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olivier24445

A visit to the neurologist

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A visit to the neurologist...

 

So i tried most nootropics legal on sale over the internet, and none of them really had effects on my 20 Yo HPPD .

I decided by then to see a proper neurologist to get a Keppra prescription.

Mine o mine, i forgot how some people are stupid and narrow minded about drugs...

So I picked up a random Neurologist on google map, nearby . After 45 days of wait (that's how long it take to have an appointment in Paris), I finally arrive to the long awaited appointment.

The guy seems like a regular doctor, in his 50's...So i started telling him, i had one of a teenagehood , and did drugs a few times (LSD, MDMA and did smoke cannabis).. Then i described the whole thing, and how it started, just after one single very light second LSD take...

Him : "Cut the crap" "what are you symptoms then".

Me : "I don't do any drugs since 25 years now, i have a very healthy lifestyle, still I have left some visual snow and trails which makes patterns like flash also"

Him : "Flash...You LSD don't really give flashback you know, it's in the movies"

Me : "I know that perfectly....I'm not making this up. That's not what i'm talking about".

I wait , and then he start to explain :

Him : "You may have a permanent damage to your optical nerves, we need a scan to see if we can do anything, but i'm very pessimistic".

Me : "mmmmmm.....really ? with LSD ????"

In fact , there is no way any drug , specially LSD can fry you optical nerve. So i start wondering what level of competence he had, regarding drugs, appart from saying, like most of common people, he heard of "Flashbacks stories"....

In the end, I figured out he was treating me in a very mean way, because of the "drug" topic, and because it made me look to him, like some kind of junkie, even if i look very normal and healthy...

I was telling him a very painful story and he was just rejecting me because the hallucinogen topic was taboo to him.

So I started telling him i doubted i had any damage of some sort, and then I pulled out the HPPD subject.

Off course, it was first news to him, and I saw his face starting to decompose right in front of me, as, it happened that i knew a little bit about neurology and brain chemistry in general.

The rest of the interview, i could feel he was ashamed of himself as I pulled out some medical reviews about the topic and what medication can be tried to help recovery.

Him : "I know I don't know everything, but i will try to learn and figure it out i guess, please forward me the doc in you possession "

Me : "That sound better, I'm sure many people do have this HPPD sickness and would be happy to be helped"

Him, (sweating) : yes yes, sure, i will review this documents and will get back to you asap.

Me : happy face, how much ? Oh 175$ ok there it is...

One week later.

No news,

No prescription,

No nothing.

I guess, he had second thoughts on how a good christian must treat people who used drugs once in their life.

I guess he sticked back to the "Good for you" he started with, after all.

I guess he must be happy this way.

I guess he wanted me to feel more sorry for myself because i did drugs once in a distant past.

At least, HPPD, did elevate me in a place where i know no one should be treated like that, ever. Where i know a good doctor should help his patients and listen to them whatever their story is.

Moral of the story : I made more research and found out a real HPPD specialist. I will not contact this B*¨*%* again to waste more of my time.

Be warned, there are doctors out there, happy to put the stigma on you, and happy to see your soul bleed because after all, "doing drugs is bad", while they prescribe drugs all the time to other patients, that sometimes, might also fuck their brain and health even more badly.

If you need help, don't listen to this doctors who want to bring doom and curse on you.

Stay positive. Hppd can be cured already for some people, and will be cured 100% some day.

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Back in the mid-80s I had an encounter with a doctor who was a real piece of work.  I told him about my visuals.  I told him that I was no longer using drugs (not totally true, I was drinking).  His response was basically "you deserve what you get for taking illegal drugs".  He was real nasty about it.  I made some comment (to the best of my recollection) that he was one hell of a doctor for making a comment like that.   Needless to say, I never saw that doctor again.  I've  never mentioned this disorder to any other doctor since.  

Doctors are people, therefore they are flawed.  Like any other cross section of humanity there will be a certain percentage of jerks.

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yes they are some real ignorant people out there, bounded by narrow morals and sheep minded...I guess if you are not conformist, one day or another, you will have to explore drugs, because after all, drugs, when they are not recreational, are a true way to get closer to what we really are and test our body limits.  Steve Jobs did it , and see what he came up with...

 

 

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He’s obviously extremely busy. He sounds arrogant and ignorant, but he did say he would learn everything he could and admitted he doesn’t know everything. You probably need to leave him a note wth the secretary over the phone as he most likely just forgot.

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Doctors have a long history of denying diseases they don't understand or haven't learned about in medical school. For a long time people with MS were told it was all in their heads. Same with even common diseases like cancer. I went to a doctor a few months ago and had an entire list of symptoms I've been having and he basically told me I was depressed and tried to prescribe me an antidepressant. He didn't even try to understand what I was going through. He didn't even listen. And unfortunately he's more the rule, not the exception. 

As for damage to the optical nerve, I might tend to agree with him on that at least being a possibility. It would make a ton of sense. Also there was a study out of China last year that proved LSD can cause necrosis if I remember right.  

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4 hours ago, K.B.Fante said:

Doctors have a long history of denying diseases they don't understand or haven't learned about in medical school. For a long time people with MS were told it was all in their heads. Same with even common diseases like cancer. I went to a doctor a few months ago and had an entire list of symptoms I've been having and he basically told me I was depressed and tried to prescribe me an antidepressant. He didn't even try to understand what I was going through. He didn't even listen. And unfortunately he's more the rule, not the exception. 

As for damage to the optical nerve, I might tend to agree with him on that at least being a possibility. It would make a ton of sense. Also there was a study out of China last year that proved LSD can cause necrosis if I remember right.  

Any chance of tracking that study down?

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      -E
    • By snowbaby
      Hi friends —
       
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      After that first month though, things started to get unpleasant again. Bouts of anxiety attacks, some good days, some very bad. It felt like I had been consistently alright for a while, but now my worst symptoms are pushing their way back in. I also developed minor muscle twitches every few minutes, which was completely new. I was prescribed Klonopin after a particularly bad anxiety attack and now I take 0.25mg when I feel myself getting panicky. I don’t like it, but it does keep me from panic. I quit smoking weed then (a few months ago), but that hasn’t helped.
      My hopeful suspicion is that perhaps I’m experiencing SSRI “poop out” with my Celexa, and could therefore ideally switch SSRIs and continue with lamictal. My neuro says the only way to know that for sure is to come back off the lamictal and see how it feels to just be on the Celexa again. Back down to 25 from 37.5 lamictal and feeling a bit worse actually, but my neuro says I need to get down to zero and wait two months to see what the deal really is. I’d much rather keep my lamictal dosage as is, and try switching to a different SSRI, as that just feels more “right” to me - but she’s the professional so ...
      If it turns out that I’m actually not tolerating lamictal well, I am interested in looking into sinemet... it seems to have been a wonder drug for some people here, but I would be very worried about developing dyskinesia, as I work in a field where that could ruin my career.
      No targeted questions here really, just looking to share relevant experiences/advice with other HPPD’ers. ❤️
       
      PS: for anyone doing the ol’ downward mental spiral in these forums and feeling hopeless (like I used to), things WILL get better. I’m still having struggles but I’m not in hell like I used to be, and life is very worth living for me right now! I have my bachelors and masters degrees, a solid career at 25, wonderful friendships, and going by objective criteria, am a fully functional human being. You will be okay! Keep advocating for yourself!
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