Hey how's it goin everyone?
So I'm not much of a drug user, smoked a lot of pot as a teen quit in my 20's after it started making me paranoid used mushrooms a few times smoked opium a few times tried coke a few times never really enjoyed getting high always preferred alcohol and was freaked out by how friends acted on lsd so I never tried it.
Flash forward to the present, I was at a Halloween party everyone was having a great time including a chick there who was tripping balls, kept telling me how I should do acid, its so great I'll love it'll change my whole outlook on life acid is soooo awesome.
Well I told her a good 6-7 times that night I didn't use drugs. Had another drink set it down to take a photo..... Finished my last drink went home went to bed woke up a few hours later totally fucked up.
My first time tripping experience I was not expecting it, in middle of sleeping, total darkness, no music, no tv, no people, no paintings or art.
Just darkness and silence, it sucked really bad.
So ever since then I've had terrible anxiety, an unexplainable fear of leaving the house and driving, everything and everyone looking way too real.
Not exactly hallucinating, but everything looks weird, too real weird. Looking people in the face when I talk to them and the details in their faces become too much to handle as if they're turning into a cartoon character of themselves yet still human.
I've also been getting vertigo and feel like I'm falling over a lot especially if I'm watching a movie with fast movement.
There's a lot of posts from years past here to look through, so any suggestions on your experience, medications, what type of doctor, websites or news articles you'd like to share I appreciate.
If I should repost this in a different area also let me know.
Thanks for any help.
In 2011, during a month, I developed a lot of neurological symptoms (I was 20 and then only marijuana several times in my life) - visual snow, palinopsia after images, floaters and tingling of the whole body (24/7), muscle fasciculations.
In 2011-2014 I was diagnosed comprehensively (MRI, cerebrospinal fluid, evoked visual potentials, blood etc.). It only turned out that I was infected with Bartonella. I treated myself for several weeks according to ILADS, but finally I gave up. I have learned to live with these symptoms since accepting treatment failure in 2014. Now some of the symptoms are gone, some are still present (like VS, body tingling).
Now to the point. A week ago I had the opportunity to take half a pill of ecstasy/mdma (it was my first time in my life, I only thought that LSD can cause permanent vision problems, so under the influence of alcohol I took half a pill). That night I also drunked a loooot of vodka and beer. And I don't remeber second half of the night.
The next day I sobered up and read that MDMA may also cause/worse with HPPD/ VS. I got stressed and think my visual symptoms have got a little worse. But I wonder if it's not that under stress and paying attention to visual snow, palinopsia - I just see them more...?
1. Is there anyone here who caused (or worsened) visual snow, palinopsia - after images by ONLY ONE (1st) USE ecstasy / mdma ? I took a half a pill and drink a lot of alcohol (Does alcohol weaken the effect of ecstasy in the brain?)
2. Does it pass someone or is it permanent forever?
Im 19yo, I developed hppd a year and a half ago and always checked this forum, but never had an account.
at the age of 12, I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression and since I was a kid I felt what we call dp/dr, visual snow and tinnitus. I used to treat anxiety taking sertraline, but stopped before drugs.
After starting smoking weed and doing some ecstasy, mdma, mda and cocaine accidentally (who gave it to me told it was mdma), I noticed a lot of worsening in my symptoms, I noticed that I had palinopsia too, I freaked out and got really bad, for like 9 or 10 months.
I did everything to get better (really everything). Took some benzos to chill out (Clonazepam, Alprazolam and Diazepam), did acupuncture (I think that helped), started eating better, exercise, treated my spirit with a sensitive woman, a lot of things.
Nowadays, I think my symptoms are like they were before drugs (?) but they definitely got better and some vanished, but now I know that I have palinopsia too.
I drink alcohol, I roll my own tobacco and sometimes take a good amount of xanax. None of these make me feel worse.
My question is, these days my anxiety is on maximum state, my doctor recommended me taking wellbutrin, because he knows I will never touch ssri's and I don't want to get addicted to benzo s, do you guys think taking it has a chance to bring back my old symptoms and worsen the ones that I already have?
ps. Once, when I was "recovered", I gave weed a try and it didn't increased my visuals symptoms in a way that I noticed, but gave me a trigger on my anxiety in the next days.
Thx and greetings from Brazil (Is my english that bad?)
I hope all of you guys recover from this thing that we suffer.