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Scrambled Brain

Does anyone enjoy derealization or hppd?

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Does anyone still like smoking weed and once in a while go to the forest to take some drugs during the dpdr/hppd or what not? 

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My primary symptom is visual hallucinations.  There are times when I find it amusing.  Once in a while.  Taking psychoactive drugs of any kind is not an option for me.

Edited by MadDoc
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19 hours ago, Joeygeorgie88 said:

Haha.......I can only guess you don't have a very bad case of this, bud.

I tell you what, mate,  i have been feeling is insane  dpdr especially when it started. Sudently woke up a day and realized im stuck in this mind prison. Foggy, feeling like a robot, feels like watching a movie through my own eyes. Feel like im on acid 24/7. Everything 2 dimensional and diffirent. Like being a 1st person shooter video game. The hardest (and still is ) is a bright lited big room like a shopping center with so many fucking lights from the shops shiny lited logos and lights and people and noise of children screaming and families chatting/laughing/arguing. Im experiencing this because i was managing a Small shop in thr shopping center and felt crazy every day. I had no choice but to keep doing it even though it was stressful and probably one of the triggers to my dpdr. Anyway got home so wreckd from tiredness and start smoking joint after joint. This has been going on untill today apart from 1 break this year of like 2 monthes without smoke! I just forces myself to live with the mental state  although really hard. It is very true that what i was doing is probably masochistic. Smoking weed while you have hppd ir dpdr. Because it makes it worse.. it use to shut me so down in social events so hard i could almost not talk back to someone.  I also use to do it because it made it easier for me to deal with the dpdr while im not stoned. 

Didnt plan to right so much. Im stoned right now.. 

Is there anyone else that convinced himself he likes this mindstate ?

I am pretty good at lying to myself at least 70% of the week that i enjoy the permanent triping life.

 

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19 hours ago, Joeygeorgie88 said:

Haha.......I can only guess you don't have a very bad case of this, bud.

I tell you what, mate,  i have been feeling is insane  dpdr especially when it started. Sudently woke up a day and realized im stuck in this mind prison. Foggy, feeling like a robot, feels like watching a movie through my own eyes. Feel like im on acid 24/7. Everything 2 dimensional and diffirent. Like being a 1st person shooter video game. The hardest (and still is ) is a bright lited big room like a shopping center with so many fucking lights from the shops shiny lited logos and lights and people and noise of children screaming and families chatting/laughing/arguing. Im experiencing this because i was managing a Small shop in thr shopping center and felt crazy every day. I had no choice but to keep doing it even though it was stressful and probably one of the triggers to my dpdr. Anyway got home so wreckd from tiredness and start smoking joint after joint. This has been going on untill today apart from 1 break this year of like 2 monthes without smoke! I just forces myself to live with the mental state  although really hard. It is very true that what i was doing is probably masochistic. Smoking weed while you have hppd ir dpdr. Because it makes it worse.. it use to shut me so down in social events so hard i could almost not talk back to someone.  I also use to do it because it made it easier for me to deal with the dpdr while im not stoned. 

Didnt plan to right so much. Im stoned right now.. 

Is there anyone else that convinced himself he likes this mindstate ?

I am pretty good at lying to myself at least 70% of the week that i enjoy the permanent triping life.

 

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Ha, wow. I mean obviously I can't understand at all what you're doing, but each to their own I suppose! I'm surprised you haven't drifted into full-blown psychosis, to be honest! If I smoked everyday in my state I would probably be dead by now.

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If you enjoy HPPD, you don't have a bad case of HPPD. Imagine being totally fucked. Most people here are.

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It is hell. But after 3-4 years have to find a way you become one with it you know.

Not proud of my self but there it is. 

 

 

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I have a bad case. I do enjoy the hppd now, but used to be scared shitless of them. Dp isn't always fun obv 

Edited by LethargicAcid
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Most of the time the visuals, head pressure, dpdr and other psychological symptoms are literally torturing me. Sometimes, like <1-2% of the time, I can "enjoy" the symptoms. Neon lights look great at night as well as lights overall on a night walk for example. Sometimes I also enjoy sunset, the colors are more intense and everything looks a bit mystic, like in a movie. But as I said, these are very rare moments. I had it for 1,5 years now.

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Yea, i can get rare enjoyment from it... If I am alone at the beach, out in the waves... I feel an immense connection with nature that seems to stem from the dp/dr and general trippy feeling. Also, after sex! Lie back and watch the light show while the endorphins kick in.

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