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mgrade

The Long and Winding Road

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Oliver Sacks said hallucinations are just part of the human experience. But it disturbs me when I think of a man like John Nash who was a genius completely halted in his tracks. Though, I can't imagine reading a Somerset Maugham book while listening to Leonard Cohen.  I talked on the phone for decent amount of time (a few years ago) with Dr. A.  He said people who suffer from HPPD are a sort of an odd group of people. I'm still not exactly sure what he meant. 

Nevertheless, this world is changing at a rapid pace.  There is a great disparity between the rate of technological growth and the rate of human growth.  The very thing that is profound about the psychedelic experience is that time stands still for a moment.  You can sit on a bench and watch businessmen hurry off late for a meeting.  And you wonder what is so important? The world is not going to be solved; and taking a jackhammer to Lao Tzu's "What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly" is a giant waste of time.  People who are negatively affected neurologically  by a chemical not only reach an Ego-Death but often a Spiritual- or Sacred-Death. 

 

Most people just think or scheme about things business related or moving up the ladder in socio-political manners.  But most people dont ponder or contemplate or reflect or dream, in what I find a normal way of being.  Sure, some of these yuppies or failed-idealism baby boomers might go to a yoga class or try meditation, etc.  But they dont get it.  You cant reach deep spiritual planes if you are slimy.  Slimy is not what youve done, but the "way" you think.  Here you can see a direct syllogistic correlating chronology between Carl Rogers, Abraham Maslow and James Fadiman, Slanislav Grof and Leary.  Socially you can see it from Socrates, Nietzsche, Bukowski to Robert Anton Wilson, George Carlin, and Eckhart Tolle.

 

There is a greater good but it is not for the group; it is only for you; it is only for you to be love; it is only for you to spread it.

 

Thank you

Edited by mgrade

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You can choose also to see a mystical side in HPPD.

Somehow, like you have one foot still stuck out of the "Matrix" out in the spiritual (death) world. 

I remember once a show where a saw a shaman talking about it and curing it.

 

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These spheres perched on our shoulders are our reality interpretation devices.  They're a biochemical unit that somehow allows us interpret reality well enough to survive.  For some reason they're amazingly overbuilt.  Technology changes fast, information comes in at a flood, and we still manage.  What I found so fascinating about psychedelics was I could look into my own mind and examine what made me, "me".  Mental  spelunking for lack of a better term.   Granted, what I interpreted in that state was not reality.  The point is that my brain allowed this.  Is it just a flaw in the software, or is there a biological imperative for having this functionality?  Some have referred to this as "crawling up one's own ass" and perhaps they're right. 

Because we are human, we are flawed.  This includes our interpretation of reality.  People who have never used drugs experience things that simply don't exist in a physical context.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that long term psychedelic use burned in this kind of response in my case.  As I used to say years ago, reality is up for grabs.

Thank you for enduring my babble.

Oliver Sacks was an excellent writer and a great mind.

Edited by MadDoc
Foolish typing

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Humans can "manage" technology at the moment.  But only time will tell.

 

If I told you in 1970 that Nixon would try to rig the election in the future, or in the 1980s that in the future Donald Trump would in fact be president, you would say I am irrational and that I would certainly have a pessimistic view of the future. 

 

Orwell, Bradbury, Huxley, Asimov, A.C. Clark, Verne, etc. are not too far off.

 

The competitive or capitalist view of society is sort of like conservation of energy.   For the socio-capitalists can't find spirituality, they need to take it from someone else.  They at some point realize it is far more valuable than social power or influence.  But that sort of sacred energy does not just suddenly appear in the psychopath or the businessman.  They need to sort of "destroy" it in someone else to obtain it. 

 

But at the end of the day the spiritually strong will only spread light and the businessman shall remain exposed, and devoid of light.

Edited by mgrade

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5 hours ago, MadDoc said:

These spheres perched on our shoulders are our reality interpretation devices.  They're a biochemical unit that somehow allows us interpret reality well enough to survive.  For some reason they're amazingly overbuilt.  Technology changes fast, information comes in at a flood, and we still manage.  What I found so fascinating about psychedelics was I could look into my own mind and examine what made me, "me".  Mental  spelunking for lack of a better term.   Granted, what I interpreted in that state was not reality.  The point is that my brain allowed this.  Is it just a flaw in the software, or is there a biological imperative for having this functionality?  Some have referred to this as "crawling up one's own ass" and perhaps they're right. 

Because we are human, we are flawed.  This includes our interpretation of reality.  People who have never used drugs experience things that simply don't exist in a physical context.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that long term psychedelic use burned in this kind of response in my case.  As I used to say years ago, reality is up for grabs.

Thank you for enduring my babble.

Oliver Sacks was an excellent writer and a great mind.

I suppose you could say that.

It all is about Humanistic Psychology (and Humanistic Psychology at its best!).  Maslow's Pyramid.  Once you are fed etc. and basic physical needs are met, rise up in sacred.  But notice the top of the pyramid does not include ripping people off, greed, sanctimony, extortion, throwing around socio-political power-weight, slumlords, etc.

As far as contemplating Raijin, choose from  Socrates or Harry S. Truman.

Edited by mgrade

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On 4/24/2018 at 2:40 AM, olivier24445 said:

You can choose also to see a mystical side in HPPD.

Somehow, like you have one foot still stuck out of the "Matrix" out in the spiritual (death) world. 

I remember once a show where a saw a shaman talking about it and curing it.

 

Go on........

Can you find the show again??

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^ its like being stuck in some limbo where there are no transitions and everything blurs into one another, and one sees the world from a different angle

 

 

I managed to come all the way back. thru holistic medicine, cbt, hypno therapy, gabapentin, klonopin, (I even did drugs which I highly dont recommend), different types of therapies, meds, meditation, yoga, green tea, contemplation, journaling, and other things. I'm gonna write a whole column on this, I'm just recovering from the residual effects of coming back from something so harsh

 

ide say people with HPPD are masters of perception. after  coming from this disease, I still maintain the perception.

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Im at like having DP from 9-21. Having DR from 26-33. I am starting to get it again. And they refuse to medicate me properly because the pdocs dont understand i have 25 years being on these psychotropic drugs; my first hand experience with these drugs is profound. They wont listen. Ive been studying psychpharm for near 10 years. The docs are tied into Social Security and Social Services, the state capital, snd insurance.

Ive had HPPD since 2007.  Ive had ADD since '94.  Depression clinical since '98.  Generalized anxiety and panic disorder since 1999. 

And now Im being gangstalked. Because i hold radical views and i am educated and am deemed a threat. The Citizen Corps, and Infragard, FBI, DHS fusions, TSA and CATs, ex military security,  all the way down to volunteer fire companies, are laying waste to me. Mainly in the form, Im guessing, 2hz-6hz or 300mhz-300ghz. Straight Directed Energy Electromagnetic Weaponry with the veil of No-Touch population control emergency management, gaslighting in accordance with multilayered neo-Phoenix program.

They probably have me on the Thompson Reuter World-Check list.

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On 4/25/2018 at 4:14 PM, LethargicAcid said:

^ its like being stuck in some limbo where there are no transitions and everything blurs into one another, and one sees the world from a different angle

 

 

I managed to come all the way back. thru holistic medicine, cbt, hypno therapy, gabapentin, klonopin, (I even did drugs which I highly dont recommend), different types of therapies, meds, meditation, yoga, green tea, contemplation, journaling, and other things. I'm gonna write a whole column on this, I'm just recovering from the residual effects of coming back from something so harsh

 

ide say people with HPPD are masters of perception. after  coming from this disease, I still maintain the perception.

Id say were definitely masters of suffering.

On 4/24/2018 at 2:40 AM, olivier24445 said:

You can choose also to see a mystical side in HPPD.

Somehow, like you have one foot still stuck out of the "Matrix" out in the spiritual (death) world. 

I remember once a show where a saw a shaman talking about it and curing it.

 

Bro can you please respond? Can you please post the video of the shaman or try to find it or give more details?

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Yeah well the Phoenix program is the order that is limiting free will, causing pain and cognitive defects.  EMF weaponry on US citizens damaging thalamus, hypothalamus, hippocampi, and pigmented nuclei and a means to engage in population control in "emergences", a eugenics ideal with family in mind and to "save money, to save the planet", irrespective of the trillions spent on defence and exUS funded terror groups.  This still goes on, ie Syria. 

 

I would do virtually anything in my power to help you especially if I had a panacea.  You and I both know the endless research we have done to not only help ourselves and each other but to help everybody in this community; spaced as we can be ultimately we are a tight community, who has a deep level of compassion and basically ...love. 

This is a grueling condition, one which we seem to know a lot about and first hand to boot.

I have discovered I in fact am a targeted individual.  Someone who is stalked by community groups such as Chamber of Commerce to Local Emergency Units.  I have been working as a journalist for a local paper and in fact covered a story involving local public work's connection to the DHS, in most cases via Fusion centers.  When I say DHS, i dont mean foremen and flagmen for the most part; we are talking about Engineers, Accountants, ('Infrastructure Managers') and ultimately the direct coordination with business vs. Radical political agendas that may pose a threat to that (one example of this coordination is Infragard. But on the local level we talk about local fire, enforcement, etc. Community Posses, CATs, Leadership groups, and ultimately a wholly arbitrary and capricious violation of personal data, extreme damage done to members of US citizenry often irreversible and executing fascist agendas of non lethel to lethel population control and eugenics and organized crime, suppression of thought and action through political means in its mildest and Electromagnetic no touch weapons at the more advanced, banning of books, censorship, lives destroyed by COINTELPRO, and the outlandish truth of US military bases and US "lily pad" bases, that make it impossible to avoid.  The reality is there are probably high thousands numbers of these places: bases including lilypads and historical naval posts).  All they know is rank and order.  But now they pick and choose kids from MIT etc. to support their cause. 

Edited by mgrade

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My days are pretty numbered.

 There are several places in Europe where I can have a psychiatric euthanasia.

The symptoms are intense both physical and psychiatric.  Despite all of what i can do, I am going through nonstop brain zaps from not being on enough SSRIs, my back wont go out of spasm, i cant concentrate, my memory capacity is extremely poor, i cant remember numbers past 3 digits for longer that 20 seconds.  

 

I have little to no contact with my family.  They want nothing to do with me.  Im surrounded suddenly by an evil evil community.   One i would avoid like the plague prior to me coming here. 

The back pain and years of psychosis and hallucinations have done me in. 

 

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Hang in there mate, it sounds like you might be coming off the SSRIs too quickly, without a proper taper? PM me if you want to chat.

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No, Jay.

I was put in a situation where my meds needed upward adjustment. My meds have not changed in 5 years with the exception of klonopin from 3 to 2 to 3 to 2. 

This is a verrrry complicated, bizarre situation here.  With my father a doctor for 50 years, DAs, pdoc, pharmacies,  state health, ritual abuse etc. 

Ive been on these meds for about 20-25 years.

__________________

Im not getting off the meds in the slightest.  I actually need to up the meds. 

 

Edited by mgrade

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