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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
MattyHouseMouse

Hppd is not real. It is extreme health anxiety relating to your vision.

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10 hours ago, MattyHouseMouse said:

I came on here trying to help and wasn't expecting this kind of reception if I'm honest. The flakiness of your convictions is plain to see. We have @AlphaBeta who's vision is different when his eyes are watering and can see light refraction when he looks straight at a light source, and denies their own posting history. Also @Kalo who  appears to have taken some psychedelics then seen hppd less than a week later... and made no connection between the two.... can you not see that to an outsider to your community how suspect all this seems? You all seem to be determined that you have a serious visual health issue and appear blissfully unaware of the power of the subconscious mind. Now if my theory WAS right, it would be pretty cool wouldn't it? Bit of cognitive behavioral therapy and it would be bye bye hppd...

This forum is clearly no place for this kind of discussion,  I think I will take this to the scientists,  dr Abraham et al.

Thanks.

Matty.0

I was extremely ignorant to the possible side effects and long-term damage that could be obtained from the drug I took, especially the small dosage. I was carefree and inexperienced, being a huge noobie with drugs and looking for some sort of relief. Again, I don't care if you do not believe me but I know it's the truth and that's more than enough for me. 

You can't just go into a disorder forum and declare the disorder isn't real,  expecting 0 argumentative responses. Maybe if you approached this with a better tone, you could've explained your theory without disregarding HPPD in its entirety. 

Edited by Kalo
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On 1/29/2020 at 2:10 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

All 'symptoms' of hppd are experienced by people without hppd or have never taken psychedelic drugs.

This is true of most diseases and disorders.  Why don't you (and other members) let the doctors do the diagnosing - they are the ones who defined the disorder.

 

On 1/29/2020 at 2:10 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

All people whose posts I read in hppd forums either exhibit classic signs of severe anxiety, or have found relief via treatment methods and drugs that mirror those used to treat anxiety.

Read more posts.  Some have no anxiety.  Some are actually glad to have the visual anomalies.

 

On 1/29/2020 at 2:10 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

Native American indians who take peyote NEVER get hppd. Why? Because it is normal and acceptable in their culture and they feel no anxiety about the use of the drug.

 I personally know one on the DPSelfHelp forum.  You think you know all Native Americans?

 

On 1/29/2020 at 2:10 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

How do I know this? Because I have taken lots of psychedelic drugs

So your personal experience make you knowledgeable about everyone's personal experience?   n=1 is a very small sample for statistics

 

On 1/30/2020 at 3:47 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

No 'hppd' in my corner, sorry. When I say I once thought I had 'hppd' I mean it was for like 10 mins after reading about 'hppd' on line and was trying to test to see if I had it.

Clearly you are very impressionable.  Perhaps you have learned to turn on or off HPPD at will.  Patent that, you'll make millions and put the cartels out of business.  

Again, leave the diagnosing to the doctors

 

16 hours ago, MattyHouseMouse said:

I came on here trying to help and wasn't expecting this kind of reception if I'm honest. .... Now if my theory WAS right, it would be pretty cool wouldn't it?

It would be 'cool' if a little CBT would solve the problem.  Read the posts.  Plenty have tried CBT and other psychological techniques.

You seem to be focused on your perceived reality.  You need to respect other peoples experiences and not just your own.

 

16 hours ago, MattyHouseMouse said:

wasn't expecting this kind of reception if I'm honest ... This forum is clearly no place for this kind of discussion

Nothing wrong with discussion anxiety and it's effects, etc.  It is your manor of 'discussion' that provokes negative responses

 

16 hours ago, MattyHouseMouse said:

I think I will take this to the scientists,  dr Abraham et al

Please do.  Dr A has published many papers regarding the long term aftereffects of LSD, etc.  And these do not declare anxiety being the root of the problem.

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On 2/2/2020 at 11:21 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

denies their own posting history.

Sorry, I didn't recognize my own posts, because you put my these sentences completely out of context and interpreted these sentences like I said that this would be "symptoms" by me. I never said that. In these statements, I'm responding to questions of user Denairix who asks if other people have watering eyes or see rainbow colors. Yes, I do, but I don't see these phenomena as "my" HPPD symptoms. I never said that not everything I see can also be seen by normal people, just very very much weaker. I also saw them just much weaker before getting HPPD. In this way I'm differing from many other HPPD patients - I have strong halos, I have very strong colors and so on but in general my visual symptoms are comparably benign and if I would just have the visual symptoms I don't know if I would see myself as ill or seeing doctor at all.

My first symptom after the trip was DP and extreme insomnia, this was 4 weeks before vision started to change. A bit later, mood swings joined. This is the worst. I'm not an anxious or emotional guy, I never was. I see the facts as they are and accept them. It does not make sense to worry about something that you cannot change. I understand everything that you say and I would have said the same if I would not had my expierience. On many days, suddenly a feeling of strong anxiety comes up, stays for some hours and goes away. I'm not anxious, I don't worry. I just FEEL anxious, it's the mood, not the thoughts. For me it's like pain - it's not something that you can control, it's just an extremely bad feeling that comes when something is wrong somewhere in your system. Sure you can try to distract yourself, but it does not cure the feeling just as distraction does not cure pain. When it comes, everything you can do is waiting until it's over. Very rarely, euphory comes up like under LSD or MDMA / like I'm on a trip. Never before my HPPD I got such extreme euphory without taking any drugs. It's not correlated to any event in my life, just as the anxiety it suddenly appears and goes away again. Also, I often get depressive feelings or just a very strange feeling that is unpleasent and hard to describe. Everything comes for a few hours and subsides again. Insomnia faded after 4-6 months, but mood swings and visuals got stronger overall. I'm not obsessing about my visuals at all, I just notice that they got a bit stronger each 1-2 months. Very often, I did not care about visuals for weeks and thought they are not changing anymore. Anyhow, they do not subside in this time - contrary to what I would expect, at least every 2 months I suddenly notice a new visual effect or some worsening that was not there before. I don't know how your words can help me to cure. Yes, visuals are irritating some time, but I don't obsess about them and I wouldn't see them as a fundamental problem if I would not suffer so much on the other symptoms.

On 2/2/2020 at 11:21 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

I came on here trying to help and wasn't expecting this kind of reception if I'm honest.

What were you expecting? That everyone here reacts with "ooooh, didn't know that, never tried to stop focusing an visual phenomena". As said, you're acting like someone who tells a depressive patient he can cure it by just not being sad. Please understand. NOBODY WANTS TO BE SAD. NOBODY WANTS TO OBSESS ABOUT VISUAL SYMPTOMS. Everyone suffering under HPPD would love to stop noticing visual phenomena and everyone has hardly tried to do so, just as everyone with depression does not want to be sad and did try everything to get happy again. Your advise is not bad, but it's ridiculous and ignorant to think that not every single HPPD patient suffering on it at least some months is aware of it and has tried to follow it with no success.

You're respectless when you don't accept that many other people made expieriences which are completely contrary to what you claim. You have completely no evidence other than your own expierience, but at the same time you deny all other expieriences and try to argument with "proofs" that are not even close to what can be called scientific evidence. The worst thing a scientiest can do is ignoring all facts and expieriences that go against his own theory. This is not science, this is dogmatism. The best scientist is the one who listens and is willing to question & adapt his opinion when he gets to know contrary information.

It's like everybody in the room did hear something ring and you don't. What is the right consequence? Denying the existance of this sound and saying to yourself every other one in the room is crazy and obsessing about quiet sounds? No, you would think "I didn't hear it, but probably there was something, even if I can't know". Please accept that other people made other expieriences than you and that what you're saying is not a solution for most HPPD sufferers.

Edited by AlphaBeta

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The stupid thing is... even if his conclusion was true (that the visuals are a psychological side effect of anxiety)... It would not change the hppd diagnosis in the slightest.... and the cure, we should sky dive 24/7? 😂

Obviously his theory is incorrect though, i had visuals without any anxiety when I had mild hppd. Even with severe hppd, i can control my anxiety to a bare minimum, maybe even zero, if i am at home, watching a film with no one to interact with. Visuals are still 100%. 

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This is the same kind of bullshit that I've dealt with when trying to get help for this from "doctors". It's anxiety its all in your head. Stop thinking about it it will go away. Everyone that has to deal with HPPD/Brainfog/Depersonalization knows the frustration. I've tried to accept that this is all anxiety, but it's still here. It's a neurological disorder, plain and simple and I bet an FMRI can measure this.

Has anyone ever heard of Pseudobulbar affect? Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) is a condition that's characterized by episodes of sudden uncontrollable and inappropriate laughing or crying. Pseudobulbar affect typically occurs in people with certain neurological conditions or injuries, which might affect the way the brain controls emotion. So is MattyHouseMouse suggesting that people with this Pseudobulbar affect can actually control there symptoms with shear will power? It doesn't work like that. If it could then what does that tell you about consciousness itself? Does the mind exist beyond our reality? And if it does then I guess with enough will power we could override any problem confined to our material world. I could literally grow a fucking leg back, or a brain.

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To flip his argument, why doesn't everyone with drug related anxiety have visual issues? When I got hppd, there was no internet and no mention of anything like hppd, so why would I see visuals because of anxiety, yet other people didn't (even though they had plenty of anxiety)?

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14 hours ago, Kyle77 said:

This is the same kind of bullshit that I've dealt with when trying to get help for this from "doctors". It's anxiety its all in your head. Stop thinking about it it will go away. Everyone that has to deal with HPPD/Brainfog/Depersonalization knows the frustration. I've tried to accept that this is all anxiety, but it's still here. It's a neurological disorder, plain and simple and I bet an FMRI can measure this.

Has anyone ever heard of Pseudobulbar affect? Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) is a condition that's characterized by episodes of sudden uncontrollable and inappropriate laughing or crying. Pseudobulbar affect typically occurs in people with certain neurological conditions or injuries, which might affect the way the brain controls emotion. So is MattyHouseMouse suggesting that people with this Pseudobulbar affect can actually control there symptoms with shear will power? It doesn't work like that. If it could then what does that tell you about consciousness itself? Does the mind exist beyond our reality? And if it does then I guess with enough will power we could override any problem confined to our material world. I could literally grow a fucking leg back, or a brain.

Essentially it appears its exactly what he is implying 😂 

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On 2/5/2020 at 3:57 AM, Jay1 said:

The stupid thing is... even if his conclusion was true (that the visuals are a psychological side effect of anxiety)... It would not change the hppd diagnosis in the slightest.... and the cure, we should sky dive 24/7? 😂

Obviously his theory is incorrect though, i had visuals without any anxiety when I had mild hppd. Even with severe hppd, i can control my anxiety to a bare minimum, maybe even zero, if i am at home, watching a film with no one to interact with. Visuals are still 100%. 

When people post as he did, it is best to not get too caught up in it because the manor was unreasonable.  Why?

  • Troll?
  • Egomania?
  • Just over exuberant?

Who knows.  But his 'style' is not unlike people popping onto forums and posting, "If you just pray to Jesus sincerely enough, he will miraculously cure you".  The reception to this is negative for obvious reasons.  [ And if one is into the Bible, it grossly misrepresents the whole situation we live in now ].

The whole topic of controlling anxiety has been discussed and will be discussed and will remain an important tool.  But anxiety <> HPPD.

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I actually don't mind these posts, brings everyone together!

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4 hours ago, Jay1 said:

I actually don't mind these posts, brings everyone together!

Love your positive attitude !

It is also true that many things that have been discussed are buried in the past, often not easily seen.

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This is going to kill me. My life has been on halt because of this, whatever it is. I don't really know if it is Derealization, Brain Fog or HPPD. These are just terms that I have found that best describe my symptoms. When this all started I believed it was anxiety, but it never went away. I just feel dumb as shit, and I have visual symptoms. I'm still living at home, I don't have a job, and don't plan on going to college. I don't have any motivation to pursue my life, BUT it's because I feel FOGGY. It's because I just feel OFF,  WEIRD, or maybe NUMB. And this all started when I decided to have a bender one weekend, and I do have a minor history of cannibas and K2 use. Every single fucking doctor I have seen will fail to recognize this. What does brain fog feel like? You can't focus, or maintain a train of thought. You feel high and out of it. You may get headaches all the time or have visual snow or static in your vision. You know things aren't right but no one will listen to you. Sometimes you may wonder if your just really Schizophrenic. I want to die!

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On 2/2/2020 at 5:42 PM, MattyHouseMouse said:

Will someone at least do me a favour and go skydiving...and report back their findings.

I went skydiving.

didnt make things better or worse.

youre an idiot 

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