Ive been accidently dosed like 8 tabs of liquid acid, and stupidly continued "tripping," even after that. So I started noticing a static over my vision, and I thought nothing of it at first. It has gotten much worse, and I haven't taken L.S.D in over a month. It especially gets worse if I'm smoking weed, it literally makes me have acid like visuals. Even without weed I get, tracers, halos around light, I get the pattern formation that forms when you take L, everything looks like it's shifting and melting, my anxiety has gotten progressively worse, I get visual snow, and I have pain behind my eyes sometimes, like a pressure almost, I have really bad after images, pretty much on anything bright, or lit up. Today for example I was driving, and looked at a stop sign when I looked down I saw the stop sign in my vision with my eyes open or closed. Does it ever get better, and is does it mean your brain is ruined?
----- This post is especially important for the Dutch guys out here on the forum -----
Recently I received a mail from Brijder Jeugd (rehab center) where they tell about a new upcoming research by a neurological department from a medical center about visual snow sufferers, and they're looking for people that want to participe in the research. This could be another opportunity to shred some light on the visual snow and HPPD. The research is targeted for Dutch people but I wouldn't hesitate contacting them in English if you're interested in the research. You can reach them by sending an e-mail to the address below:
If you're interested about the medical center, you can visit their website with the link below:
Leiden University Medical Center
Thanks for your time
Note: I'm not related to the LUMC in any way
A visit to the neurologist...
So i tried most nootropics legal on sale over the internet, and none of them really had effects on my 20 Yo HPPD .
I decided by then to see a proper neurologist to get a Keppra prescription.
Mine o mine, i forgot how some people are stupid and narrow minded about drugs...
So I picked up a random Neurologist on google map, nearby . After 45 days of wait (that's how long it take to have an appointment in Paris), I finally arrive to the long awaited appointment.
The guy seems like a regular doctor, in his 50's...So i started telling him, i had one of a teenagehood , and did drugs a few times (LSD, MDMA and did smoke cannabis).. Then i described the whole thing, and how it started, just after one single very light second LSD take...
Him : "Cut the crap" "what are you symptoms then".
Me : "I don't do any drugs since 25 years now, i have a very healthy lifestyle, still I have left some visual snow and trails which makes patterns like flash also"
Him : "Flash...You LSD don't really give flashback you know, it's in the movies"
Me : "I know that perfectly....I'm not making this up. That's not what i'm talking about".
I wait , and then he start to explain :
Him : "You may have a permanent damage to your optical nerves, we need a scan to see if we can do anything, but i'm very pessimistic".
Me : "mmmmmm.....really ? with LSD ????"
In fact , there is no way any drug , specially LSD can fry you optical nerve. So i start wondering what level of competence he had, regarding drugs, appart from saying, like most of common people, he heard of "Flashbacks stories"....
In the end, I figured out he was treating me in a very mean way, because of the "drug" topic, and because it made me look to him, like some kind of junkie, even if i look very normal and healthy...
I was telling him a very painful story and he was just rejecting me because the hallucinogen topic was taboo to him.
So I started telling him i doubted i had any damage of some sort, and then I pulled out the HPPD subject.
Off course, it was first news to him, and I saw his face starting to decompose right in front of me, as, it happened that i knew a little bit about neurology and brain chemistry in general.
The rest of the interview, i could feel he was ashamed of himself as I pulled out some medical reviews about the topic and what medication can be tried to help recovery.
Him : "I know I don't know everything, but i will try to learn and figure it out i guess, please forward me the doc in you possession "
Me : "That sound better, I'm sure many people do have this HPPD sickness and would be happy to be helped"
Him, (sweating) : yes yes, sure, i will review this documents and will get back to you asap.
Me : happy face, how much ? Oh 175$ ok there it is...
One week later.
I guess, he had second thoughts on how a good christian must treat people who used drugs once in their life.
I guess he sticked back to the "Good for you" he started with, after all.
I guess he must be happy this way.
I guess he wanted me to feel more sorry for myself because i did drugs once in a distant past.
At least, HPPD, did elevate me in a place where i know no one should be treated like that, ever. Where i know a good doctor should help his patients and listen to them whatever their story is.
Moral of the story : I made more research and found out a real HPPD specialist. I will not contact this B*¨*%* again to waste more of my time.
Be warned, there are doctors out there, happy to put the stigma on you, and happy to see your soul bleed because after all, "doing drugs is bad", while they prescribe drugs all the time to other patients, that sometimes, might also fuck their brain and health even more badly.
If you need help, don't listen to this doctors who want to bring doom and curse on you.
Stay positive. Hppd can be cured already for some people, and will be cured 100% some day.
"BPC-157 is a synthetic peptide that is being investigated for its regenerative effects. It shows high efficacy for rats suffering toxic or surgical trauma, but there is currently no evidence that it provides benefits for people."
I stumbled upon this peptide after browsing some websites and then I found reddit posts of users claiming that they cured their anhedonia. This substance does not mask symptoms like traditional drugs, but really has some sort of a healing mechanism that rapidly undoes damage from the dopamine system, with almost no side effects reported. This got my interest and I decided to try it out. Here are the results:
250mcg in the morning and 250mcg in the evening, administered with subcutaneous injections. So far I have used a total of 10mg in around 10 days, and I'm planning to do extra cycles in the future.
While injections offer the best bioavailability, it is reported that this substance is stable when taken oral. I cannot confirm this and I'd recommend to inject the substance, or use it sublingually (under the tongue). Subcutaneous injections are almost painless and you'll get used to it quickly.
I'm experiencing permanent benefits from this trial. In general I feel much calmer with myself and my mind is so much clearer. My sense of time has changed back to normal. It feels like the world around me is moving normal again and I can get more done. I'm even boring myself when I'm free. Before this trial I would be able to do a lot less in an hour and it felt like the time shifted faster, and it felt I couldn't get a hold of the world moving around me.
Cognitive functioning has improved a little, I mostly feel benefits from taking fish oil and I believe this substance has contributed to it Depersonalisation and derealisation has definitely improved. Most of the time, it doesn't even bother me and I feel more attached to myself My anhedonia has decreased, I didn't experience a huge improvement but it's still much better I feel generally less anxious - I haven't worried about my condition since My visuals have not changed in any way, but the substance helped me to handle them easier and they don't feel like a big annoyance anymore.
I did not experience any side effects, which is good. There is some research suggesting that it increases tolerance to amphetamine, but it hasn't been tested on humans.
I definitely recommend anyone with HPPD to try this substance. It might help you a lot with depersonalization and derealisation, as it did with mine.