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paul_2017

HPPD and studying/ working

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Hello everyone.

I have been experiencing symptoms of HPPD for several months now, including constantly static-ky and sometimes distorted vision. I sometimes experience hallucinations, particularly when it is dark, which can be disturbing in nature. I also frequently have trippy visuals when closing my eyes, especially when trying to get to sleep. My dreams are also very vivid.

I imagine this will have been brought on mostly by use of LSD and mushrooms 10-12 times, and likely been made worse by use of other drugs like cannabis, MDMA, nitrous oxide, cocaine, ketamine, speed, salvia and kratom over the past couple of years.

This has all affected me quite severely in day to day life. I have experienced serious problems with my memory and ability to concentrate. When I look at a screen, I find it very difficult to focus due to static-ky vision and flashes of light as well. The result of this is that I am having to defer from university for a year. This is not a massive problem, as I have been on a year studying abroad, so returning home until I start the final year in September will not affect my degree grade.

That said, the fact that I am struggling to read, concentrate and retain information is a massive worry. This has not just been in academic work, but also in generally reading. I have also had serious trouble remembering more basic things like important details of conversations, things I have to do, football scores, etc.   

The fact I'm doing a course (Law) which is so heavily based around reading, essays etc is feeling very daunting to face in September with these symptoms. I failed the first quarter of this year, whereas I have been used to getting good grades.  

I do not feel that I am in a position to inform my university about this. I am also reluctant to tell any of my friends- either any of those who are current/ past drug users or those who have never used- for fear of sounding insane- which I might well be. Family are out of the question- after finding out I had smoked weed a 'couple' of times they went ballistic. 

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for this? Firstly regarding memory and concentration.

In addition, I wanted to ask if any members of this forum have had experience with HPPD and the NHS (UK healthcare system). Is HPPD a recognised condition? Is it worth visiting a GP/ or other doctor? Is there any help available from other services- drug addiction clinics etc?

Thanks in advance for any replies :)

Edited by paul_2017
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Same friend, I have trouble retaining information while I'm reading, I can read it, if I'm not paying attention I won't know what I read. I have to really close read to get a full understanding of what I read. 

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