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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
Beefheartfan

Do I have HPPD? What are the chances it will go away?

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Hello. 

I’ve done acid thrice. 

The first time I did about 100 ug. A pleasant experience, and I had no problems. Didn’t really trip - mostly pleasant colours and such. 

Second time was something like 130 ug. Was also quite fun, but I got a thought loop, and ended up with closed eyes floating in psychedelia. 

After that I heard of HPPD and decided to stop, because I didn’t want that shit. 

I then, accidentally infested a tiny amount of LSD at a concert by mistake. Maybe something like 15-25 ug. This is abort one and a half month ago .

After that I have slight visual snow. It’s mostly on dark things, but I can notice it anywhere, if I’m so inclined. It definitely is worse when I’m “aware” of it or if I’m anxious. 

I also have slight double vision at times, but I’m pretty sure that’s just anxiety, since if i “relax” my eye that goes away.

i have almost daily panic attacks, and I’m very sad that my vision is altered  the panic attacks are mostly me being extremely sad.

My psychologist, who deals a lot with people with drug related problems, is quite convinced that it’s anxiety, and nothing more. Especially considering my previous fear of HPPD. 

Also: since then I have been exercising regularly, stopped both caffeine, drugs, weed and alcohol. I’ve only had a cigarette or two.

Do I have HPPD do you think? It’s quite mild if I do, right? What are the chances it will go away, and how fast?

Edited by Beefheartfan

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I don't think you have hppd.  I honestly don't.  Try not to dwell on the symptoms you do notice.  In other words, don't feed them.   Focus on those things that will improve your life and make you happy.  Over time, I suspect what symptoms you have will improve.

You've decided to stop using drugs.  That's the single best thing you can do to avoid hppd.  I'm not saying you should never have a drink or have a little nicotine.  I am saying that avoiding psychedelics and cannabis is the safest thing to do.

Give your symptoms time to subside.  It can take months, so be patient.  Also, don't attribute every anomaly to hppd.  As humans our sensory interpretation isn't always perfect.  For example, double vision may very have nothing to do with taking psychedelics.

Thank you for posting.  Hang in there, and take care of yourself.

 

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Thanks soooo much. The only thing I've been able to find online when searching is disappointment. You gave me a little hope. So do you think it's anxiety or just passing HPPD or what?

Is there anything I can do to help it? Because I am extremely anxious that my vision is permanently impaired.

 

Again, thanks a lot for the response.

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And yes, I'm hoping that I can enjoy a bit to drink in the future - I'm still in my country's equivalent of high school (which is a bit later than the American one), so I'm hoping I can drink a bit in the future. 
If it is mild HPPD - what are the chances it will fade away and get better? Can I recover completely?
I have, however, for a long time thought about turning my life around. Stop doing drugs and smoking weed. So it isn't hard to stay off that since I was already in that mindset, so to speak.

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Also, sorry that I write all the time, feel a slight discomfort(?) when looking at fine patterns. Like the fine mesh on a speaker (if you know what I mean.) It can be a bit like it's moving, but often its mostly because it's "flashing" because of the visual snow.
 

Which is a terrible explanation really...

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Have you had your eyes checked?  I have visuals most of the time, but I've never had an issue with double vision.  Strangely enough, I've never had what's described as visual snow either.  We're all different so there isn't one set of symptoms that fits everyone.

Understand, I'm not a doctor.  My opinions are based on what you've written.  You've only dosed three times.  I'm convinced that if I had stopped dosing early,  I wouldn't have perminent visuals.  

It's been only 90 days since your last dose.  It can take a while to bounce back.  You mention you detect some movement when you look at a speaker.  I see patterns, faces, animals, weird symbols, etc.  If you do have early hppd symptoms, they sound mild.  It really does sound like anxiety is an issue for you.  You have someone helping you with that, that's excellent!   Many people's symptoms improve over time, but be patient.  

One more thing.  I've had hppd for decades but I've had a wonderful life.  Even if you have a mild form of hppd, you can have a very bright future.

Again, stay clean, stay focused, and stay strong.  Being human is difficult for anyone especially as the world speeds up.  All we can do, is the best we can do.

Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.  There are some really bright people who post here who may have some good suggestions.

I hope what I've written makes sense.  It's late, and my old skull needs sleep.

 

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Okay, thanks a lot. 

Yes, I have had my eyes checked, and there wasn’t an issue. I believe Tim double vision is a biproduct of anxiety, since if I relax my eye in a special way it goes away. 

So it’s really just the snow that’s a problem. And I’m sure my anxiety is only making that worse. 

So some months is the usual, right? Before it, hopefully, goes away. 

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And I don’t really detect movement on the speakers (and stuff like that). That’s mostly if I’m having a panic attack. It’s more that all the little irregularities on the surface sort of trigger the visual snow-ish symptoms. 

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I've tried an array of natural therapies for anxiety over the years.   For me, none of the herbs, plants, etc. on their own did much.  However, eating a simple diet consisting of natural foods helped me feel better overall.  I stick to a vegan diet and avoid fast and packaged food.  I'm not preaching, it just works for me.  I also stick to a daily meditation practice which has been a huge help treating my anxiety (I mention this all too often and it's probably getting repetitive).  I use CBD when I have insomnia and it works well.  I don't take any pharmaceuticals.  That's  me, we all have to find our own path to wellness.  It's like a puzzle you have to solve. 

Dig through the forums.  Some people have had success with herbal treatments.  Others have had success with prescribed medications.  Lots of smart people post here.

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Okay. Will look around. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist soon. I was wondering if there’s any medication I should stay away from?

and is it possible to recover completely? I see a lot of different opinions on that. Got to admit I have a very hard time with all this right now. And I’m still not sure if I have HPPD. My cognitive behaviour therapist told my he thinks it’s anxiety. And he has dealt a lot with people who use and abuse drugs.

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As for medications, I'd look into the "medications" area of this forum.  You may want to post your question there.  

I think there are a lot of people who do make a full, or nearly full recovery.  What happens though is people who do recover drift away from this forum so we don't hear about it (not my observation, another person broght that up and it makes sense).  

Because you've only dosed three times, and because your symptoms appear to be mild, I suspect any remnants left over from psychedelics will fade.  It really does sound like anxiety is your biggest issue.  You're seeking treatment for your anxiety which is an important step forward.

In life, there are some things we can change, and others we can't.  Never give up on yourself.  Find your inner strength and use it to help you move your life in a positive direction.  There are some people in this forum with severe cases of hppd who have done some amazing things. 

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Okay. I am hoping for full recovery. I talked to a guy that had one. I’ll try and remember to write if I, hopefully, do have one :) 

 

I want some anti anxiety, as I said, but I’m scared it’ll make it worse or permanent. Is that something you’ve seen with, for an example, SSRIs?

 

i just have a very hard time being positive, and already struggled with depression before this. 

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I've developed diplopia (double vision, ghosting) with my visual snow, so you are not alone. I've also struggled a lot with depression, anxiety, all my life and the visual problems does trigger it. I've stopped with all substances, medications, etc. to find a base line. I am not there yet. Keep strong, keep clean, keep healthy, hopefully it turns around. Dealing with anxiety seems to be the main issue for me, and it is a struggle. Eating healthy has benefited me some when it comes to that and focus on activities I like.

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