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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
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thelostreceptor

Introduction, do I have pre-HPPD or HPPD?

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Hello everyone, I've been reading this forum for a good while and it has been a rich information source for me. I'm currently 21 years old, living in the Netherlands and still studying. My life changed in a weird way after getting addicted to drugs. Since 1.5 years I'm walking around with weird health complaints and only since a few months I started discovering what might be wrong with me.

My symptoms include: tinnitus, visual snow, depression and derealisation, concentration problems and foggy memory. I don't have trails, afterimages or halo's.

The symptomps suddenly appeared 1.5 years ago after an incident when I ingested a substance cocktail, consisting of MDMA, 4-FA and 3-MMC. It wasn't a bad trip but ever since that day my symptoms have been present and haven't fade. I clearly remember the onset of my visual snow and the emotional numbness has been strong since. I haven't used hallucinogens

Would you say, this could be HPPD or a less intense version of it? Since I don't experience any vision hallucinations except for visual snow it wouldn't be HPPD, but on the other hand all of the other symptoms seem to connect to the disorder.

My respect is with those that are fully affected by the disorder having many of the symptoms. Life must be though for you sometimes.

Thanks for reading my story :)

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Hey bro, the symptoms that you related are all by HPPD... Hallucinations isn't Common but snow vision is. I'm bad for the news... But you have HPPD. Be strong. 

 

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My first symptoms were visuals.  I would notice them when i smoked cannabis around the time i started dosing.  Understand that cannabis back the was quite mild compared to what's available today.  I've never had visual snow.  Also, I didn't have extreme anxiety that many have described.  What I'm trying to say is that hppd is a spectrum disorder.  You may have some of the symptoms but they may not be what others experience.

Advice, stay away from psychoactive substances including cannabis.  Give it some time.  Symptoms can fade but they fade slowly.  Don't panic!  If you have this disorder you can live a full and happy life.  I can't stress enough though, no chemicals!  

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Thanks for the replies :) Concluded that I have HPPD. I've been improving my lifestyle, and we bought a sauna at home which I frequently use. It helps me feel strong and having peace with my condition.

What happened with me? I used to be a very sensitive and caring person, but now it feels like I'm all flattened out. I haven't felt real happiness since the start of my HPPD. Is it derealisation? It makes me sad, I can't relate to loved ones around me or enjoy the good things in my life. I don't care about my vision, I just really want to feel a little myself again.

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We change as we move through life.  Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down.  At 21 a lot of things can change.  New responsibilities, new stress, new adventures.  What you're experiencing might simply be due to a healthier lifestyle.  It can take a while for the brain to re-level.  What helped me was getting sober, getting focused, setting goals, and moving forward with life.  I still have visuals after all these years but I feel lucky for every day I have on this planet.

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