Henkneedshelp

Hppd and some advice needed

5 posts in this topic

Hi guys,

Im writing this after a week of research done about hppd on google. I couldn't find much about. But the reason i'm ending up here is because i need some advice.

So a bit more then a week ago i took ecstasy for the first time. I took 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later i took 1/4 again. I didn't feel too much about the "high". It feelt good and dance all night. When i walked came out of the club (7am) my vision was bit blurry (probably because of being in a dark club all night). Then I went home and my parents were awake. Someone told me to look into light to hide dilated pupils so i did. 

Now the next morning i was scared i damaged my brain so i went online and searched the internet. At somepoint i stumbled across hppd. I immediately got scared i had this so i checked if i had any of the symptoms. 

Since i read about hppd i have the "visual snow" all the time, except for when I'm busy with other things. but for the last week I've been obsessing about the visual snow a lot.

I see a bit of a glare around lights but im not sure if i had that before. 

Some lights have a starshape

I have after images only when i look to bright lights for a few seconds and the after images dont last long.

That's about all the symptoms i have.  I don't seem to have walls morph into shapes or anything. I also don't have any of the depersonalition or derealization nor do i have depression. 

Now my real question do I have hppd? 

I have OCD so i had anxiety before i did the drug and because of OCD i tend to obsess about a lot of issues, health or other. 

Also i want to mention that I have done cannabis and alcohol before and since i have my symptoms i tried it once and it didn't seem to worsen the symptoms during the "high" of cannabis or alcohol. 

I might be overthinking this but some advice would be appreciated. 

Thank you,
Henkneedshelp

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Hello.  So, you only took MDMA that one time?  Do you have a history of taking psychedelics?  If that's the only time you dosed, then that's good news.  Some of your symptoms sound hppd like and some of them sound like normal visual imperfections  (star like shape when looking at lights). You may just be noticing the after effects of your chemical experience which should resolve fairly quickly.  I would stop taking psychoactive drugs including cannabis for a while, several months at least, six would be better.  After being clean for a while, see how you're doing.  Try to keep focused and don't spend lots of time examining each possible symptom.  Of course, the best way to avoid hppd or to keep it from getting worse is to avoid chemical entertainment altogether.

Please understand that I have no medical training and I'm not an expert on this disorder.  I'm just an old guy who's had it for a long time.

Take care.

Edited by MadDoc
Foolish typing
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Considering you got the typical HPPD symptoms from only one session of MDMA, I'd say stick to cannabis and alcohol.

If I were you, I'd really take this as a warning sign.

Do not do like a lot of us, thinking : Oh it's fine, it will go away and I'll do MDMA again (or any other psychedelic/hallucinogenic drug for that matter, especially LSD).

You are starting do get HPPD symptoms after you used a drug which isn't really hallucinogenic itself, unlike LSD or shrooms. Imagine what would happen with LSD ?

Please do not take any other drugs apart from weed and alcohol. I'm really serious about it. Alcohol and weed are still very fun drugs. Stick only to them. Because once you get to HPPD level, I can GUARANTEE you that weed will totally suck. Crazy hallucinations (at least for me) and anxiety. You won't be able to binge on it like you used to.

So yeah, do what you want, I'm not your dad. If you want to take the drug again, I won't be able to stop you. Only your mind will be able to.

And as MadDoc said, quit everything for a while, let your brain get back to normal. Also, star shape lights (aka starbusting) is normal. It does get exacerbated with HPPD though.

And try distracting yourself as soon as you start thinking about visual snow. The more you think about it, the worse it gets.

Would be nice if you could keep us posted on this.

Take care.

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Hey guys,

Thanks for answering.  

To MadDoc:

Yes its the only drug i have taken besides weed and alcohol. And only once. for weed and alcohol i only do that once or twice a week even before this. 

I used weed a few days ago to see what would happen as i read that it worsens it for a lot of people but for me it didnt make anhthing worse. Not even the morning after  (which gives me hope still gonna stay clean for a while.)

The only thing thats got me worrying more is that i got a bieping sound in my ear (tinnitus i think ita called) and it showed up randomly. and hasnt gone. I only here it when its really silent or when i focus on it. But during the times i want to sleep its quite annoying...

Also i dont really have a good sleeping ryhtme which might make recovery slower (atleast thats what i thought). So im gonna improve that and see if it gets better.

 

To dayum_son:

Dont worry i took this as a warning sign and decided right away to never do drugs again. Ill keep enjoying a good beer and joint once in a while but for now ill stay clean for a bit. 

Ill keep you updated once in while as well.

i wish you both the best as it seems you both got sever hppd.

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Thanks for the update ! I'm sorry to hear about your tinnitus, I hope that it will go away, and probably will.

Bad sleep cycle happens frequently after MDMA. 

MDMA depletes your serotonin levels. Serotonin is responsible for many things like appetite, mood and sleep.

So when your serotonin is a bit down, for some ppl it makes them have bad sleep cycles.

For some (like me), it makes them sleep like a small child ^^.

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    • By Henkneedshelp
      Hey guys.

      Im 19 and last weekend (4 days ago) i used ecstasy for the first time. I took less then 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later 1/4 again. At most it was half a pill (not tested, i know thats really stupid). 

      I have done weed before but between every smoke there was about 1 to 2 weeks break.

      Now my questions is do i have hppd?
      The moment i woke up the next day of taking ecstasy i was scared that something was wrong with me. I had some blurred vision and a bit of a headache. So i started looking online and found out about HPPD. Now i am trying to see if i have the symptomsbthey discribe and guess what? i do have some of the symptoms.

      I have the visual snow one but only if i focus on it but yea its still scaring me.

      I do have afterimages but only when i look in really bright lights and itbonly stays for 0.5 second. 

      And some bright car light have like this star shape but i think i had that as a child aswell.

      So yeah what do you guys think?

      I also want to mention that during the trip i didnt halucinate so im not sure if i eveb can get hppd without having halucinated. And the trip was good.

      The thing im most scared about is that i will never be able to drink a beer and smoke weed again. (i read that people with hppd cant to that anymore cause it increase the symptoms).

      What i dont have is things morphing in stuff and i dont halucinate. I dont feel disconnected with myself.

      Am i overthinking stuff or what?

      Thanks for reading,
      Henkneedshelp