likely will be hell.

Edited September 13, 2023 by Hall89