So I’m at a pretty big low right now. I’d been abstaining from weed for months now, until a friend convinced me to try it again over december. Long story short it ended in me tripping out heavily with a ton of anxiety attached. Life got pretty strange for a bit after that but I learned to recuperate and was in a good place.
Now I’m back at college after break, and all of a sudden a week ago I noticed a certain patterned carpet at a dinner I was at and started tripping. I’d never tripped sober prior to this incident, and now a week later, today to be exact, I was sitting in class and noticed the pattern of the tiles on the floor and the ceiling panels and began to trip again. I try so hard to keep my psyche in control but every time it seems like I lose it. I’m terrified of the idea that I could possibly start tripping at any surface that’s not a simple fucking solid color scheme. It’s such a horrible anxiety-ridden feeling that I cant shake, how I could be at a job interview and just start tripping if the room has the simplest of patterns to it. Please guys, I need some meds or something at this point. If anyone has experience, let me know. I keep hitting these lows and my HPPD just seems to get worse and worse as time goes on. I’m genuinely scared.
Just wondering if anyone has had success, or done anything, in regards to coping with symptoms that arise from lack of sleep. Currently, I'm in school, and I really can't afford to be bombing exams and missing assignments as well as skipping classes in pursuit of enough sleep. This also worries me for the future as it severely undercuts my ability to do many careers that I've been interested in my entire life. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
So, quick for introduction to my background in regards of HPPD, I have done a whole bunch of drugs before and I already had HPPD in a major developement and tried to manage it with certain forms of therapy and by giving it aome conciouss time... my constant symptoms when it was the best were tracers and that a part of my concioussess is in the spirit world which is very fine with me.
I pretty much had trust in DMT and Salvia (I don´t know why I trusted Salvia I only tryed it a few times before and one time it even scared me, with that I have to mention that I am used to trip hard and that it is hard to scare me in this sense )
To the topic... about 26h ago I tripped hard on salvia while I was on Paracetamol ( stupidity is big in this one because I forgot that I was taking Paracetamol because I took it as medication for my cold, knowing that Paracetamol has some sort of not fully researched effect on opioid eceptor and the fact that Salvinorin-a bind onto kappa-opioid receptors I propably wouldn´t have done the salvia)
After the trip I instantly wrote down my experience and while writing it down I started this feeling in my body arise, it was a combination between the HPPD I got from a 2cb x MDMA x Methamphetamine x Cannabis and the HPPD I got from a painfull experience with 5HTP and LSD just mixed into this salvia dissociation and trip
I slept hours longer than I usually do and woke up very dissociated
The dissociation is my main problem with this case of HPPD because it is not only like depersonalization/dissociation-syndrome it has it´s very own vibe ( like every HPPD) ... I just never had HPPD from a dissociative psychedelic I guess^^
other symptoms include: very strong enhancement of colours ( even stronger that it was with the LSD HPPD) ,constant contact/concioussness with/about these imagined/normally unperceived entities that arise when tripping hard on salvia, also I don´t have small visuals in my visual field like specific tracers for this HPPD or swirls or anything but my whole vision is moving as one most of the time when it is weaker ( as if I knew the world was spinning) when it gets worse I can´t see sharply and more complex geometric patterns are in my whole visual field.
I hope someone here can help me or that I can at least find some kind souls to share a path together
much love and light
For the last 3 months or so I've had something strange going on. Um, stranger than usual. I'm getting on in years so sometimes I take an afternoon nap. When I wake up my visuals are intense. I mean really intense! It only lasts for about 30 - 45 minutes before my visuals drop down to "normal" (still present but not too bad). I don't feel any different. This afternoon, at work, I took a 15 minute dip into Nod and when I woke up I was seeing all of these bright red lines forming all over my hands. I looked out my window and .... well, it was intense. This doesn't happen when I wake up in the morning. Anyone else have a similar experience?