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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
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DEVILD2230

20YO looking for advice

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Sorry in advance if this stretches out for a bit, long time lurker and reader of this sub and thought I might share my story.

 

I’m going to start by saying I have quit all drug use, and decreased drinking to maybe once a week (in college). I have visited an opthomolagist and neurologist, had an MRI and nothing has appeared, as far they I know I’m functioning normally at a healthy rate and am taking NO medication.

 

7th of August 2018 was when I woke up to light visual snow and all around very mild symptoms. Obviously at the time I had no clue what it was but presumed it started after I had a bad trip 3 nights before on what I was told by my mates to be MDMA and they all were fine on it but it sent me into another universe seeing a whole host of random shit and don’t recollect about 3 hours of the night. I have never been really heavy on the gear just like doing it casually and at a few festivals etc etc and only ever done 2 half tabs of acid.

 

Anyway, fast forward to now over the course of 7 months Ive had symptoms come and go, some have become more pronounced, not sure if it’s because I’m more hyper aware of them or because they’ve just gotten worse as time has progressed. I’ve developed after images of everything I look at quite literally and all positive which hangs around for a split second, some weird symptoms too like tingling in my hands, feet and burning feet at times which has subsided, when I blink really fast I can see a somewhat rainbow colour as well as a clear blue sky having a slight red hue over the top of it as well as floaters which started out minimal and now are of a medium quantity all fairly clear and starbursts off headlights and street lights.

 

 I’ve symptoms that have also come and gone. Head pressure which went away after a month or so as well as headaches which have now gone away. I don’t feel like my visual snow has progressed nor has it decreased, compared to others on the sub, I rarely notice it heavily during the day but at night I can notice it is quite pronounced.

 

To be quite frank, I’ve never been a real down or anxious person and usually excelling on the sporting field but Something like this has obviously got me pretty down, and has taken over my life so to speak over the last 7 months constantly researching and looking on these subs.

 

Ive got a beautiful girlfriend of 4 years that I desperately want to keep in my life but it’s hard to focus entirely on her when this slowly gets worse. I’m just looking for any advice or any comfort in knowing if these symptoms will eventually stop developing or if I’m the future I can expect them to subside.

 

It’s hard because at my age in my social group most social things are based around taking MDMA to have a good time + going to festivals and all that and I’ve had to give it all away the past 7 months which has been annoying, but I’ll put my health over partying any day at this stage. 

 

Sorry for the long read, love this sub and the support it brings.

 

 ❤️

 

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Your story is similar to mine. in fact if you are new here you will see that almost all are the same. I also went through everything you went through, from the bad trip to the visual symptoms that remained after the trip. So I can state clearly that what causes you this horrible anguish about the facts is not the false visual perceptions but the concerns they cause you. The cycle of anxiety is the same for everyone. You start by having a bad thought, and you mentally struggle not to have it, which causes your attention to return to it. The remedy for this is distraction. You, who are already familiar with sports, should return to practice, for physical activity releases serotonin and acts almost as an anti-depressant in the head, not to mention that the physical fatigue of a pleasurable activity generates mental satisfaction and bad intrusive thoughts disappear. As for the visual symptoms, they do. Mine improved, but for that I did psychiatric treatment with risperidone. I suggest you look for a treatment, too. In my dung country (Brazil), the health area sucks, so it was difficult to actually find treatment. But I imagine that where you live is not like that, so search for it, because the doctor will know what to do. Do not suffer silence, tell your girlfriend what is happening, she will understand. Stay in peace and cut down on current drug use, including alcohol and cigarette smoking, coffee also boosts in anxiety. 

I'm sorry for grammatical errors, I'm using google translate

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