Hi, I started HPPDonline.com in 2000.

[David S. Kozin]

 

Hi viewers. 

I would guess that many members have never experienced having me on the message board. A confluence of events occured that forced me away, and it has been hard to return. 

 

Why you should read this because it will be a thread that will include information I never discussed before, I will provide information that had been withheld and I will open up the work I did that has been reviewed by members of Senior Commitees in the APA and senior researchers at Yale. They thought the research ideas where quite valuable. 

 

My first admissions: 

When my HPPD started and I developed panic attack disorder and was put on a high dose of Klonopin. For the last 10 years, I have been on 4mg a day. 

A doctor finally had me tested, and I knew I have struggled with organization and my ability to control how I concentrate, and it was so severe I almost didnt graduate from High School, yet I slipped by as National Honor Society Preside t even though I failed all marling of Spanish, Calculus, Basic Accounting and Government. 

 

I took 6 hours of tests. Part of the interesting parts are that I write essays at a 5th grade level when forced to use a pencil and paper. This was a strong contrast to my academic publications and the rest of my testing. The other area that surprised me, was that I scored in the SEVERLY IMPAIRED

 

Hagen, Moore, 
Wickham, and Maples (2008) found that children who 
have trouble with visual skills have difficulty with 
attention, which interferes with executive brain 
functioning and mimics ADHD symptoms. Children 
with VPD may be easily distracted by too much visual 
stimulation.

[MadDoc]

I just noticed this thread is "hidden".  Was I not supposed to post here?  If so, I'll remove my post.  I was wondering why it was pink

Interesting!  I don't think I've mentioned this before, I'm dyslexic.  My writing skills in grade school were poor at best.  I've always loved to read, but I read very slowly.  In high school I was labeled as "slow" even though I excelled in mathematics and the sciences.  The creative arts (painting, drawing, etc.) came easily to me as well.

I wasn't diagnosed as being dyslexic until I was in my early 30s (my wife suggested I get tested).  Once I started using computers and had a keyboard, I found I could write!  With a pen and paper, I still have difficulty.  Even writing a simple note is difficult.   It's strange because using a pencil and paper I could write symbolic mathematical notation with ease.  Unfortunately, high school was when I started gobbling down psychedelics which didn't help.

I hope my post is relevant to this thread.  I read your post and what you dealt with in high school sounded very familiar.

The brain is a strange place,  at least mine is.

Edited August 7, 2019 by MadDoc
Noticed post was hidden

[David S. Kozin]

I was rambling on, and then wanted a break and to come back to it. It is perfectly fine to comment. ") it gives a good look into my brain I think. Also, if I am going to discuss something that may put me in a precarious situation, I just hide it and come back to it later. 

 

People with different learning styles or challenges in traditional classrooms or learning disorders are represented in a higher percentage than normal groups. This is Dr. Abraham's experience and I agreed. My qEEG and more specifically Dr. Frank Duffy's impression of my EEG back in 1999 is classic ADHD now. My front and central cortex has "astroundly high" amplitude for theta broadly across the region and even working on task, I am in this.high theta state. Of course, this is a state that monks are measured at achieving and people seek to reach this point with meditation. I can lucid dream almost at willner night if I thing about it for a few days. I can also see unusual connections in things and it has made what should have been an extremely lucrative stock trader. Howtoadhd in YouTube is a beautiful spirit with ADHD that has an wonderful channel she developed and has recently had other groups visiting on her channel. 

 

I'll post something about this soon enough, but it may be a video.

 

Oh yes, my one point: more people with HPPD have these conditions, but do students feeling they are not working up to their own standards at school or life and are frustrated tend to take hallucinogens more than neurotypical and this is why the prevalence. 

 

I take Adderall for it, and it is a life changer. I was in tears at all the first. I finally graduated college in 2011 after starting in 1996 and having three publications in the interim. But in 2008 I read a book without skipping pages. I am celebrating that Inhave not missed a doctor or dental appointment in one year using my Bullet Journal, which I treat with every reverence. I would miss final exams and appointments routinely and it could be written on my hand. 

 

Ok, I have had trouble sleeping ever since I took a drop from 4 to 2mg of Klonopin recently and punctuated it with 7 days of klonopin free. I was in a safe space, so now I am trying 2mg and the day goes well, but sleep is not. This includes.that I have gabapentin to help. 20 years of benzos will definitely change expression of receptors, but I think we are much more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. 

 

- dk 

[David S. Kozin]

It might make a useful post now. Unfinished. It can be your call. If you think helpful, then unhide it all and keep the conversation. One major step I worked to change is my ability to let go and trust others. Night!