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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
vladika00

How can i cure?

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Hello people, this is my first post at the forum do i just wanted to introduce myself and my symptoms, i only took mdma once in my life and it gave me this situation in wich i am right now, im really agitated from a time to time, feeling semi-lucid ot something i dont know how to describe, but its really weird for me since i had one experience with psychodelics and boom, im here, i have a ton of floaters wich doesnt bother me that much, i got used to it, and fair to say i know they will be here for the rest of my life wich really sucks, i think its not only hppd in my situation but rather said some sort of brain damage, i dont know what was in that mdma but it turned my life upside down, really annoying stuff going on, my life is so simillar to that one time i rolled, christ sake, i was a very good football player, had advantages in every aspect of the life comparing to the others, i was a math genius, chess maestro, and i throwed everyting down the river like it was a toy, wrong boyish calculation, okay so on, my life is really a nightmare in past 5 months, seeing variety of visuals but mostly in the dark, when im in a dark(when i say dark i mean black black dark, the darkest one) i see the same as i do when i close my eyes, when i finger press my eyes i see some sort of shapes, variety of shapes, they come and go left-right slow-fast, i dont know what determines the size and shape or the speedyness of shaped but they vary from the night to night, i see something like spider weeb from time to time, mostly what i see eyes closed is dark with these shapes, also the snow, tiny little brighty spots in the whole field, i saw different experiences in wich im blessed that i dont see them on the daylight, that would be really too much, sometimes i see people when i close my eyes, mostly males, they are so frightening, their eyes are wiggling, going inside-out, my nerves are kinda fucked up, my legs are shaking from time to time, eyelids wiggling, or im not sure maybe it is the eye but i cant really notice it, im sure i got some sleeping disorders too, this isnt a known sleep disorder, its simillar to narcolepsia but without daily sleepyness, im mostly manic throughout the day, semi lucid as i would say, im dreaming whole sleep stage, 4-5 dreams throughout the night and i can remember all of them, its not like im sleeping, i can call it thinking, every little noise wakes me up, wich wasnt happening before, none of this, i was normal, social, funny, even more inteligent than the others if this isnt stupid thing to say since i tried that stupid drug, but when i look at them and at me its like ground-sky difference, blue field phenomenon also appears, not only at the sky, i can see it on tv screen on bright white or blue, those colors fit still dunno for the others, sometimes i feel dizzy and disorientationed, i see halos around the light, but it varies from a light to light, not all the same, so that would be my symptoms, i decided to fight this and not to let over-take me, since im a fighter whole life, i wont give up i made a promise, so tell the people to not ever make foolish mistakes, they can change the life upside down without knowing it.

 

So if you know any supplements or something that can help, please share it, im willing to try everything that can help me, im excersising mostly every day, im gonna speed up from now, two times a day no excuses.

 

Sorry for grammary, its not my native language, it is my 3rd language.


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Same thing here, took mdma once in my life symptoms showed up a month later.. smoked one time in that month and it set me off but it first started with DP/DR then eye floaters then after images 

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Hi there!

It definitely sounds like you have HPPD. Welcome aboard. I've also had HPPD for around 5/6 months now, and I know how tough the first few months are. You can feel really scared and alone, and before I got used to it I didn't know what to do. Thats where the forum comes into play. People on here can really help you feel better but also just... less alone. And that's important.

My first bit of advice is to just stop smoking weed (if you are still doing that). It's a drug that does not mix well with HPPD, and can not only trigger it (it triggered mine) but make your symptoms much worse. Quitting weed is for the better! The first two weeks or so after during withdrawal feel so horrible, but after that, it's a lot better. Quitting all other drugs is also beneficial, both the hard stuff and even stuff like caffeine or nicotine. 

I also have the sleep disorder stuff. I had very vivid lucid dreams for a few months, but the medication I'm on helps a lot! It's called clonidine. I have a much easier time falling asleep, and my dreams are less vivid and less terrifying as well. It's a blessing. I also take lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer that most other HPPD-ers find doesn't irritate their symptoms. However, medication is up to you and some people prefer to go without. I've also heard klonopin helps. Although they can't solve your visuals, they can help a lot with the emotional symptoms. I'd recommend seeing a doctor if you can find one that'll listen to you. 

I know it sounds crazy, especially now, but it'll become normal after a while. Please look more at the forum for coping mechanisms and possible supplements that might help you live day to day. But keep in mind, everyone with HPPD is different. Thing that work for others might not work for you, or the other way around! Keep experimenting and keep your head up. We're all in it together. I hope you start feeling better soon ❤️

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