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    • By LethargicAcid
      hey I decided I finally would upload a video about hppd  gonna upload on youtube
       
      WIN_20171117_060240.MP4
    • By Bursting Aura
       I have only done about 10 hours of research on this, which is not much. Ideally I would like a couple more weeks to wrap my head around something before I recommend it and I need time to see the long-term effects for me also. But I have a strong inclination to quickly get this information to the group, so perhaps this will help someone else suffering. Maybe this works, maybe it doesn't. I cannot recommend this as a cure, but I can only say this has helped me. However, I am not sure if it placebo. Anyways, I did an 18 hour fast and it helped with my HPPD.

                   I will keep the anecdote short, because anecdotes never matter. What really matters is science and peer-review. I did this short-fast because I saw someone on here mention in a success story of curing HPPD on a 3 day fast. Someone commenting suggesting that it has to do with "neurogenesis". I did research on neurogenesis and it happens throughout our lives, such as during exercise or sex, so it doesn’t seem very significant. But, I stumbled upon a term called "autophagy"
      ah-ta-fa-gee. Researching this process gave me motivation to try a 18 hour fast. My HPPD since then has gotten better. On a scale of 1-10 my symptoms have been at a 5 since Saturday, when they usually average about 7 or 8. I am theorizing my symptoms decreased because fasting induces autophagy.

                  Here is Autophagy from an article . "Short-term fasting induces profound neuronal autophagy"
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3106288/ Autophagy is a key homeostatic mechanism whose physiological importance is reflected by its preservation throughout the eukaryotic phylogenetic tree, from yeast to mammals. In recent years, autophagy has been recognized as a crucial defense mechanism against malignancy, infection and neurodegenerative diseases

                          Here is another definition. "Autophagy: cellular and molecular mechanisms" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2990190/ Autophagy is a self-degradative process that is important for balancing sources of energy at critical times in development and in response to nutrient stress. Autophagy also plays a housekeeping role in removing misfolded or aggregated proteins, clearing damaged organelles, such as mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum and peroxisomes, as well as eliminating intracellular pathogens. Thus, autophagy is generally thought of as a survival mechanism. Autophagy is strongly induced by starvation and is a key component of the adaptive response of cells and organisms to nutrient deprivation that promotes survival until nutrients become available again.

                     Stay with me here. But it pretty much takes out damaged cells from our brains and recycles them in the liver. This process is activated via fasting.
      "Neuronal autophagy: going the distance to the axon." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18000396/ Furthermore, our study implicates dysfunction of axonal autophagy as a potential mechanism underlying axonopathy, which is linked to neurodegeneration associated with numerous human neurological disorders
      Let me know what you think, I am always prepared to be entirely wrong. There is no research on a link between autophagy and HPPD obviously. So I am assuming a causal relationship that bad neurons are the cause of HPPD.

                   Here are more articles. I am hoping someone can partner and help me with this.
      "Disruption of Neuronal Autophagy by Infected Microglia Results in Neurodegeneration" http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0002906
      "Constitutive autophagy: vital role in clearance of unfavorable proteins in neurons." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17332773/
      I found 2 posts of anecdotal claims.
      2013 bluelight.com post about fasting curing hppd. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/archive/index.php/t-688613.html
      2017 Reddit.com hppd forum success story about fasting curing hppd https://www.reddit.com/r/HPPD/comments/6ybbcs/success_story/
                          You can do an easy 18-hour fast by not eating after dinner at 5pm, and then not eating until noon the next day. Make sure you are healthy and talk to your doctor. I would like a couple people to try this to see if this actually works. I am going to start another fast today and I will report back in a week or so. Hopefully it works.
                      Potential adverse effects for women. there are claims that fasting can cause missed periods.  Also, unfortunately it seems autophagy is less profound with females. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19036730/ In other words, the damaged neurons have a harder time dying off. For men, fasting will temporary lower testosterone. Do your own research and talk to your doctor.
    • By gabriel
      I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English.
      About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things.
      What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy.
      This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
    • By HDDeer
      I don't really know where else to vent about this, in all honesty, it's really bothering me that this could go on for so long, anyways let me begin. 
      This is just a thought of mine I have, and I don't want anyone to judge me for it because I feel like it could make me kinda sound delusional. 
      Let me begin,
      It's been about a year now since I first touched mdma, I remember when I first got my hands on it, I did it on Christmas eve and Christmas, lied to my family about where I was, i was doing it hours before work, there was a point when I did it something like 5 nights in a row. I picked up cocaine a few times which made me extremely suicidal, there was actually one time I had myself convinced i was going to spend all my money in my bank account on blow in hopes it would kill me(I don't know if it actually would have, and I still don't know if it would, I was just really reckless), it was a relatively rough period for me.
      I never had hppd during that period of time though. 
      But mdma, I did stop doing it as I couldn't find pure stuff anymore. I ended up stumbling upon mushrooms and lsd, the first time I took acid, best experience I've ever had in my entire life. Mushroom trips while not good, always helped me with my other neurological disorder. 
      Then I got hppd after a bad acid trip, I'm here now 7 months later, I think things have gotten better in terms of visuals, for the most part my anxiety is usually non-existent. 
      But every time my hppd is beginning to show improvements, I find my drug addiction comes back harder and harder. I ask myself most times, is it even possible to truly have an addiction 9 months after the last time you even touched the drug? You wouldn't think so. Maybe it's just my mental state.
      I should correct myself, the last time I was doing hard drugs faithfully was 9 months ago, I did end up doing a Molly capsule back in June, that nobody even knows of, not my girlfriend not anyone in my family, only my nephew whose a few months younger than me. It definitely made my hppd worse, it has gotten better since, though my ghosting was virtually non existent before, and now while it's going away again, it's definitely a lot slower going away than it was before. 
      Now, my hppd is finally getting better again, my mental capacity is so lacking, that I can't seem to get it through to myself that drugs put me here, mdma made it worse, but I find myself being drawn back into it. I have so much trouble fighting my urges. 
      I know it's not a life to live, hppd or not hppd.
      My mom died back in 2010, and I'm relatively confident that I suffer from dp/dr because of it, my emotions are relatively numb, I feel like I don't care about my family like the normal person should. Drugs filled that void my mom left there when she died. It's been so long that I truly do not know wether or not if what i feel is normal, personally, something does feel off, and it did before hppd happened. 
      Sometimes I kinda wonder, if my mom or even the universe for that matter, sees that I have some kind of purpose for good, which is why I was thrown into this mess with hppd to stop an addiction from getting worse, to fulfill something meaningful.
      Granted, it's very important to me to help someone, or change at least one person's life for good while I'm here, so maybe I'm just really lost in my own mind and this is all some weird ploy I came up with to comfort myself with this mess I'm in. 
      I just really hope something in my life changes soon, because while my hppd may not be getting worse, something about my life is. 
      I have a new job as a security guard, I work shift work, 7 days on and 7 days off, 12 hour shifts. And while it does pay decent, I just don't truly think it's for me. I want to do something meaningful.
      Sorry for the rant guys, haven't posted on here in a while and my urges and just my life all around have been coming in full swing, needed people I could relate to, to see this. 
      Thank you. 
    • By cneves
      Hello everyone,

      First of all, I'm really sorry for everyone here that suffers from HPPD, derealization, depersonalization, anxiety, depression, panic attacks and other symptoms. 

      I'm a journalism student at Anglia Ruskin University, UK. As my final project, I'm making a documentary about HPPD as a way to raise awareness for this condition. 

      I know about HPPD because of my boyfriend, he's been having it for almost 2 years now and this is my way of trying to understand him better and my way of trying to help in any way I can. 

      For my documentary, I'd like to talk to other people with HPPD, because everyone experiences it differently. If any of you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me, you can contact me at this email - c.neves@outlook.pt
      Your help would be truly appreciated.
      Thank you so much in advance, 
      Carolina Neves
       
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slowdancinginaburningroom

Please Help - HPPD at 17, is it worth continuing?

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Hi all,

So on August 6, 2017, at around 10pm, my friend basically forced me into doing acid for the first and only time. I didn’t really want to take it, my girlfriend had just broken up with me, I had gotten blackout drunk the night before, I had just eaten, and I was also afraid of the drug because I had always been told it fries your brain. So anyways, I took one tab of tested (not synthetic [excuse my terminology I know nothing about this stuff]) in order to get high, which is the wrong reason to take the drug. I didn’t really feel anything until I started getting some minor visuals a few hours in. Then at about the 5 hour mark, the trip turned terrible. I started freaking out, I got constipated, and I began to freak out begging my friend to take me to the hospital. After about 4 more hours of this, we both agreed to take a single Xanax bar, and that helped me finally go to sleep. The next day I felt ok, things seemed a little different and I guess I knew to expect that temporarily. The day after that is when all my problems began to surface. I began to see an abnormal amount of floaters in my vision that move with my eyes, not on my own, and I also began to see afterimages of everything and I have also developed blue field entoptic phenomenon as well. These all pale in comparison to the anxiety which controls me. It’s now been 2 months (October 11, 2017) as I write this, and I haven’t been able to get good sleep on a consistent basis and I am extremely concerned that this is tearing my life apart. I can’t get the fact that I used acid out of my head. The floaters never subside unless I am in a dimly lit room, and I become extremely anxious and am not able to sleep easily at night. My social life has significantly deteriorated as well, as my friends love to smoke pot but I no longer do because I am afraid it will aggravate my HPPD. The girl who broke up with me the day of the trip gave me a second chance, but after acid I became completely obsessed with her to a point where it became necessary for her to remove me from her life, despite the fact that I was never like that with her before tripping, and I convinced myself that I could not live without her, which is downright creepy and not like the old me at all. She has called me psychotic on two different occasions since the breakup despite me not telling her anything I am suffering from. It has now been 3 weeks and my thoughts are still consumed by her and my HPPD. I haven’t smoked pot since 6 days before the trip, and since the trip I have taken one Xanax and drank on several occasions, which I have now stopped. I use an e cigarette every day and but I don’t drink caffeine. I have committed now to complete sobriety aside from the e cig, which I had quit previously for about 3 days, but did not alleviate any symptoms. I’m only 17 and I have my whole life ahead of me and right now I feel like it isn’t worth living if I have to deal with this. I made a mistake, one tab of acid, and I don’t know if I can deal with the reality that this may haunt me for the rest of my life. If this is truly permanent, I can’t see why I would want to continue to be a part of this world as it’s only been 2 months and the symptoms, however minor, are now unbearable. I cannot get professional help as my parents are non-believers in western medicine and would not send me to a psychiatrist unless I went full-blown insane. There is also no history of mental illness in my family. Any suggestion is welcome.

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Best bet is to calm down, it seems like you don't have HPPD, that's very good news. All that has happened is you are seeing some things that your brain used to ignore. What you are experiencing is very normal. You are obsessing over your girlfriend because things have ended. That is also normal and will pass. 

Just say away from alcohol and other drugs for as long as you can and you will be fine 

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Yep, stay calm.... 2 months will seem like a lifetime, but these symptoms can quickly fade, once you are living a healthy and sober life... Just give yourself a break, avoid stress... quite work/school/college if you need to. If you just need to sit and watch tv for 3 months, do it.. Whatever works to reduce stress and anxiety.

If you are still as anxious in another 2-3 months, then there are plenty of medications to explore. My advice is to avoid them for now though, get to grips with how you feel naturally.

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Looks like i'll have to follow Jay's advice aswell and drop college for a year.

 

I never drank alcohol (besides 1-2 times a year of binge), never smoked cigs, never did illegal drugs, but hppd/vs still hit me. I see no point in abstaining from cigs or alcohol from now on. I need a relief, a ''get out of my mind'' sensation. I lived a life of abstain from things that all of my friends did. And I still fucked my brain, and they didn't. Sad, sad existence with no profits in the end. Life is a fucking joke.

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7 hours ago, Jay1 said:

Yep, stay calm.... 2 months will seem like a lifetime, but these symptoms can quickly fade, once you are living a healthy and sober life... Just give yourself a break, avoid stress... quite work/school/college if you need to. If you just need to sit and watch tv for 3 months, do it.. Whatever works to reduce stress and anxiety.

If you are still as anxious in another 2-3 months, then there are plenty of medications to explore. My advice is to avoid them for now though, get to grips with how you feel naturally.

Hi Jay -

Unfortunately, I am a senior in high school, and a break from school is not a viable option for me. I would like to add that I never experience floaters or light trails outside of school, sometimes I’ll see the light trails at night when I look in bright lights. The only problem I have at home is getting high-quality sleep. Could this all be brought on by anxiety, or do I really have HPPD? Do you have any suggestions for how to manage this anxiety without benzodiazepines?

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It is hppd, trails and floaters are one of the symptoms that accompany hppd. I wouldn't suggest taking benzo, but since you already have hppd, you might aswell try to trake them when needed, or cycle 4 day on them and 3 days off of them.

 

If I were you, a senior in hs, i'd get myself some klonopin and do the cycles. Then i'd also take some propranolol. If I felt that I couldn't focus on anything because of anxiety, i'd even go on smoking pot. But carefully. 

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Floaters are not a symptom of hppd... i had them when i was 5 years old.... you are just studying your visual field alot... so will see things like floaters more... even Stewie Griffin gets them in an episode of family guy!

For anxiety... try meditation, breathing exercises etc first

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45 minutes ago, Jay1 said:

Floaters are not a symptom of hppd... i had them when i was 5 years old.... you are just studying your visual field alot... so will see things like floaters more... even Stewie Griffin gets them in an episode of family guy!

For anxiety... try meditation, breathing exercises etc first

Thank you for the advice Jay. I’m trying my best to not notice them / tell myself it’s okay and I’ll be okay. I feel like I may not actually have HPPD because all I really have are floaters in the sky when I go outside and my eyes are more sensitive to light now. I need to move past this and realize it’s a mistake I made in the past and can’t let it define me. Thanks for your help, I appreciate it!

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Yea, that doesn't sound like hppd, which is good news... There are easier ways to treat anxiety than hppd.

Try to wear sunglasses as much as possible for the light sensitivity. I cured mine by wearing sunglasses all the time for a few months (even indoors).

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Well, one floater isn't hppd, sure. But when the brain suddenly starts to observe 5-10 floaters, it is a sign that the brain is being stimulated/hyperactive.

If you have trails and floaters, I could only based on that say that you have hppd, the severity is up to you to decide. But if you have one tiny floater, then no hppd.

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Floaters literally have zero to do with hppd... nothing, nada. The only thing that is happening is that you are freaking out about this hppd thing you've heard of, and are scanning your visual field far more than you used to. It's that simple.

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