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scaredhuman

Have some questions for you guys (sorry long)

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I’ve been trawling through this forum and seems like you guys are really helpful – not sure who’s active anymore but anyway I have some questions. Sorry it's long, if you’re feeling helpful but not up to reading then skip to the end :-) 

I’m 20 and developed HPPD from LSD maybe 13/14 months ago. Light tracers, afterimages, visual snow, seeing colours etc. It caused me a bit of anxiety towards the beginning but it must have been very mild because it hardly bothered me at all. I could’ve very easily lived with it. I did MDMA multiple times in the following year, and some coke and keta, none made any difference to my HPPD, so I just linked it to LSD (wasn’t sure what it was really).

Just over a month ago I had mushrooms for the first (and LAST) time. Trip was extremely intense, I passed out and then it was like I’d woken up in another galaxy, but not a terrible experience like some you hear. About a week later I woke up with insane visuals, everything moving around, colours vibrant, people’s faces looked pink and yellow. I was vomiting and could hardly stand up. I felt like my life had ended, like I was no longer myself at all. I was seeing through a fish eye lens, my voice wasn’t my own, everything was moving around me like on a boat (I also have sea sickness so that didn’t help haha), brain fog, paranoia, crippling anxiety, muscle spasms and pain.

Im lucky enough to have a psych ive been seeing for the last 5 years so had that support. I found out a lot of the non-visual symptoms were anxiety-related (brain fog, muscle spasms, paranoia, and some worsening of visuals). I actually still feel as sharp as ever, just distracted by my visuals a lot of the time. My anxiety hasn’t been as bad, I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression before so that part I can handle.  

It’s the fucking DP/DR that gets me, have never experienced it before and its hell. It got so bad I thought I was in a virtual reality simulator and my memories were all fake. And the visuals are definitely the cause – how could I not feel like things are fake if everything looks fake? I’ve been very up and down in managing it since then but still functioning, seeing friends, doing uni work, trying to get out and do things, exercise, I already ate pretty healthy.

 

Symptoms now: everything permanently looks like a mild acid/mushroom trip, covered in very heavy static, nothing looks solid, colours very vibrant and stuff moves in my peripheral vision, and sort of wobbles in and out of shape when I look at it (with all the afterimages, light trails etc. but I was already sort of okay with that stuff and can deal with it), and DP/DR. I am feeling depressed but that I can deal with.

 

So my questions are: do your visuals (the static in particular) ever fade away or will I just have to get used to them?

 Or as it’s been just over a month since it got really bad, is it worth having Klonopin, Sinemet or Keppra now or should I wait?

I was thinking sinemet could be worth a try, even though it hasn’t done much to a lot of people, it seems to have the least side effects and I want my DP/DR to go away.

Or should I just get some Klonopin for the days when it gets really bad?

 

Very luckily my dad’s a doctor and completely believes me and is willing to prescribe me anything I think will help. (I live in Australia and have heard it’s hard to get it recognised at all here)

 

Sorry for the long ramble and thank you so much to whoever replies <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I had my hppd first symptoms 2 month after a giant shroom trip when i was 18. Same intensity.

One afternoon later, i was outside with friends, and the change of light between clouds and sun, triggered a memory of that trip.

I went exactly into the same reality melting experience you describe. maybe a little less intense.

It will all calm down, don't worry. just go with it. but my vision never really came back normal. and i'm like super sharp in my mind, but foggy at the same time, strange.

Like super intelligent...in a bit of an autistic way...

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My visuals never went away.  However. They're really the only symptom I still have.  Well, not exactly.  Sometimes, usually after exercising, I get those moments where I stare at the floor, the visuals start, and the space (mental and physical) sort of bends.  During these brief moments, I feel totally detatched.  Fortunately, I can just snap myself out of it.  The remnants of DP/DR I guess.

Understand that my visuals are probably permanent because I dosed so often for years.  Yours may fade if you stay clean.

As for medication, I've never taken any so I can't comment on that.

Hang in there and take care.

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Thanks so much for responding guys

11 hours ago, olivier24445 said:

I had my hppd first symptoms 2 month after a giant shroom trip when i was 18. Same intensity.

One afternoon later, i was outside with friends, and the change of light between clouds and sun, triggered a memory of that trip.

I went exactly into the same reality melting experience you describe. maybe a little less intense.

It will all calm down, don't worry. just go with it. but my vision never really came back normal. and i'm like super sharp in my mind, but foggy at the same time, strange.

Like super intelligent...in a bit of an autistic way...

It's good to hear from someone else who got it from mushrooms cause I'm not sure how many people on here have - it's weird to see posts from people saying mushrooms may cure it???)

And I think we all are must be a bit different to have our brains effected in this way

 

1 hour ago, MadDoc said:

My visuals never went away.  However. They're really the only symptom I still have.  Well, not exactly.  Sometimes, usually after exercising, I get those moments where I stare at the floor, the visuals start, and the space (mental and physical) sort of bends.  During these brief moments, I feel totally detatched.  Fortunately, I can just snap myself out of it.  The remnants of DP/DR I guess.

Understand that my visuals are probably permanent because I dosed so often for years.  Yours may fade if you stay clean.

As for medication, I've never taken any so I can't comment on that.

Hang in there and take care.

Thanks and I'm glad you've 'beaten' DP/DR in that way

I've only had LSD one time and mushrooms one time and both were the times that I developed mild HPPD, then made it far worse

I don't know, just feeling very low as the last few days my static's been getting worse - but it's only been a month so guess I just have to keep pushing through

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I'm currently experimenting many nootropics, lion's mane , so far is the best to land your feet back on earth. I think the first month of HPPD are the ones with the best chance of full recovery. After, your brain rewire himself differently.

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27 minutes ago, olivier24445 said:

I'm currently experimenting many nootropics, lion's mane , so far is the best to land your feet back on earth. I think the first month of HPPD are the ones with the best chance of full recovery. After, your brain rewire himself differently.

Thanks, just ordered some online!

Have you ever tried Oxiracetam? It says those two go well together

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This has been something I have always heard about and actually experienced.  A good friend of mine told me when I was young that if you took mushrooms and fell asleep (or suppose passed out) that "it would really fk you up".  Those were his words.  He meant it and he had seen cases of this.  I had experienced this later accidentally (luckily on a low dose).   But that is sort of an issue unto itself that sort of sub-clinical doses of psilocybin/mushrooms have a strange effect that sort of can put you in a longer term purgatory of sorts.  This is less of the case with LSD.  What they call microdosing LSD has merit.  

Anyway, back to what I am saying, this was always the advice I was given: never go to sleep on shrooms or before onset.  The only way I can describe it is in abstract and perhaps semi-scientific terms.  Certain people have very vivid dreams, other people couldn't remember a single dream if they tried.  But regardless, when sleeping, a person enters into a realm completely subconscious.  So an analogy I would make would be if you take shrooms and you are conscious, you know you have potential the psychedelic "scuba gear" to go into the depths of your subconscious and perhaps get yourself in a Houdini act and then try to get yourself out while learning something.  But if you wake up hours after taking the drug you are like if you woke up 100ft in water with O2 running out and chained to a block of concrete.  If you aren't expecting that, the existential implications are intense.   

Edited by mgrade

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9 hours ago, mgrade said:

This has been something I have always heard about and actually experienced.  A good friend of mine told me when I was young that if you took mushrooms and fell asleep (or suppose passed out) that "it would really fk you up".  Those were his words.  He meant it and he had seen cases of this.  I had experienced this later accidentally (luckily on a low dose).   But that is sort of an issue unto itself that sort of sub-clinical doses of psilocybin/mushrooms have a strange effect that sort of can put you in a longer term purgatory of sorts.  This is less of the case with LSD.  What they call microdosing LSD has merit.  

Anyway, back to what I am saying, this was always the advice I was given: never go to sleep on shrooms or before onset.  The only way I can describe it is in abstract and perhaps semi-scientific terms.  Certain people have very vivid dreams, other people couldn't remember a single dream if they tried.  But regardless, when sleeping, a person enters into a realm completely subconscious.  So an analogy I would make would be if you take shrooms and you are conscious, you know you have potential the psychedelic "scuba gear" to go into the depths of your subconscious and perhaps get yourself in a Houdini act and then try to get yourself out while learning something.  But if you wake up hours after taking the drug you are like if you woke up 100ft in water with O2 running out and chained to a block of concrete.  If you aren't expecting that, the existential implications are intense.   

Well I passed out due to being too drunk so I'm sure that was a terrible way to take psilocybin mushrooms and can't comment at all about the dreams, I'd pretty much forgotten even having taken the mushrooms when I woke up in a complete other dimension-like trip

Funnily enough I actually felt a lot better for the few days after than I had in ages, felt like I'd worked some stuff out I'd needed to, then the HPPD hit and completely flipped - and did feel like i was in a dream-state or sort of purgatory

Wish I'd been as knowledgeable as you are/in a good state at the time

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