I’m a first timer here and I really need some help with this. I did shrooms 3 times over a 3-4 week span, I dont remember the exact time period (this was a little over a month ago like in april). Im prescribed vyvanse which I take daily and the only other things ive done are drink and smoke weed. Anyways, after my last shroom trip everything was fine and i haven’t done it since but i do drink all the time. about two days ago i smoked weed for the first time in two months and i saw the letters on my phones keyboard dramatically wiggling and getting bigger and smaller while i was high. This has never happened to me before when i have smoked, I have only ever seen this when im on shrooms so this freaked me out because of what ive read on hppd. The next day I was watching tv and noticed that words on the screen were wiggling a little bit. Ever since then, every time I focus on a words or letters for too long, I see them subtly wiggling, it comes and goes and it has been improving over the past few days and its pretty much gone now. its nothing too bad and I wouldn’t notice it unless i really stare at them but im afraid it might get worse over time and I’m starting med school in two months. what makes this weird is that Ive read of hppd happening and then getting better shortly after a trip but my thing started a month after. The good thing is that I dont see static, visual snow, or any of that other stuff, just a subtle letter wiggling. I was thinking that i had it the whole time but i didnt notice until i smoked but what is weird is that i drink all the time and it never made it worse or even apparent at all to the point that i didnt notice I even had anything but weed did. Is it possible that weed may have triggered a mild form of hppd from previous shroom use? Also im prescribed vyvanse which i take every day and i have noticed that i dont see things wiggle when im on it, which is weird becuase Ive read everywhere that stimulants make it worse. What worries me is that I need Vyvanse for school and cant stop taking it and according to what I have read amphetamines worsen HPPD. Im not sure if I have it or not and since hppd is not very well understood im not sure whats going on. At such a critical point in my life this is kind of freaking me out so I would appreciate if those who may have experience with this kind of stuff would help shed some light on what is going on. I apologize if I sound dumb and don’t mean to disrespect those who truly have it but this is making me really nervouse and don’t know who else to ask. As far as when I smoked weed that time it was different than other times and I didn’t like that the letters kept getting bigger and smaller because weed doesn’t do that. Thank you for your help guys.
I’ve been trawling through this forum and seems like you guys are really helpful – not sure who’s active anymore but anyway I have some questions. Sorry it's long, if you’re feeling helpful but not up to reading then skip to the end :-)
I’m 20 and developed HPPD from LSD maybe 13/14 months ago. Light tracers, afterimages, visual snow, seeing colours etc. It caused me a bit of anxiety towards the beginning but it must have been very mild because it hardly bothered me at all. I could’ve very easily lived with it. I did MDMA multiple times in the following year, and some coke and keta, none made any difference to my HPPD, so I just linked it to LSD (wasn’t sure what it was really).
Just over a month ago I had mushrooms for the first (and LAST) time. Trip was extremely intense, I passed out and then it was like I’d woken up in another galaxy, but not a terrible experience like some you hear. About a week later I woke up with insane visuals, everything moving around, colours vibrant, people’s faces looked pink and yellow. I was vomiting and could hardly stand up. I felt like my life had ended, like I was no longer myself at all. I was seeing through a fish eye lens, my voice wasn’t my own, everything was moving around me like on a boat (I also have sea sickness so that didn’t help haha), brain fog, paranoia, crippling anxiety, muscle spasms and pain.
Im lucky enough to have a psych ive been seeing for the last 5 years so had that support. I found out a lot of the non-visual symptoms were anxiety-related (brain fog, muscle spasms, paranoia, and some worsening of visuals). I actually still feel as sharp as ever, just distracted by my visuals a lot of the time. My anxiety hasn’t been as bad, I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression before so that part I can handle.
It’s the fucking DP/DR that gets me, have never experienced it before and its hell. It got so bad I thought I was in a virtual reality simulator and my memories were all fake. And the visuals are definitely the cause – how could I not feel like things are fake if everything looks fake? I’ve been very up and down in managing it since then but still functioning, seeing friends, doing uni work, trying to get out and do things, exercise, I already ate pretty healthy.
Symptoms now: everything permanently looks like a mild acid/mushroom trip, covered in very heavy static, nothing looks solid, colours very vibrant and stuff moves in my peripheral vision, and sort of wobbles in and out of shape when I look at it (with all the afterimages, light trails etc. but I was already sort of okay with that stuff and can deal with it), and DP/DR. I am feeling depressed but that I can deal with.
So my questions are: do your visuals (the static in particular) ever fade away or will I just have to get used to them?
Or as it’s been just over a month since it got really bad, is it worth having Klonopin, Sinemet or Keppra now or should I wait?
I was thinking sinemet could be worth a try, even though it hasn’t done much to a lot of people, it seems to have the least side effects and I want my DP/DR to go away.
Or should I just get some Klonopin for the days when it gets really bad?
Very luckily my dad’s a doctor and completely believes me and is willing to prescribe me anything I think will help. (I live in Australia and have heard it’s hard to get it recognised at all here)
Sorry for the long ramble and thank you so much to whoever replies <3
Hello, my names is Mark. I am 19 years old and in September I will be turning 20. In advanced I would like to appoligize for a very long post and for being very specific about my drug use. I need help.
I come from Russia. I moved to LA when was 13 and by the time I was 14 I became and active drug user. I don’t have any real mentally ill people in my family like people with schizophrenia and such. My older brother who is about to turn 38 is a sociopath and my mother and sister have anxiety. My dad is a functional alcoholic but nothing to crazy.
Moving to LA:
2012/2013 - I started using Magic Mushrooms, ALD-52, Marijuana. Also started smoking cigarettes. In March of 2013 after a 500 microgram ALD - 52 trip I developed some HPPD but didn’t know what that was until I went to Amsterdam that summer to do a summer job and took mushrooms and told someone that I have some of the aspects of the trip when I’m sober and that person recommended to read about HPPD. I came back and tried DMT, for some reason it didn’t work.
Coming back to LA:
2013/2014 - I continued to used psyhadelics. I’ve finally tried LSD - 25 and had a very powerful trip that made me stop. I tried Cocaine and MDMA. I was fasinated with the world of American pharmaceuticals and tried a bunch of random pills like: Ritalin, Vyvanse, Codeine, Hydrocodone, Xanax, DXM and serroquil.
Side note: I was very depressed. My HPPD was getting worse and I lied to my psychologist that I’m done with drugs while using drugs. He recommended me to go see a psychiatrist that would prescribe me some anti - depressants. I was on Wellbutrin for 2 months and it didn’t work. He then put me on Lexapro for the rest of the school year but it made go crazy for a bit in terms of WD’s. I kept taking the pills and then stopping and then taking them again and I’ve developed racing thoughts before I went to sleep so then he placed me on Lunesta witch I abused and it was one of my favorite drugs.
Moving back to Russia:
I got expelled my senior year when I was 15 and had to move back and for a month I smoked hardcore Sativa weed, took Lunesta and did a bunch of cocaine/meth. After a horrible MDA experience in Moscow I eventually decided to stop taking drugs and became a full blown weekend alcoholic + I also took drugs, but only sometimes.
2014/2015 - I would drink from 500 ml (17 ounces) - 1 liter (34 ounces) of whiskey/vodka or any hard liquor or cocktail every Friday and Saturday in clubs and bars, during the summer I drank on Thursdays and Sundays too. Sometimes I went on benders but drinking wine mostly and starting in the evening only. I also huffed nutritious oxide sometimes. I took cocaine a couple of times and since the weed in Russia is mostly laced with Acetone, Spice, or JWH based chemicals and hash is laced with heroin most of the times it always sucked and made me feel like I was tripping. I only smoked weed and Salvia when I went to the US, wich was twice, both times for two weeks. I also “really” tried Xanax and fell in love with it on the trip I took to LA during New Years.
Moving back to LA for the last time:
2015/2016 - I smoked every single day for 5 months, did a bunch of cocaine and used Xanax almost every day but took breaks for 2 weeks sometimes, I snorted OxyContin and drank Codein Syrup but rarely because I was really overweight and felt that I might die. I did mushrooms once, ecstasy once, ketamine once and I did Adderall also once. (Last time I did psychedelics and speed) I Kept getting sick and going to the hospital every time so decided to go back home and never move back.
Moving back to Russia again:
I lost a bunch of weight and kept drinking once again and at one point broke up with my at the time girlfriend and went on a two month whiskey/laced weed or really bad weed/fake Xanax bender. I ended up fleeing to Chicago (doing real Xanax, smoking weed, and drinking beer) and then Europe were I was cross faded most of the trip . I barely remember this, it was all during the summer. Somehow I managed to get my shit together before my birthday and sobered up a bit.
I was living in Moscow and found and OK plug for weed and started smoking every day. Got addicted to Xanax and Pregabalin (Lyrica) and by the time it was December 2016, I took up to 50 pills a weekend. 26th of December I OD’d. I drank whiskey morning till night every day and took codiene, Valium, Xanax, Atarax, serroquil, pregabalin, phenozepam and phenibut everyday until I went into an epyleptic shock and got taken to the ER.
My dad made he go to rehab in Israel and I was there for 4 months completely sober. I sometimes took mirtazipine to sleep. Rehab saved my life.
I got out and didn’t use anything until I got drunk in some bar in Siberia (Novosibirsk)
and decided that I’m going to drink because I couldn’t do NA. I drank every weekend not as crazy as I used to but still pretty intense. I smoked once in two months only if would travel and see my high school pals in places like Copenhagen or Amsterdam were it’s legal and safe. Took cocaine once by accident during the summer (was in my drink)
I got into a very bad car crash in December because my taxi driver fell asleep and broke my legs and stuff. I spended a month in the hospital where I was given Fentanyl, Tramadol and Gabapentin everyday (very depressed, had to go to the bathroom laying down). I got out and stayed in the country side watching films taking tramadol and gebapentin and smoking weed for 2 weeks. Then I quit and became sober again.
Here is what happened. After I got on my legs witch was recent I got back to drinking. On March the 3d I had alcohol poisoning I think and had to go to the hospital because the next day I thought I’m having a heart attack. I was in and out of ER for three days cleaning my blood. I was going to Barcelona for 10 days for work and I so paranoid that I’m going To get Delirium Tremens from drinking so much so often that I thought I was entering psychosis (btw I took atarax almost every hungover because anxiety was to intense) I went to the psychiatrist on the 9th and told him that I need something to manage my anxiety and also a benzo addict in the past and he prescribed me Buspar and Alimemazine. I took 30-40 mgs of Buspar everyday for 2.5 weeks. I got to Barcelona still very paranoid that I’m loosing my mind. Gave up and started taking Xanax 2 mgs per day for 4 days. On top I smoked weed everyday and after I couldn’t cold turkey Xanax cause of anxiety I tapered down until I got home. On the 21st of March I got back completely sobered up, even quit smoking cigarettes and had anxiety attacks (still have them) almost every day that made me take some Buspar and Atarax.
On the 24th I flew to see my dad in Germany and took ambien a couple of times to sleep. I also went to the pharmacy and got my self bromazepam and thank god I had it because after being very obsessive about becoming schizophrenic at a very young age or something, I suffered a very bad anxiety attack and I took some broma and it helped.
I got drunk on the 29th and told my parents that I need to solve this HPPD nonsense because I’m fucking done and emailed Doctor Abraham (famous HPPD Doctor) he emailed back and gave emails of his colleagues telling me his to old for this and he’s retired. None of his colleagues have responded to my very emotional email.
I’m willing to fly anywhere and do whatever it takes to help my self. I am now 100% sober and going back to NA just to stay sober. It’s really painful to be sober rn because I feel insane! Anxiety mostly. If anyone knows doctors, hospitals, centers that focuses on HPPD/anxiety tell me. Because I need to solve this. Please don’t ignore this. I need your help. I have every single symptom of a really bad case of HPPD
atarax - Hydroxyzine
rameron - Mirtazapine
lexotanil - Bromazepam
my email is: firstname.lastname@example.org