HPPD Worstening

[SeekingLife]

Hey guys, 

At first with HPPD, all I noticed was some slight balance/vertigo issues, but it's been evolving little by little. I had some bouts of DP/DR which I've overcome mostly, as in the world still looks slightly off but I feel mentally here, and I've noticed slight visual snow and entopic phenomena on pretty much every bright surface. These are things I can cope with. However, something that hasn't shown itself till yesterday and one I legitimately cannot take is CEV's. When I close my eyes and it's dark enough, I see full on scenes play out in my eyes. I was sitting in the library, trying to get some rest, and put my head into my arm and all of a sudden began seeing something like a DJ spinning a record, which then changed to some sort of politician speaking, and so on and so forth. I've noticed a recurring theme in most of these is that a good amount are sexual in nature, as well as some other stuff like screaming faces. In describing these "videos", it's almost like at first it's just normal blackness, and all of a sudden the blackness has depth to it, then shading, and then full on visuals. Occasionally, there will be some small red flashes that are pretty short-lived. They sometimes have color, but even the ones that do aren't super intense colors, just slight hues. They also play like shutter film, almost like stop animation, and this applies to every one. This shit makes my other symptoms pale in comparison, as now I don't even have a refuge from HPPD by closing my eyes. It's like I'm fully trapped, and can't even get to sleep normally. I've noticed that they also don't show when I have some light going into my eyes, but the thing is my whole life I've slept in full darkness. Today and yesterday I had this happen, and both days I didn't get much sleep at all, which may have something to do with it. Anyone, please, help me with this crap.

Edited October 28, 2017 by SeekingLife

[K.B.Fante]

In my experience heightened visuals have often traced back to whatever I'm putting into my body. Since I don't do drugs this usually amounts to food. You should obviously not be doing anymore drugs but if you're ingesting caffeine or some form of stimulant then your visuals will worsen. Perhaps try and cut back on sugar, carbs, fast food, and really make an effort to eat lots of veggies and then see how your visuals are in a week or so. 

[jeffy]

On 10/28/2017 at 6:46 PM, SeekingLife said:

Hey guys, 

At first with HPPD, all I noticed was some slight balance/vertigo issues, but it's been evolving little by little. I had some bouts of DP/DR which I've overcome mostly, as in the world still looks slightly off but I feel mentally here, and I've noticed slight visual snow and entopic phenomena on pretty much every bright surface. These are things I can cope with. However, something that hasn't shown itself till yesterday and one I legitimately cannot take is CEV's. When I close my eyes and it's dark enough, I see full on scenes play out in my eyes. I was sitting in the library, trying to get some rest, and put my head into my arm and all of a sudden began seeing something like a DJ spinning a record, which then changed to some sort of politician speaking, and so on and so forth. I've noticed a recurring theme in most of these is that a good amount are sexual in nature, as well as some other stuff like screaming faces. In describing these "videos", it's almost like at first it's just normal blackness, and all of a sudden the blackness has depth to it, then shading, and then full on visuals. Occasionally, there will be some small red flashes that are pretty short-lived. They sometimes have color, but even the ones that do aren't super intense colors, just slight hues. They also play like shutter film, almost like stop animation, and this applies to every one. This shit makes my other symptoms pale in comparison, as now I don't even have a refuge from HPPD by closing my eyes. It's like I'm fully trapped, and can't even get to sleep normally. I've noticed that they also don't show when I have some light going into my eyes, but the thing is my whole life I've slept in full darkness. Today and yesterday I had this happen, and both days I didn't get much sleep at all, which may have something to do with it. Anyone, please, help me with this crap.

Bro I feel you on that, somehow mine has basically completely gone away even tho I continue to do drugs including things like acid and shrooms. But when I close my eyes I do see flashes. Just remember that it could be worse. 

[Jay1]

On 28/10/2017 at 11:46 PM, SeekingLife said:

I've noticed a recurring theme in most of these is that a good amount are sexual in nature, as well as some other stuff like screaming faces.

This is a common theme with CEVs... I had this for several years. At it's worst was when I was heavily drinking, the scenes I would see can only be described as hellish. horrible morphing of corpses, torture, sex, walls of people screaming for help etc... Classic horror film stuff... Which leads to how I cured it. I stopped watching anything that would stain these images into my brain... horror films, hardcore porn etc

[SeekingLife]

On 10/30/2017 at 1:17 PM, Jay1 said:

This is a common theme with CEVs... I had this for several years. At it's worst was when I was heavily drinking, the scenes I would see can only be described as hellish. horrible morphing of corpses, torture, sex, walls of people screaming for help etc... Classic horror film stuff... Which leads to how I cured it. I stopped watching anything that would stain these images into my brain... horror films, hardcore porn etc

Jesus man, complete censorship is no way to live. I cut out drug use, drink alcohol occasionally, get as much sleep as I possibly can in college, and this shit happens? I appreciate the advice, but this is just too crazy of a lifestyle change for me, especially after one tab of acid. I seem to be pretty high up on the spectrum for symptoms considering my situation. Only done a handful of drugs in my life too as I'm freshly 18... Adderall, weed, alcohol, and acid. That's it. 

[Jay1]

it's hardly complete censorship... I've watched the walking dead again, lately, and the problem didn't reoccur... and i still watch plenty of non gore horror films. I think it;s the hardcore porn that might be the root, tbh. I'm not saying never look at vids of hot chicks or whatever... just the more extreme stuff.

Anyway, just my own personal fix for the problem. Might not even work for others.

[MadDoc]

I had intense CEVs. They weren't scary. Instead they were crazy twitted shapes and scenes that would twist and morph into other things. Very colorful as well.  I think it was the worst symptom because there was no escape.  When my eyes were open, I'd hallucinate, closed the crazy images.  However, my CEVS have basically dissapeared.  For a few months, instead of crazy images, I'd see symmetric circular designs that looked like a maze.  These would flicker.  Then those dissapeared.  I "sort of" have CEVS but they're like faint shadows and I have to "look" for them to "see" them at all.  Not perfect but I'll take what I can get.