I believe I have been experiencing HPPD, for the last 23 years... is that possible??

[Snigglefutz]

Is that a possibility? Long story short when I was 13 yo (now 41) my brother gave me some LSD he picked up at a GD show at RFK. I took a couple of drops of liquid not sure of the dosing... anyways it was a absolutely horrible experience. I was admitted to the hospital, by my mother. They gave me a sedative and I continued to trip hard for the next 16-20 hrs. 

 

In the following several days I continued with heavy trails, movement in my visual periphery, auras around people and objects, after images, visual snow (at night only), abnormal vibrancy, etc... since then I have experienced all of that at some level of intensity depending on situations. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks as long as I can remember. At this point I’m unsure if that started before or after.  

 

I had tripped 2-3 times prior to this incident, all great experiences. And about 5 years later I had maybe 10-15 experiences with mushrooms and LSD. I smoked cannabis from 16-18. I went into the military and was on hiatus for 5 years. When I got out I smoked again for several years after my military service ended until employment ended that due to randoms. This year I am finally free to smoke cannabis again. 

 

I vape only cbd/indica at night to help with sleep and joint pain. I do notice a slight uptick in my visual disturbances but with the lights out it doesn’t effect me quite as bad. The dose is probably .2g of flower.

I had stumbled on a good link about HPPD when I was researching after images and auras. I read the article and was like holy crap has this been my issue all of these years? I recently went through and 8hr neuropsychological examination, where I was diagnosed with PTSD, low mood and ADHD. In the article I read, it states that HPPD exhibits symptoms similar to all of the things I have been diagnosed with.... 

 

I thought I had just fried myself and had to live with the visual disturbances. Well I did do permanent damage it seems, but I was unaware it was possible to treat it all of these years.

 

Is there a legitimate natural or medical treatment for this? I had seen lions mane, clonidine, and a few other supplements and medications that have some success controlling the symptoms. Does anyone have any experience? I’m sure I do have ptsd at some level, that event coupled with other non psychedelic related events in my life.. but I think this is the answer to my visual issues I have been experiencing since the summer of 1990. 

 

 

 

[olivier24445]

Kind of the same story for me, i lived 20 years thinking I had some kind of breakdown or psychotic episode that left me this symptoms, except, i've always been very sound and healthy since that time (had a massive shroom dosage when i was 18) , and actually very grounded and successfull in my adult life..So something did not match the puzzle. After i did 10 years of psychotherapy with not results, I just stopped looking, and did not care any more...until I heard of HPPD on youtube, it all made sense and I finally knew that was IT ! And by then i could search for a relief, finally, after all those years.

I tried almost all the supplements around (the usual and the non usual) - no results, only placebo.

Finally I decieded to try Lamictal first, because Keppra "rage" and mood did scare me a little.

Results at 50mg/day, yet : Much better ! Brain fog/dream like feeling (i was so use to , that i forgot I had it) gone

- Social interactions improved drastically : I'm not always over forcing my attention to focus on the situation / pay attention or get interest in what people are saying

- Visual : slight improvement (my computer screen really less messed up, when i work) - less sparkle and glitters  (i guess this might improve much more at higher dosage)

So i will keep rising the dosage.

I had 0 side effects only benefits.

I believe a PTSD therapy like EMDR or other may give good results, but the practicians here in my city know nothing about HPPD or are not willing to help/try experiment on it...So the chemical way is still good to take for now.

Edited September 4, 2018 by olivier24445

[Miller]

I know of no medicinal treatment for HPPD symptoms, however I have found that mindfulness training has helped me tremendously in controlling the way that I respond to visual symptoms. I find that over a period of time my symptoms have reduced in length and severity through the use of a few calming techniques. Furthermore, I have completely eliminated caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco from my system. HPPD tends to be worsened by any type of mind altering substance or stimulant. 

[Snigglefutz]

Olivier, thank you for the response and feedback. Yes our experience seems to parallel. I have always had a successful career, a good marriage, children. Like you, years of therapy for anxiety, and panic. I experience low mood at times.  I often wonder if things would have been different for me without this burden. I am seeing a psychiatrist today to see what my options are at this point. I will mention Lamictal and Keppra. I will keep the thread updated with my outcomes.

[Snigglefutz]

Thank you, for responding, Miller. Greatly appreciated. My visual manifestations have waned in intensity over the years, as well. They are mild/moderate these days, but frequency persists. The constant anxiety over all of these years is what has really taken its toll on me, I feel. I have used mindful breathing and meditation on and off over the past couple of years. I will try to make a routine of it for the next few months to see if it helps more.

[Jay1]

i've had it for 23 years now too... more than possible and sadly, there are people here who are in the 40+ years club.

Here's my medication regime... Not a cure, but quite the band aid!

I use a 4 days on, 3 days off benzo treatment with 10 days off every 2 months to further clean the system. It has worked for 10 years now, without any sign of tolerance or withdrawal:

Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Thursday 6pm
Clonazepam (1mg) - Friday 9am
Clonazepam (1mg) - Saturday 9am
Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Sunday 9am

[MadDoc]

I started taking psychedelics around the same age.  After six years of heavy use I finally stopped.  I've had visuals ever since.  I'm now 59.  So yes, it can linger for a long time.  Some of my symptoms have vanished almost entirely  (Closed Eye Visuals for example) but the visuals are still with me.

I took the natural approach.  Sobriety, meditation, and I try to stay as focused as possible.  I do this because when I'm focused I don't hallucinate.

Don't despair, just because I have (probably) permanent visuals, doesn't mean you will.  I'm just a run of the mill human and life is wonderful.  Even with the visuals.

Take care of yourself.