My story

[LaersZ]

Hi everyone,

I was doubting a lot about going on a forum about hppd, but I don't have a lot of people to talk about my symptoms because nobody really understands me. 

I am currently 19 years old, I first started experimenting with weed when I was about 14, I just occasionaly smoked weed back then though (like just a couple times a year). When I became 18 I started smoking weed more frequently. This was also the time that I started experimenting with MDMA at parties, since then I have used MDMA 4 times. About 3 months ago I started experiencing starbursts around lights in the dark, accompanied by halo's. I was freaking out about this and I immediately went online to find out what was happening to me. I then read about visual snow, since that moment I also have been experiencing visual snow. I eventually found information about hppd, and that it was frequently caused by drugs such as LSD and XTC, because I had used xtc prior to this I became really anxious about it. 

I first went to a physician, he didn't know what it could be (i also told him about my past drug use). So I was sent to an eye doctor...nothing wrong with my eyes. I now have an appointment with a neurologist. 

My symptoms are mild though, and it started 3 months after my last xtc trip. (I still smoke weed though). They include: mild visual snow, mild afterimages, rainbow-like haloes around lights (primarily in the dark), starbursts, mouches voulantes when I'm outside and the sun is shining (I didn't experience this before), when the sun shines on white objects it is really intense and it gives me afterimages.

Do you guys think I have hppd? And will this ever go away? Please help..

[und3rlif3]

Your are very young and you will be fine man, just dont overthink about it too much, it sounds to me like you are exacerbating your symptoms with the anxiety, tahts very common, i think you may have a mild case of HPPD so, stop drug use for a while, do excercise and drink watter, have healthy food and you will have a great chance that it fades away completely, just focus on other things, and dont think too much about the visuals, acept it is like reality is going to look like for a while, i know it feels strange and mmaybe creepy but it will pass away if you take a break from substances and stimulants, remember not to think thing like "im gonna be like this forever, ohh gosh" just keep cool and you will be fine bro, if you are lucky you will be able to smoke pot ocasionally again and youll recover to your normal life again, i hope for you the best, and i wish you recover completely that im sure you will, and if you accept an advice just stop the psychedelics, remeber if you pick up the message hang the phone! Hope !!!     

[LaersZ]

Thanks man! That actually helped a lot.. 

One question though, what about stuff like coffee and cigarettes, do i have to quit those too? Because they are actual drugs. 

[MadDoc]

I'm not qualified to determine if you have hppd.  Some of your symptoms do sound "hppd like", but they sound mild.  I'm sure they don't seem mild to you, and I'm not trying to downplay your symptoms.

The advice most people will give you is "stay clean".  Trust me, hppd can be truly debilitating.  If you stay clean and give it some time your symptoms will probably improve.  If you keep using chemicals MDMA, you're tempting fate.

Hang in there.

[und3rlif3]

4 hours ago, LaersZ said:

Thanks man! That actually helped a lot.. 

One question though, what about stuff like coffee and cigarettes, do i have to quit those too? Because they are actual drugs. 

Its better if you quit stimulants for a while like caffeine or nocitine, i smoke a cig some afternoons and doent seems to afect it too much but, hey, everybody its diferent bro, and this disorder its really unpredictable, better if you stay clean for a reasonable time, your body will thank you! peace!

[LaersZ]

8 hours ago, MadDoc said:

I'm not qualified to determine if you have hppd.  Some of your symptoms do sound "hppd like", but they sound mild.  I'm sure they don't seem mild to you, and I'm not trying to downplay your symptoms.

The advice most people will give you is "stay clean".  Trust me, hppd can be truly debilitating.  If you stay clean and give it some time your symptoms will probably improve.  If you keep using chemicals MDMA, you're tempting fate.

Hang in there.

Thanks for your response! I already quit MDMA 6 months ago, and now I will quit using pot as well. I don't want to make things worse as you have stated.

 

[LaersZ]

8 hours ago, und3rlif3 said:

Its better if you quit stimulants for a while like caffeine or nocitine, i smoke a cig some afternoons and doent seems to afect it too much but, hey, everybody its diferent bro, and this disorder its really unpredictable, better if you stay clean for a reasonable time, your body will thank you! peace!

Well caffeine and nicotine don't seem to make it worse for me, alcohol and pot do make my symptoms worse when I am under the influence of them, but yhe day after it returns to baseline. 

[und3rlif3]

4 hours ago, LaersZ said:

Well caffeine and nicotine don't seem to make it worse for me, alcohol and pot do make my symptoms worse when I am under the influence of them, but yhe day after it returns to baseline. 

when i drink a beer it gets worse at takes a lot to go back to base line :C

[MadDoc]

I drink my daily cup of tea, and it doesn't make my visuals worse.  I quit smoking 30 years ago and haven't touched nicotine since.  The last thing I need in my life is to be controlled by an addiction.  

[LaersZ]

10 minutes ago, MadDoc said:

I drink my daily cup of tea, and it doesn't make my visuals worse.  I quit smoking 30 years ago and haven't touched nicotine since.  The last thing I need in my life is to be controlled by an addiction.  

That's better man, I have a hard time quitting cigarettes. I can stay off alcohol and pot but staying off nicotine is hard for me..

[LaersZ]

2 hours ago, und3rlif3 said:

when i drink a beer it gets worse at takes a lot to go back to base line :C

That's sad bro.. hope you recover soon so you can enjoy a beer once again without this shit.