I got HPPD from blacking out on alcohol.

[Davieb123]

Hey guys I have been meaning to join this forum for a while. 

I guess my story is somewhat different in the way I developed HPPD as I’ve never taken LSD or shrooms for that matter but ofc there’s different ways in getting it which I’ve now learned through this site. 

I grew up in Scotland and took drugs at a really early age. After smoking weed I then developed pretty bad social anxiety especially in crowded places but it was manageable. I continued taking drugs most weekends mostly cocaine and occasionally ecstasy with no problems. I did this from about the age of 14 to 23 then decided to get my act together and grow up as some my friends were ending up in bad places and the comedowns weren’t worth it. I then met my current girlfriend and moved abroad with her and got a decent job. Things were going well but from my previous drug use I had social anxiety and required a lot of social interaction in my new job. I decided to have a talk with the doctor a was prescribed propranolol which was great for stopping panic attacks and really helped me out a lot in the start. After taking propranolol for about two years I started feeling really weird towards the end of the second year, for instance my eyes would go out of focus and I would just feel lethargic as hell, alsmost the way I feel now on days my hppd is bad. 

 

Last year i then decided to leave my job as the social interation was making me feel personally worse in life and I got into the habit that the only way in me making it through the day was taking propranolol which I wanted to stop doing due to the side effects. I then moved back to Scotland and the first thing to do was to catch up with friends and go out for a drink. I ended up drinking way too much as I have done in the past and blacked out pretty bad. The next day I woke up I got a screaming migraine like nothing I’ve ever had before and when it subsided that’s where I felt off. 

The first symptoms I noticed was my eyes kept going out of focus and I had terrible brain fog. Then fatigue started creeping in and I noticed I was having panic attacks anywhere I went. I genuinely thought something was medically wrong with me and refused to believe it was anxiety related. A good few trips and tests from the doctor and ofc everything was in working order but in my head I believed the doctors were wrong. It was probably about 6 months later that I started noticing the visual snow symtoms. Then a couple of months later I noticed mild after images in dark light and yellow blotches occasionally appearing in my vison then I finally made the connection online that I have HPPD. 

 

Its now been about 14 months since my initial onset and things haven’t really got that much better. The worst symtoms for myself are the mental fatigue and my eyes going out of focus and of course anxiety. Thankfully afterimages aren’t too bad but they are there, especially in dark areas. 

Anyway for now I have prescribed and SSRI called sertaline. I’ve read this making many people symptoms worse but so far I’m just getting to the end of my second week and feel no worse or better. 

I truly believe the stress and anxiety and use of propranolol from my previous job is what made me get to this point but who knows as I never had problems with blacking our in alcohol in the past. 

Anyway hope your all well, and happy to talk with others. 

Edited October 9, 2020 by Davieb123

[Onemorestep]

I aggravated my own hppd temporarily pretty bad one time by staying up for 48 hours and then drinking 8 beers in about 2... it’s definitely possible. 
 

the timeline for these things is always of extreme interest to me. Especially when symptoms occur weeks or months after the self reported intake of a chemical. 

[MadDoc]

Your life sounds similar to mine in some ways.  I took LSD about a month before my 14th birthday.  By the time I was 20, after years of gobbling down psychedelics, I decided it was time to give it up.  I dealt with terrible anxiety so I self medicated with alcohol.  I felt like I had alcohol under control.  Got through college, got married, had kids, started a career, and all that good shit.  However, for me, alcohol became more and more of a problem.  One day I decided I'd had enough and I quit.  However, the anxiety was waiting for me once I sobered up.  Fortunately I found a doctor who helped me with a drug free approach to living inside my head.  

I realize this post is all about me.  I'm hoping some of the parallels might be helpful.

Take care, and hang in there.