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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
Redsoccer24

Hppd or normal visual disturbance?

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Hey I'm new here, just signed up a couple weeks ago. I had a really bad trip on what I think was acid, liquid dropped from the vile on sour patch kids, didn't taste anything except the sour patch kids. It's been about 3 months since then and the first couple days afterward I felt intensely spiritually connected/enlightened and if I tried to drink alcohol it gave me intense anxiety. A little over a month ago drinking was fine again and if anything helped my symptom. I don't have visual snow or any of that, my only symptom is if I stare for 5-10 seconds at a carpet or ceiling or tile floor with simple patterns or just dots on it it will start to move left then right then left again then stop or if I readjust my eyes it stops. It only happens if I look for it. Wondering if this is hppd or anxiety or normal visual disturbance that I'm now noticing because I know wat to look for. I have complex ptsd and the previous trips up until that one were decently positive. 

Thanks in advance!

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Hard to say.  I'd suggest just staying clean for a while to see if it improves.  Not too much time has elapsed since your last dose.  Give your head some time to bounce back.   Also, getting an eye exam is never a bad idea.  Are you just seeing some motion or are patterns forming?  When I look at a surface designs, shapes, patterns start to form out of nothing.  That's me though, we're all different.

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I was diagnosed with mild nystagmus which I know wasn't something I had before the trip. It's kind of just the natural outlines of the pattern already on the texture comes out and lightly moves side to side for a couple seconds then stops. Definitely have to stare my way into a little trance tho lol for it to happen. If it's a ceiling with paint dots on it no pattern comes out the dots just move a little side to side. If I stare at the oven or my phone it doesn't happen ever. Just stuff with distinctive patterns, also a granite counter top I think does it slightly too

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Quick update, I've been taking cbd the last couple days, came off lithium which I started taking a little over a month ago, and had a 22oz beer and the visuals were completely gone. I stared at the wood grain table at outback and normally the dark parts of the grain would move a little side to side but it didn't no matter how long I stared. Weird but awesome. I'll take it

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Even before I had HPPD I was able to see patterned surfaces morph and swirl just by staring at them for a few seconds. I don't think the power of the mind can be understated -- if you're consciously looking for visuals, you'll often end up finding them (or synthesizing them subconsciously). 

My advice to you would be to try to break the habit of "testing" your vision and to stay away from HPPD forums. Reading about other people's symptoms and over-analyzing is a vicious cycle.

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Haven't replied because I took your advice eye. It's weird, if I stare at the grain on the wood or carpet or ceiling the natural patterns won't move if I think sentences while I'm staring. I'm starting to think I just got my bell rung pretty good and the anxiety of focusing in on it constantly allows me to notice what I probably would have naturally noticed anyway, especially now wat I know what to look for. 

Im thinking of trying weed again in moderate doses daily in a couple months because there was nothing like it to treat my c-ptsd. For now it's cbd oil which is an amazing thing I might add. Thanks for the responses so far guys I really appreciate it

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While weed always causes a bad reaction with me, if I have insomnia I use concentrated CBD oil.  For me, it works really well.  I fall asleep quickly, sleep deeply, and don't wake up groggy.  At one point in my life my doctor prescribed sleeping pills.  I took one and woke up feeling terrible.  I never took another. 

Edited by MadDoc
Foolish typing

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On 12.12.2017 at 5:31 PM, Redsoccer24 said:

Hey I'm new here, just signed up a couple weeks ago. I had a really bad trip on what I think was acid, liquid dropped from the vile on sour patch kids, didn't taste anything except the sour patch kids. It's been about 3 months since then and the first couple days afterward I felt intensely spiritually connected/enlightened and if I tried to drink alcohol it gave me intense anxiety. A little over a month ago drinking was fine again and if anything helped my symptom. I don't have visual snow or any of that, my only symptom is if I stare for 5-10 seconds at a carpet or ceiling or tile floor with simple patterns or just dots on it it will start to move left then right then left again then stop or if I readjust my eyes it stops. It only happens if I look for it. Wondering if this is hppd or anxiety or normal visual disturbance that I'm now noticing because I know wat to look for. I have complex ptsd and the previous trips up until that one were decently positive. 

Thanks in advance!

This is normal.

 

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Nice maddoc that's awesome. I just got my 90 capsules from green mountain cbd today, 20mg each. I like them so far. I'm going to go ahead and take what happened on that trip as a warning, I had my fun, and what I was looking for through its use turns out I already have inside. Good reassurance to stay away from it, because who knows what could happen next time. 

Piter I appreciate the response also. Your guys responses have helped reduce a lot of added stress I did not need. 

Every now and again I will "test" my vision and it's significantly improved, got an eye exam and retinal scan 20/20 everything normal. 

Rye, thankyou as well for your response. It's all greatly appreciated. 

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On 12/12/2017 at 8:42 PM, Rye said:

Even before I had HPPD I was able to see patterned surfaces morph and swirl just by staring at them for a few seconds. I don't think the power of the mind can be understated -- if you're consciously looking for visuals, you'll often end up finding them (or synthesizing them subconsciously). 

My advice to you would be to try to break the habit of "testing" your vision and to stay away from HPPD forums. Reading about other people's symptoms and over-analyzing is a vicious cycle.

Bingo.

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I’ve stayed away for a while now and it’s helped a lot. Sometimes I’ll ask ppl if the glow around a bright light at night is normal, or if the plus sign of varying degrees based of brightness/size of light is normal, and it’s always a yes. I just figured I’d come back and say I pretty well feel normal, 2nd guess myself sometimes, but pretty much normal. I remember jay or someone saying on another post there aren’t many success stories because when ppl get better they want to forget everything about this and stay away from the forum, or they realized it was mild and not a thing or just forget to come back to forum, so I wanted to say something. Because I feel pretty good and this experience has opened me up to some ptsd stuff I’ve needed to deal with for a while. Ur support has helped me drastically thank you for that too, I would still be wondering if I was fucked or not without ppl here

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I honestly disagree(to a degree) with the responses here, anxiety months following hallucinogen use definitely could signify potential neuropathic alterations. They may not be distinguished in the the most classical sense of HPPD, but it doesn't mean that changes haven't occurred.  I would above what most are saying in this thread advise you to definitely NOT use any hallucinogens again. You could very well be breaching in to the realm of HPPD, and trust me, you dont want to be here.

I do find it very weird that alcohol is giving you anxiety, especially if it has never done that before.

Do try to relax though and give it some time. Sounds like you're getting off pretty easy.

Edited by dasitmane

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Oh yeah, there is no way I’m touching any of that stuff ever again. Not even weed for a really long time if ever again. Alcohol actually stopped giving me anxiety a couple months ago. My reaction to it is normal now for sure. I think I took a good knock from acid and have taken some good lessons from it, but enough is enough and I have no intention of risking my sanity for one more trip. I’m working with an integrative/functional medicine doctor to restore my body to homeostasis n such

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