StatsMan96

HPPD at 20 from Marijuana Edible

19 posts in this topic

Hi all, I am a 21 year old man who has been struggling with HPPD since August 5, 2017. My family has a history of anxiety and this may have played a impact in why I got diagnosed.

I am currently in college at a University, and have been seeing a psychiatrist since September 1. I am also taking clonazepam daily and it has tremendously helped me with my symptoms of anxiety and panic disorder since I got HPPD.

One night, I was at a friend's house and he had a Wana Brand Sour Gummie watermelon edible. I have smoked twice before and occasionally drink, so I figured I would try it because we were going to a concert and he told me it was a gift for me. Well, number one I took it on a empty stomach, just came off of having mono for three months, and was not really up for doing it in the first place. 

I ended up taking it and the next three hours were a nightmare. I was tripping, seeing glasses full of water even when I had just drank them. I also experienced severe headaches and migraines and my friend looped a couple of times. So when we went out, I had him help me around. Eventually it wore off that night, but I have been diagnosed with HPPD and dealing with it ever since. 

Two weeks after the incident (I had a lot of beer in between), I had a panic attack one night and had a friend help me drive somewhere after I stopped and let him drive. I was having trouble sleeping and waking up with panic attacks every night after that. I finally went and saw a psych on September 1, and got prescribed clonazepam. Like I said before it has helped a ton, and I see him every two weeks. 

While my anxiety and panic attacks (none since meds) has decreased, I am still experiencing visual snow with glares and halos and stuff in my vision. I have abstained from alcohol, drugs, stimulants, and any sexual activity since August 18.

I am in college and it has greatly affected me this semester. I cannot quit school, so I just try to do the best that I can. Plus my psych is offered through the school. 

We have talked a lot and he tells me that based off of my experience and the fact that I only had the edible once, I should be okay within months to come. He advocates I also take one a day to get in vitamins such as magnesium. By the way, he has been dealing with HPPD cases for a very long time from a variety of drugs from LSD to Molly to Weed. So he is very knowledgeable on what's going on.

This forum seems very helpful, and I just want to know has anybody had a similar experience to me in the past? I really hope to recover soon, but as we all know this illness could be very brief or last long. Even if you do not have the same experience, is there any advice you could give to me about dealing with this disorder. I just hope to one day have my vision restored to normal and be a little less anxious at times. 

Thanks for reading and I look forward to engaging in convos with some of you about this.

Edited by StatsMan96
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Must be nice to have someone knowledgeable on hppd, it's rare. I hope you recover full and well my dude.

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1 minute ago, Originally said:

Must be nice to have someone knowledgeable on hppd, it's rare. I hope you recover full and well my dude.

Thank you. I hope so too. It's been crazy so far. It just happened in the instance of a day. Any advice or anything you can give me? If I may ask, did you get it from Marijuana/THC Edibles too?

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Sounds like you are doing all the right things... Just be careful with the clonazepam. I would taper down soon and see where you are at... You might be considerably better already without knowing it... No point risking addiction/withdrawal (anxiety hell).

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4 hours ago, Jay1 said:

Sounds like you are doing all the right things... Just be careful with the clonazepam. I would taper down soon and see where you are at... You might be considerably better already without knowing it... No point risking addiction/withdrawal (anxiety hell).

Yeah I've heard about that since it is a Benzodiazepine. I don't have any history of addiction to substances. But I understand what you are saying when you say withdrawal. I have heard about it, and I will talk with my pysch about it when I see him next week. I'm only at .5 mg. I take one in morning and two before sleep.

Since being on the medication, the main thing that has bothered me is the visual snow still, as it's the one thing that continues to constantly affect me. And being in college and being in a top tier school with one of the most difficult majors, I've with either thought about switching majors (probably might happen) or switch schools closer to home (but I would loose my psych and not be at the same institution). I will definitely say this has affected me academically because I can not stay up like I used to and study like I used to. I need to get a certain amount of sleep each day. 

Sorry for the long response, but you seem like a long time user on this forum. I dont think you have HPPD from Marijuana/THC Edibles, but is there any advice or suggestions you think I should take into consideration to try to recover soon?

I have abstained from all alcohol, stimulants, and I will never do any form of marijuana again. I have no other previous medical drug use besides when prescribed. If I do successfully recover, I want to make sure that I keep the greatest possibility of keeping this away from coming back.

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14 minutes ago, StatsMan96 said:

Yeah I've heard about that since it is a Benzodiazepine. I don't have any history of addiction to substances. But I understand what you are saying when you say withdrawal. I have heard about it, and I will talk with my pysch about it when I see him next week. I'm only at .5 mg. I take one in morning and two before sleep.

Since being on the medication, the main thing that has bothered me is the visual snow still, as it's the one thing that continues to constantly affect me. And being in college and being in a top tier school with one of the most difficult majors, I've with either thought about switching majors (probably might happen) or switch schools closer to home (but I would loose my psych and not be at the same institution). I will definitely say this has affected me academically because I can not stay up like I used to and study like I used to. I need to get a certain amount of sleep each day. 

Sorry for the long response, but you seem like a long time user on this forum. I dont think you have HPPD from Marijuana/THC Edibles, but is there any advice or suggestions you think I should take into consideration to try to recover soon?

I have abstained from all alcohol, stimulants, and I will never do any form of marijuana again. I have no other previous medical drug use besides when prescribed. If I do successfully recover, I want to make sure that I keep the greatest possibility of keeping this away from coming back.

You are on 1.5mg per day in total? That's a fairly hefty dose. You will probably notice some withrdawal symptoms if you stay on that dose for more than a month or two...  Also, everyone with an addiction started out with no history of addiction :D

I don;t want to overly scare you, but I also want you to know the dangers of benzos... My cousin, who was a decade long heroin addict said he found valium MUCH harder to kick than heroin.

Considering your have hppd from weed, which tends to go away naturally for most everyone who has ever visited this forum, benzos can be overkill. Be careful what the doctor says... They can push pills harder than a drug dealer... 2-3 months is as long as you ever want to be on a benzo, for every day use (I do 3 days on, 4 days off... That has worked for over 10 years now, with no addiction or tolerance).

You are doing everything right, by the sounds of it... add in exercise and healthy eating, is possible. The best advice (and hardest to follow) is just to avoid stress and try to stop thinking about hppd as much as possible. Whatever it takes.. Sit in front of films, video games, sports, chase girls, whatever helps take your mind off it.

The best way to avoid it coming back is simple... zero drugs. Avoid heavy alcohol sessions for a few years too, a few beers probably wont hurt though.

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26 minutes ago, Jay1 said:

You are on 1.5mg per day in total? That's a fairly hefty dose. You will probably notice some withrdawal symptoms if you stay on that dose for more than a month or two...  Also, everyone with an addiction started out with no history of addiction :D

I don;t want to overly scare you, but I also want you to know the dangers of benzos... My cousin, who was a decade long heroin addict said he found valium MUCH harder to kick than heroin.

Considering your have hppd from weed, which tends to go away naturally for most everyone who has ever visited this forum, benzos can be overkill. Be careful what the doctor says... They can push pills harder than a drug dealer... 2-3 months is as long as you ever want to be on a benzo, for every day use (I do 3 days on, 4 days off... That has worked for over 10 years now, with no addiction or tolerance).

You are doing everything right, by the sounds of it... add in exercise and healthy eating, is possible. The best advice (and hardest to follow) is just to avoid stress and try to stop thinking about hppd as much as possible. Whatever it takes.. Sit in front of films, video games, sports, chase girls, whatever helps take your mind off it.

The best way to avoid it coming back is simple... zero drugs. Avoid heavy alcohol sessions for a few years too, a few beers probably wont hurt though.

Yeah this week has been pretty bad so far. I have constantly been having headaches, but luckily I see my psych next Tuesday so we are definitely going to talk about this. In addition, I have been up every night until like 12 to 2 am because of homework and am I barely getting any sleep because I have class in the morning. I need to get this situated now. I have been taking it since September 1. 

I have not had time to exercise due to coursework unfortunately, as I have been struggling in school as a whole and that has taken a toll on my stress as well. Trying to do well in a top ten school for your degree program is hard to balance with this. I also need to start eating better, most days I do not eat the best, but some days I eat very well, which is why he wanted me to start taking one a day supplements so I was getting proper nutrition in and things like magnesium etc. 

I have no desire to ever use any drugs again. Even alcohol. I do not want this to possibly come back and the only time I would ever use anything again is when I am prescribed something for an illness such as flu or strep throat or etc. 

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Oh,, you've maybe already read this here... But if the doctor tries to prescribe SSRIs or anti pyschs, say no.

Good luck with your studies... I went through high school, college and university with this... It's not easy, but it is possible. I found that really throwing myself into the studies could distract me a little and seemed to fuel my creative thinking. It is good to try and find little positives about this disorder.

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1 minute ago, Jay1 said:

Oh,, you've maybe already read this here... But if the doctor tries to prescribe SSRIs or anti pyschs, say no.

Good luck with your studies... I went through high school, college and university with this... It's not easy, but it is possible. I found that really throwing myself into the studies could distract me a little and seemed to fuel my creative thinking. It is good to try and find little positives about this disorder.

Ok I understand what you are saying. I have not heard about SSRIs or ant psychs before. Could you care to explain what these are so I know what to look for?

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SSRIs are anti depressant meds (like prozac)... They are generally very bad for people with hppd. Similar for anti psychotic medication. For me, and many others here, they make visuals much worse and increase the anxiety and trippy feel (dpdr).

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2 minutes ago, Jay1 said:

SSRIs are anti depressant meds (like prozac)... They are generally very bad for people with hppd. Similar for anti psychotic medication. For me, and many others here, they make visuals much worse and increase the anxiety and trippy feel (dpdr).

Ok thank you very much for the information. Any other couple things of advice you would give to me that you wish you knew at my age? Some things I should know about recovery and learning more about this disorder?

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Mindset is the key really.... Though I am unsure if it is something you just have, or can develop it.

Alot of people arrive here full of self loathing and hatred... It's just wasted energy that creates further stress... Stress fuels anxiety, which fuels the visuals... So forgive yourself, take this as a massive learning step and mentally move on.

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1 hour ago, Jay1 said:

Mindset is the key really.... Though I am unsure if it is something you just have, or can develop it.

Alot of people arrive here full of self loathing and hatred... It's just wasted energy that creates further stress... Stress fuels anxiety, which fuels the visuals... So forgive yourself, take this as a massive learning step and mentally move on.

Okay thank you very much for your advice. I will agree that I have felt regret and mad at least once a day, and I will try to just move on with that. I will try to stay updated on my experience, because I think this forum has potential to help me. It is nice to be able to talk to people who ensure the same or similar experiences and hear about recovery stories. 

Luckily, I see my pysch next week and I will take into consideration what we have talked about here and what should be the next step for me. Because the medication has been great but like you and the psych said, I do not want to be on it long term. And it could be the medication beginning to affect me, it could be that I have not been getting enough rest, and it could be that I do not have proper nutrition, but hopefully by next week I can get this figured out and find out what I need to continue to do to recover. 

I am confident I can get extremely better. I've had a rough year besides the HPPD, and I want to have a bright future ahead of me.

I will say though with just loosing a parent due to an accident, I have taken an appreciation to being alive everyday. I just worry for my life length, as medications and suffering through illnesses like this can take a toll on people. 

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Sorry to hear that... The grief may well have played a part in getting hppd... People think of grief as mainly about thoughts and feelings, but it also puts a massive strain on your body too, depleting various chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, while increasing cortisol....

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1 hour ago, Jay1 said:

Sorry to hear that... The grief may well have played a part in getting hppd... People think of grief as mainly about thoughts and feelings, but it also puts a massive strain on your body too, depleting various chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, while increasing cortisol....

I had HPPD before the death occurred. I have been grieving and it does indeed put a massive strain on recovery and body. I have been trying to overcome it now because if I do, it will make it better to recover I think. Like you said, I got to keep a positive mindset overall, and just try to stay as healthy as possible (eating, sleeping, possibly trying to exercise, and making sure I know what I put in my body). I am going to stay away from alcohol, stimulants, and other drugs because I do not want this to reoccur and this also probably gives me a better chance of recovering. 

Hopefully in the near future, I can recover completely in vision, and be near or close to what my mental state used to be. I also understand that there is a possibility I may just have to live with it. We shall see. Thanks for all your help talking with me and I will update this post occasionally to talk about how I am doing as a whole. 

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I actually think school can be beneficial with HPPD but only if you feel comfortable where you're at and can handle it. One of the best ways to cope with HPPD is through distraction or anything that keeps your attention focused intensely on something other than your symptoms and study is certainly one of those. Again, each person is different but if I were you I'd try and focus on getting some sleep and make it a goal to do well in school. If you feel overwhelmed, no big deal. You can always take semesters off and given how well you've done in the past it sounds like you'd have no problem transferring if you needed. Just try not to make any major life-changing decisions on an emotional whim because that can tend to happen when dealing with something as ugly as HPPD. 

In terms of recovery, you'll find tons of advice up and down this forum. As long as you stay completely sober, get good sleep, exercise regularly, don't spend too much time seated in one place, eat healthy, meditate and so on you'll likely recover sooner rather than later. However, the one thing I always tell people is to be prepared to have HPPD for longer than you might think or want. I never thought in a million years I'd have it for longer than a few years but I'm already at 2.5 years and still have a long road to go. As long as you live a healthy lifestyle you'll likely recover but you just need to be prepared to deal with this condition on some level for a while. 

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56 minutes ago, K.B.Fante said:

I actually think school can be beneficial with HPPD but only if you feel comfortable where you're at and can handle it. One of the best ways to cope with HPPD is through distraction or anything that keeps your attention focused intensely on something other than your symptoms and study is certainly one of those. Again, each person is different but if I were you I'd try and focus on getting some sleep and make it a goal to do well in school. If you feel overwhelmed, no big deal. You can always take semesters off and given how well you've done in the past it sounds like you'd have no problem transferring if you needed. Just try not to make any major life-changing decisions on an emotional whim because that can tend to happen when dealing with something as ugly as HPPD. 

In terms of recovery, you'll find tons of advice up and down this forum. As long as you stay completely sober, get good sleep, exercise regularly, don't spend too much time seated in one place, eat healthy, meditate and so on you'll likely recover sooner rather than later. However, the one thing I always tell people is to be prepared to have HPPD for longer than you might think or want. I never thought in a million years I'd have it for longer than a few years but I'm already at 2.5 years and still have a long road to go. As long as you live a healthy lifestyle you'll likely recover but you just need to be prepared to deal with this condition on some level for a while. 

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I might have to change majors and minor in my other area of study. It's just too much right now trying to do both. But I'm not disappointed or anything because I can still reach my dream career with the other degree. 

Some questions:

1) What caused your HPPD? Do you have extensive drug history?

2) Have you ever seeked help? Like seeing a phychiatrist or something?

3) Have you ever been placed on any medications?

4) Do you exercise and does it help you actually? I have heard it can make it worse. 

4.5) do you have Visual Snow? If so, have you found methods to reduce it?

5) Why do you say you have a long road to go? Have you been using drugs or stimulants while having HPPD or is it something else?

Thanks for your advice and thanks for discussing this with me. It helps me a lot to understand this more.

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6 hours ago, StatsMan96 said:

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I might have to change majors and minor in my other area of study. It's just too much right now trying to do both. But I'm not disappointed or anything because I can still reach my dream career with the other degree. 

Some questions:

1) What caused your HPPD? Do you have extensive drug history?

2) Have you ever seeked help? Like seeing a phychiatrist or something?

3) Have you ever been placed on any medications?

4) Do you exercise and does it help you actually? I have heard it can make it worse. 

4.5) do you have Visual Snow? If so, have you found methods to reduce it?

5) Why do you say you have a long road to go? Have you been using drugs or stimulants while having HPPD or is it something else?

Thanks for your advice and thanks for discussing this with me. It helps me a lot to understand this more.

1. LSD and yes I have an extensive drug history but not in the same way as others here. I've tried lots of drugs a handful of times but was never an addicted.

2. Yes, I've been to a therapist (which I highly recommend), psychiatrist, neurologist, standard MD, naturopath and so on. I've learned a lot from each and have also not been helped tremendously by anyone. This simply isn't a condition doctors or medical professionals are prepared to handle. This board contains more useful information than you'll find anywhere. 

3. Many. I've tried a number of big pharma antidepressants, benzos, anti-epileptics, etc. I've also tried all sorts of natural herbs, vitamins, tonics, you name it. I'd stay away from benzos if I were you as they can mess your brain up even further, but to each his own. A combination of B vitamins, magnesium taurate and high quality fish oil (with more DHA) have been my staples for the last year and a half though I'm starting to taper off all of them for other health reasons. 

4. Yes, all the time. It's not going to cure your HPPD overnight but if you make a habit of exercising frequently it can have tremendous positive affects on brain and overall health. I've never been one who's symptoms worsen after exercise so it's never bothered me in that sense. 

4.5) Yes and no. Visual snow, in my case, is largely dependent on what you put in your body. Drugs make it worse. Stimulants make it worse. Many foods make it worse (nightshades, sugar, etc.), but overall it will decrease with time as other symptoms do as well. 

5. If HPPD is a brain injury, as I suspect it is, then recovery aligns with other brain injuries and often takes years. Some people with minor HPPD seem to recover within a year or two but there are many stories on this site of people who take upwards of five years to recover in severe cases even without continuing drug use. I had very severe HPPD so I tend to align more with the latter category of sufferers although I'm already in a very good place with my symptoms wherein they don't bother me all that much day to day. 

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Hey dude i have hppd to and Got it from smoking weed u Can send me a text if u wanna talk

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