VS and DP what can help

[Nic]

Hello. I'm kind of new here, first time posting.

I'm struggling with visual snow  (i think it is, because I see little floating dots when looking up the sky that looks kind of like, i don't know, sperm?and I note everything is a bit of pink, especially in the dark. Sometimes i can't tell if something is totally white or white with a little bit of pink). This is happening for about 6-7 months now, after a bad trip with LSD, which I used before like 20/25 times in the period of 1,5/2 years (but with little dosage, like 1/4 ou 1/2). In that period I also used MDMA and a hell lot of weed. The last time I used LSD was 6-7 months ago, MDMA I used once like 2 months ago and about a week ago I stoped to smoke weed, because I finally accepted what it was going on, and things have improve a little because before when I was under the effect of marijuana I would see everything very colorful or slight moving when looking at walls or other big surfaces.

I could not notice all of this to be so strong at first, or maybe I just could not accepted, but I always knew something was going on. I don't know if it got strongger or simply I started to really pay attencion and note it.

I also feel disconnect to my body, and i saw that this two are the most common symptoms for people with hppd.

I can't stop crying and having suicidal thoughts, and I'm very afraid of starting a medicine that will make my visuals worse, because I king have a feeling that when I see once, i can't un-see it somethings? i don't know. But also, I can not think about doing nothing because it gives me like a panic attack or something.

Any ways, I don't speak english very well (you probably noticed), and in my country nobody really seems to care about this kind of stuff (treatment for hppd). So I'm consulting with a psychiatrist this week and I would like some help with information about some medicine that have low risk of worsed visuals (that is my worse fear), but has a chance to improve the visuals and the DP.

I'm kind afraid of taking Lamotrigine or Keppra because a lot of people have seem to have more visuals with time? I also saw that Naltrexone seems to help some people, but this one guy said the visuals got worse as the medicine "goes away" within a few hours. Clonazepam is very commom, but I don't know if can help with the visual or only with the despersonalization. Someone post about imitrex being good with this. What can you guys tell me?

I think, based on what I have read here, that my symptoms are milder, but they still are torturing me, and I don't know what to do. I'm very afraid of never get better and I'm done with all kinds of illegal drugs. I don't have anyone I can really trust with all of this, so I seeking for information and help from you guys... Thanks a lot for anyone that can help.

 

N.