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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
sinergy

I'm an idiot, lmao

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Hey, I just wanted to thank k everyone so much for the support and for your advice and help, I can't believe it took me so long to realize just what happened.

As I'm sure most of you know, LSD has been known to be a "literal mirror" of sorts, in a sense that it can show you your main faults and flaws, any underlying fears you may have, and well, that's what this was, and I just failed to realize it.

On Friday is when I decided to look at all this as a message, I knew there would be answers in the actual issues, and as it turns out, there were.

I'm afraid of letting people down, I'm afraid of humiliation, of people shaming and shunning me, I'm afraid of failure. LSD showed me this, and continued to show me until I was able to get it.

After that realization, today, a LOT of my issues have been cleared up, their still there, and I know they still will be for a while, but I think I'm on an even better road to recovery because of this.

Still though, I'm no longer taking LSD, as Alan Watts said "If you get the message, hang up the phone." So again, thank you guys so fucking much for your help.

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I don't understand why you refer to yourself as an "idiot".  I agree, LSD can provide insight into our own minds.  You've had that experience.  The mistake I made was I thought psychedelics were a long term answer.  I think if I had taken it once or twice, taken what it had to teach, and then stopped then I might not have the hppd symptoms I've lived with all my adult life.  It sounds like you've made a rational decision to hang up the phone.  An idiot?  I don't think so.

Take care.

Edited by MadDoc
Foolish typing
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@MadDoc

yea, it still feels as if this reality is just, some sort of image, something thats not real, but it is greatly less then it has been, this realization has helped me a lot, but i still question everything, i feel like a husk, a shell almost, of my former self

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Yeah, you're not an idiot. I have been the idiot for taking acid on too many occasions. 

As MadDoc said, once or twice is enough to feel the beneficial effects. More than that is just asking for problems.

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@sinergy

Feeling like an empty shell or a husk is how I felt when I finally gave up psychedelics.  I think that's true for anyone who's given up drugs of any kind.  For me, it was a matter of setting my life in a different direction.  I found the sober activities that made me happy and set goals into action to get there.  It took a while but it worked.  It was bumpy at first because alcohol got in the way.  That solution is no solution!

Now, if I could just start feeling like I'm not some alien accidentally dropped on this planet.

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