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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
Cam1210

Thinking about dropping out of uni

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Hi everyone,

So the last couple of days, my anxiety and vs have gotten worse. In the month since I found out that I have HPPD my anxiety has been almost non-existent as a lot of the anxiety was caused by not knowing what was wrong with me. I think the spike in my anxiety and vs is down to the fact that I have had 3 essay deadlines to complete for this week and the following one. I have been exercising 5 days a week and eating the healthiest I ever have in my life. Also I have drunk alcohol once in the past month (in moderation) and it left me with no increased anxiety. So the only thing I can attribute this spike to is the stress of these deadlines. As I study history, I have to do a lot of reading (particularly on the computer) which is difficult and strains my eyes.

In the past couple of days, the idea of dropping out has crossed my mind because the stress after the Christmas break will get worse with more work and deadlines and also I want to be away from the drinking culture and drugs that are everywhere at uni in order to totally focus on trying to fully recover. I was wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and what they did? 

 

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Many years ago I went to a university for one year and ran for my life.  Understand, this was 1977 and drugs were everywhere.  I didn't have the maturity to control myself and I just went off the deep end.  If I could do it all over again, I'd stay in school and turn my back on the drugs and the drug culture.  Easy to say 40 years later, not so easy when I was 18.

That being said, I did end up going back to the university once I had sobered up and had gotten my sh*t together.  School can be very stressful.  Add on top of that an anxiety disorder and it can be really rough.  

I don't know if that helps but it's what I went through.  Leaving school can be a tough decision.  Does your university have any counseling services?  If so, it might be worth checking out.  

Edited by MadDoc
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Thank you for the reply MadDoc.

I have no intention of ever doing drugs again, but the drinking is what I'm struggling with the most. I enjoy drinking but having read threads on this forum, I feel as if I am putting myself at risk of a longer recovery if I continue to drink.

Although I don't really want to drop out of Uni as I would love to get a degree in a subject I love, I am just not enjoying Uni because of the stress of the work and the drinking and drug culture. Also, I miss my family and friends back home. If I was to drop out, there would be nothing stopping me from coming back when(if) I fully recover in a couple of years but I don't really want to start all over again. This is such a shit situation to be in!!!

My uni does have a counselling service so I will check that out and see if they can offer any advice.

Thank you for the advice MadDoc, it is much appreciated.

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Me again.  Drinking didn't make my hppd symptoms worse.  However, over time, my life became unmanageable.  I think I could have made better progress coping with this disorder if I didn't drink through my 20s.  As Homer Simpson says "alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems".  I probably didn't get the quote quite right, but you get the idea.  

Staying away from drugs is a wonderful decision.  At first they're mind expanding, fun, and an adventure.  Over time they turn into low grade entertainment.  By the time I was done dosing, I just didn't see the point in doing it anymore not to mention I was a wreck of a human.  

Hang in there.  All we can do is the best we can do.  

Edited by MadDoc
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