I did mescaline two or three times when I was 16 years old but never again.
No visuals or anything like that, I just had a great times laughing and hanging out with friends without feeling sleepy.
Recently I tried DMT but no breakthroughs or visuals, everything just got really strange and beautiful.
Below you will find some interesting things that happend to me while NOT taking any drugs which lead me to want to try DMT at this point in my life.
Strange episode #1
At the age of 17 I was playing tempest at the Pizzeria, a game I was never really good at, in fact, I was never really good at any video game, but suddenly I was the best Tempest player ever.
People piled into the Pizzeria and gathered around me because no one had ever been able to play as long as I did. Everyone was excited for me and talking about it.
What I saw as I played the game was that I could easily see some sort of pattern and that the game was no longer a challenge, I had 3 lives, and I saw clearly that I could play forever.
I became convinced that it must have been a bug in the game software because it was just too easy, so I asked one of the kids I knew to be a very good player to take over. As I walked away I heard three explosions. He did not last a minute. So it was real. I felt very strange and I looked into a mirror on the wall and I noticed my pupils were gigantic and my ears were red.
As I sat down I noticed something else, I felt as I had this increased understanding of everyone around me and a feeling of love for everyone.
It was like some sort of enlightenment that allowed me to see how people felt inside.
I stayed there for hours and strangers seemed to be drawn to me and it was so easy to talk to everyone.
I went home and the next day I was back to my old self, shitty at video games and just a regular kid.
Strange episode #2
At the age of 20 I was laying down at around 1 in the afternoon when I noticed what looked like crop circles in 3-D, no colors, on my wall, as if bulging out of the wall.
They started appearing and changing slowly and then picked up an incredible amount of speed, thousands of shapes.
They disappeared, and then I saw sheep, deer, lamb, and other gentle animals laying next to me. They would appear and disappear all around me and I was not afraid.
After that, I saw flocks of tiny birds inches from my eyes, they looked the way birds look when they are really high in the sky, there was a fluidity in their motion, but they were right in front of me.
Next came spiders, coming down from the ceiling and now I was getting scared. I could not move for all this time until now, and I sat up and the spiders were still there for about 30 seconds and then disappeared.
Fast forward...I am 51 years old. Nothing like what I described ever happened again but I definitely had this feeling all my life that there was something within me that I had a glimpse of in the past and that I wanted to experience again. I have been reading about DMT for about 10 years now and I ordered some. I took a little bit but no break through and no visuals, I just noticed that things got a little strange. My friend took the same amount and although he smoked it with skepticism (fireworks in your mind he thought) he later told me there is another place he visits, the same place each time he smokes, he sees buildings and beings and he feels he is receiving information. He returns from these experiences telling me he has worried too much about meaningless crap all his life.
So now I purchased more DMT and a $350 mininail to make sure I do not burn the DMT, I am aiming to have an experience since up to now nothing has really happened for me. All this and today for the first time ever I hear of HPPD and now I am questioning if I should go forward with it as I am a concerned even though it is rare and seems to happen to people who use a lot of LSD and Shrooms.
Just hoping for some feedback from others. What did you take that caused HPPD? how much and how often before it affected you?
TL;DR I want to smoke DMT but I am afraid of HPPD. Has anyone here suffered from HPPD just by smoking DMT a few times and no other drugs?
----- This post is especially important for the Dutch guys out here on the forum -----
Recently I received a mail from Brijder Jeugd (rehab center) where they tell about a new upcoming research by a neurological department from a medical center about visual snow sufferers, and they're looking for people that want to participe in the research. This could be another opportunity to shred some light on the visual snow and HPPD. The research is targeted for Dutch people but I wouldn't hesitate contacting them in English if you're interested in the research. You can reach them by sending an e-mail to the address below:
If you're interested about the medical center, you can visit their website with the link below:
Leiden University Medical Center
Thanks for your time
Note: I'm not related to the LUMC in any way
A visit to the neurologist...
So i tried most nootropics legal on sale over the internet, and none of them really had effects on my 20 Yo HPPD .
I decided by then to see a proper neurologist to get a Keppra prescription.
Mine o mine, i forgot how some people are stupid and narrow minded about drugs...
So I picked up a random Neurologist on google map, nearby . After 45 days of wait (that's how long it take to have an appointment in Paris), I finally arrive to the long awaited appointment.
The guy seems like a regular doctor, in his 50's...So i started telling him, i had one of a teenagehood , and did drugs a few times (LSD, MDMA and did smoke cannabis).. Then i described the whole thing, and how it started, just after one single very light second LSD take...
Him : "Cut the crap" "what are you symptoms then".
Me : "I don't do any drugs since 25 years now, i have a very healthy lifestyle, still I have left some visual snow and trails which makes patterns like flash also"
Him : "Flash...You LSD don't really give flashback you know, it's in the movies"
Me : "I know that perfectly....I'm not making this up. That's not what i'm talking about".
I wait , and then he start to explain :
Him : "You may have a permanent damage to your optical nerves, we need a scan to see if we can do anything, but i'm very pessimistic".
Me : "mmmmmm.....really ? with LSD ????"
In fact , there is no way any drug , specially LSD can fry you optical nerve. So i start wondering what level of competence he had, regarding drugs, appart from saying, like most of common people, he heard of "Flashbacks stories"....
In the end, I figured out he was treating me in a very mean way, because of the "drug" topic, and because it made me look to him, like some kind of junkie, even if i look very normal and healthy...
I was telling him a very painful story and he was just rejecting me because the hallucinogen topic was taboo to him.
So I started telling him i doubted i had any damage of some sort, and then I pulled out the HPPD subject.
Off course, it was first news to him, and I saw his face starting to decompose right in front of me, as, it happened that i knew a little bit about neurology and brain chemistry in general.
The rest of the interview, i could feel he was ashamed of himself as I pulled out some medical reviews about the topic and what medication can be tried to help recovery.
Him : "I know I don't know everything, but i will try to learn and figure it out i guess, please forward me the doc in you possession "
Me : "That sound better, I'm sure many people do have this HPPD sickness and would be happy to be helped"
Him, (sweating) : yes yes, sure, i will review this documents and will get back to you asap.
Me : happy face, how much ? Oh 175$ ok there it is...
One week later.
I guess, he had second thoughts on how a good christian must treat people who used drugs once in their life.
I guess he sticked back to the "Good for you" he started with, after all.
I guess he must be happy this way.
I guess he wanted me to feel more sorry for myself because i did drugs once in a distant past.
At least, HPPD, did elevate me in a place where i know no one should be treated like that, ever. Where i know a good doctor should help his patients and listen to them whatever their story is.
Moral of the story : I made more research and found out a real HPPD specialist. I will not contact this B*¨*%* again to waste more of my time.
Be warned, there are doctors out there, happy to put the stigma on you, and happy to see your soul bleed because after all, "doing drugs is bad", while they prescribe drugs all the time to other patients, that sometimes, might also fuck their brain and health even more badly.
If you need help, don't listen to this doctors who want to bring doom and curse on you.
Stay positive. Hppd can be cured already for some people, and will be cured 100% some day.
"BPC-157 is a synthetic peptide that is being investigated for its regenerative effects. It shows high efficacy for rats suffering toxic or surgical trauma, but there is currently no evidence that it provides benefits for people."
I stumbled upon this peptide after browsing some websites and then I found reddit posts of users claiming that they cured their anhedonia. This substance does not mask symptoms like traditional drugs, but really has some sort of a healing mechanism that rapidly undoes damage from the dopamine system, with almost no side effects reported. This got my interest and I decided to try it out. Here are the results:
250mcg in the morning and 250mcg in the evening, administered with subcutaneous injections. So far I have used a total of 10mg in around 10 days, and I'm planning to do extra cycles in the future.
While injections offer the best bioavailability, it is reported that this substance is stable when taken oral. I cannot confirm this and I'd recommend to inject the substance, or use it sublingually (under the tongue). Subcutaneous injections are almost painless and you'll get used to it quickly.
I'm experiencing permanent benefits from this trial. In general I feel much calmer with myself and my mind is so much clearer. My sense of time has changed back to normal. It feels like the world around me is moving normal again and I can get more done. I'm even boring myself when I'm free. Before this trial I would be able to do a lot less in an hour and it felt like the time shifted faster, and it felt I couldn't get a hold of the world moving around me.
Cognitive functioning has improved a little, I mostly feel benefits from taking fish oil and I believe this substance has contributed to it Depersonalisation and derealisation has definitely improved. Most of the time, it doesn't even bother me and I feel more attached to myself My anhedonia has decreased, I didn't experience a huge improvement but it's still much better I feel generally less anxious - I haven't worried about my condition since My visuals have not changed in any way, but the substance helped me to handle them easier and they don't feel like a big annoyance anymore.
I did not experience any side effects, which is good. There is some research suggesting that it increases tolerance to amphetamine, but it hasn't been tested on humans.
I definitely recommend anyone with HPPD to try this substance. It might help you a lot with depersonalization and derealisation, as it did with mine.
I’m a first timer here and I really need some help with this. I did shrooms 3 times over a 3-4 week span, I dont remember the exact time period (this was a little over a month ago like in april). Im prescribed vyvanse which I take daily and the only other things ive done are drink and smoke weed. Anyways, after my last shroom trip everything was fine and i haven’t done it since but i do drink all the time. about two days ago i smoked weed for the first time in two months and i saw the letters on my phones keyboard dramatically wiggling and getting bigger and smaller while i was high. This has never happened to me before when i have smoked, I have only ever seen this when im on shrooms so this freaked me out because of what ive read on hppd. The next day I was watching tv and noticed that words on the screen were wiggling a little bit. Ever since then, every time I focus on a words or letters for too long, I see them subtly wiggling, it comes and goes and it has been improving over the past few days and its pretty much gone now. its nothing too bad and I wouldn’t notice it unless i really stare at them but im afraid it might get worse over time and I’m starting med school in two months. what makes this weird is that Ive read of hppd happening and then getting better shortly after a trip but my thing started a month after. The good thing is that I dont see static, visual snow, or any of that other stuff, just a subtle letter wiggling. I was thinking that i had it the whole time but i didnt notice until i smoked but what is weird is that i drink all the time and it never made it worse or even apparent at all to the point that i didnt notice I even had anything but weed did. Is it possible that weed may have triggered a mild form of hppd from previous shroom use? Also im prescribed vyvanse which i take every day and i have noticed that i dont see things wiggle when im on it, which is weird becuase Ive read everywhere that stimulants make it worse. What worries me is that I need Vyvanse for school and cant stop taking it and according to what I have read amphetamines worsen HPPD. Im not sure if I have it or not and since hppd is not very well understood im not sure whats going on. At such a critical point in my life this is kind of freaking me out so I would appreciate if those who may have experience with this kind of stuff would help shed some light on what is going on. I apologize if I sound dumb and don’t mean to disrespect those who truly have it but this is making me really nervouse and don’t know who else to ask. As far as when I smoked weed that time it was different than other times and I didn’t like that the letters kept getting bigger and smaller because weed doesn’t do that. Thank you for your help guys.