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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
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Primeartco

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Hello people . I’m new to this website and idk how active it is here but I just wanted to tell my story as short as possible. I first started taking LSD at age 16. At age 18 I had my last LSD trip. Not knowing it was going to be my last. That last trip was different. It wasn’t bad or it wasn’t good . It was different. But that same day I had smoked once it started to go away. And I was driving and all of a sudden I lost connection to reality . It was scary. And I didn’t know what it was . A week later I had this flashback. And it tripped me out. That night I woke up at 3 am in the morning to thunder and rain . When I woke up I felt scared. I thought I was feeling that way cause of the thunder. I’m a painter and I have this painting of a fish I did on my wall. I remember looking at it and it looked different . I got out of bed and I went to the bathroom and I saw myself in the mirror and I just felt very very off . And I knew something wasn’t right . I was fucking terrified. I went to my parents room and took a shower in a bathroom they had in they’re room. I remember showering and all the thoughts going thru my head . I felt as if I wasn’t in reality same time I knew this had to do something with my constant taking of LSD. I got out and I slept in my parents room on the floor. I was a 18 year old. Sleeping in my parents room cause I was tripping bad . I had to . My little brother was already sleeping on the floor so I slept near him literally grabbing on to his foot while sleeping cause I needed to feel like I had someone normal connected to me so I can stay sane. I didn’t say anything about what I was feeling. Idk how but I fell asleep . I woke up the next morning and that was day one of HPPD. Everything was different . Everything. My life flipped...... that was a year ago. October 28, 2016. And till this day I still have it . It has its ups and downs . And my answer to it is to stay bright, stay sharp, love yourself and love others. Keep yourself busy and please stay sober. Spread the word. 

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Keeping busy helped me.  Focus, be it a hobby, work, reading, meditation (now, you knew I'd throw that in there), or whatever.  Keep the mind focused and never stop learning.  You're a painter!  What a wonderful creative outlet!

I took psychedelics basically non-stop for over 6 years.  At times, I dosed for weeks at a time.  The first year after I stopped was difficult.  I started dosing as a kid just shy of my 14th birthday.  It took time to relearn how to be a normal enough to functon in society.  Stay clean and you should start to readjust.  I also felt a deep depression when I quit.  Part of that was due to the fact that I could never go back to psychedelics.  It had been my constant companion for a long time.  I missed that psychedelic "place".  Don't make the mistake I did by drinking too much.  I spent the better part of my 20s drinking.  I was functional and accomplished a lot, but drinking delayed dealing with a lot of issues.

I'm approaching 60 and still have visuals (open eyed only) but life is wonderful and I'm happy.  Keep fighting, never give up!

Edited by MadDoc
Foolish typing

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It gets better. I was dosed without my knowledge for almost ten years as a child. HPPD was hell at first, but a few lifestyle changes and some support from family has changed my life. I feel much better today even with a few (though much less severe) HPPD symptoms. Stay away from mind altering substances, eat a healthy diet, and train your mind to recognize what's happening when you have symptoms and react accordingly. Recognize that these symptoms cannot really hurt you and a more emotionally draining than anything. Understand that your mind is not broken and you still have your grasp of reality. 

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