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What caused HPPD for you in your opinion?


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Hi everyone!

First, I would like to share my experience which scared me so much, that I decided to quit doing psychedelics forever. I am somewhat of a rookie when it comes to psychedelics. I did psilocybin 2 times, LSD 3 times, MDMA about 8 times and DMT aboout 5-6 times in the past 4 years. Currently I am 22 years old and studying at a university.

About a week ago I decided to take some LSD for the 3rd time. I took half a tab. The trip wasn't as pleasant as before, but it was not bad either. Apart from the usual visual distortions and hallucinations I also experienced visual snow and tracing. I saw flickering lights when I was walking on the streets at night and I saw red and blue lights reflecting on surfaces and I had to look back to make sure it is not police, but the streets were empty. Later, when I came home (12 hours after the effects started) I had no visual anymore and went to bed. I was laying there watching something on my laptop and I see in my peripheral vision, light flickering. I look there, it goes away, but after 3-4 seconds it comes back. I get scared start to read about it on internet and that was the time when I discovered HPPD. Then I got really scared that I ruined my brain/mind/receptors permanently, with some silly thing. My parents would never understand something like this. I felt alone with this disorder, which makes life a living hell. When I closed my eyes and tried to sleep after 3-4 seconds these flickering started again and it was bothering me so much that I couldn't close my eyes. I don't believe in god, but I started to pray to him and after 3 hours I could fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and I see normally. The flickering with closed eyes remained for another hour after waking up, but now it is all gone. 

The next following days, I started to research this topic, because it is crazy that not many people has awareness of this phenomenon. I have a lot of friends messing around with psychedelics and they have never even heard about it! Honestly, I didn't know there is any risk involved dealing with psychedelics other than you can lose your mind and you can get schizophrenia. 

Thank you for reading my story. I am really curious about the reason that can cause this disorder. In your opinion what caused your HPPD in your case? A bad trip? Combining drugs? Using psychedelics excessively? When I thought I crippled myself for life, the feeling was devastating. I feel great empathy for all of you who are going through this. 

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Weed, LSD, Shrooms gave me mild HPPD.... Adding MDMA and speed made it very severe.  No bad trips, but i would often binge... eg, acid on a friday, then MDMA on saturday, then really drunk on sunday, with lots of weed... 

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btw - what you experienced was a HUGE warning sign from your brain. Further drug taking could result in something that doesn't go away quite so easily (or ever). 

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Main trigger for me was LSD.. though at the time was doing a lot of Clubbing / Raves.. so likely MDMA was in the mix too. 

I have been naughty and done some other drugs post HPPD. Stupid choices when inhibitions were out the window.. though most defiantly will not touch any other substances now, and have maintained sobriety for many years.

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