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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
therocknamedwonder

HPPD Story & Introduction

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Hello All,

PS: I'm sorry this is so long, but i'm desperate...

Although this site seems to be fairly inactive, I am still glad to have found people who also suffer from HPPD. I'm 18, and I only fairly recently developed intense around-the-clock symptoms around a month and a half ago; but I think I may have had very mild HPPD for around 3 or so months before that. I've only done acid once, mushrooms a handful of times, as well as K & a research chemical (given to me without my consent). I think my case is extremely rare, as my initial alarming symptoms were brought on by smoking weed, which was especially disheartening since I have been smoking several times daily since I was 14. It was horrible. I had an indescribable acid flashback that lasted around 26 hours ( I experienced full blown hallucinations, both visual and auditory ), that ended with me taking a trip to the hospital, due to the fact I had believed I had experienced a psychotic break. 

I have been sober since the incident, except for nicotine, which I also quit a little over 3 weeks ago. So now I'm completely sober. I'm currently also starting lamictal on a low dose (25mg) and I take clonidine x2 times a day for the accompanied extreme anxiety (.5mg x2) 

My visuals include some of the usual stuff; VS, after images, halos, heightened sharpness/saturation on everything, wavy walls, difficulty focusing on small patterns, tracers, trails, floaters esp while looking at the sky, etc. I also have DR/DP, as well as weird head feelings, tittinitus, and strange dreams. 

Truthfully, I am on here looking for support, knowledge about my newly developed condition, and just connection with people who understand. I would love to talk to people about HPPD who know what living day to day with this condition is like. No one I know has HPPD and it's scary living life day to day with all my new symptoms. I have hope that they will get better, but I know it's a slow healing process and I would love guidance & just someone to chat about how hard living with HPPD can be, especially being sober. It's difficult. 

Please reach out if you feel so inclined ❤️

Edited by therocknamedwonder

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Welcome to the board... You are still in the early days of hppd, so there is every chance you will start to see a recovery, especially as you were quick to go sober. My personal opinion is not to rush into the meds and just get used to hppd and find your baseline. If nothing has changed in 3-6 months, then maybe start exploring meds... Just my 2 cents

All the best, Jay

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Hello, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through but know that there is always hope! First of all you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, know yourself and know your body and listen to them; sounds like you already are.  Sobriety in my opinion is the best option, plus you are very young and the body/mind are resilient.  Give it time, relax if possible and be as healthy as you can to aid in your recovery.  I have found consistent sleep, regular exercise and a balanced diet all help.  Like you said it will be slow, you might not even notice changes but it will get easier; find what works for you and keep doing it. We are here for your support; take care and good luck. Remember one day at a time. 

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On 9/12/2018 at 2:46 AM, Jay1 said:

Welcome to the board... You are still in the early days of hppd, so there is every chance you will start to see a recovery, especially as you were quick to go sober. My personal opinion is not to rush into the meds and just get used to hppd and find your baseline. If nothing has changed in 3-6 months, then maybe start exploring meds... Just my 2 cents

All the best, Jay

Thank you for the welcome! That's honestly so nice to hear... I'm trying to make the decisions that will be best for my brain and body. 

As far as medication goes, I would love to live without them, but the anxiety and depression (which I already suffered from beforehand) have become absolutely unbearable. Is there an alternative to medication you can reccomend? Perhaps some supplements or any other day to day tips? 

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On 9/12/2018 at 6:13 AM, cosmiccharlie said:

Hello, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through but know that there is always hope! First of all you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, know yourself and know your body and listen to them; sounds like you already are.  Sobriety in my opinion is the best option, plus you are very young and the body/mind are resilient.  Give it time, relax if possible and be as healthy as you can to aid in your recovery.  I have found consistent sleep, regular exercise and a balanced diet all help.  Like you said it will be slow, you might not even notice changes but it will get easier; find what works for you and keep doing it. We are here for your support; take care and good luck. Remember one day at a time. 

I'm trying my best to give myself the best shot to heal! I think I am actually slowly improving, or at least I'm becoming more acclimated to my symptoms. My head feels more clear than it did initially, although a lot of stuff remains unchanged. I'm trying to keep hope ((: 

I've been sleeping around 8-10 hours a night, which has helped a lot; I think a lot of people with hppd would agree sleep deprivation makes it a lot worse. What kind of exercise would you reccomend? everytime I've tried exercise, oddly enough it makes my symptoms much worse. 

Thank you so much for your kind words ((: Like you said, one day at a time.

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15 hours ago, therocknamedwonder said:

Thank you for the welcome! That's honestly so nice to hear... I'm trying to make the decisions that will be best for my brain and body. 

As far as medication goes, I would love to live without them, but the anxiety and depression (which I already suffered from beforehand) have become absolutely unbearable. Is there an alternative to medication you can reccomend? Perhaps some supplements or any other day to day tips? 

Inositol worked well for my depression and also has a calming effect. My main advice is to do whatever you can to reduce stress though... If that means locking yourself in a room and watching movies or playing games for the next 3 months.. Do it.. That might mean quitting work or college, but your mental health for the rest of your life is just too important to worry about things that you can rebuild later. 

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