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I’ve been trawling through this forum and seems like you guys are really helpful – not sure who’s active anymore but anyway I have some questions. Sorry it's long, if you’re feeling helpful but not up to reading then skip to the end :-)
I’m 20 and developed HPPD from LSD maybe 13/14 months ago. Light tracers, afterimages, visual snow, seeing colours etc. It caused me a bit of anxiety towards the beginning but it must have been very mild because it hardly bothered me at all. I could’ve very easily lived with it. I did MDMA multiple times in the following year, and some coke and keta, none made any difference to my HPPD, so I just linked it to LSD (wasn’t sure what it was really).
Just over a month ago I had mushrooms for the first (and LAST) time. Trip was extremely intense, I passed out and then it was like I’d woken up in another galaxy, but not a terrible experience like some you hear. About a week later I woke up with insane visuals, everything moving around, colours vibrant, people’s faces looked pink and yellow. I was vomiting and could hardly stand up. I felt like my life had ended, like I was no longer myself at all. I was seeing through a fish eye lens, my voice wasn’t my own, everything was moving around me like on a boat (I also have sea sickness so that didn’t help haha), brain fog, paranoia, crippling anxiety, muscle spasms and pain.
Im lucky enough to have a psych ive been seeing for the last 5 years so had that support. I found out a lot of the non-visual symptoms were anxiety-related (brain fog, muscle spasms, paranoia, and some worsening of visuals). I actually still feel as sharp as ever, just distracted by my visuals a lot of the time. My anxiety hasn’t been as bad, I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression before so that part I can handle.
It’s the fucking DP/DR that gets me, have never experienced it before and its hell. It got so bad I thought I was in a virtual reality simulator and my memories were all fake. And the visuals are definitely the cause – how could I not feel like things are fake if everything looks fake? I’ve been very up and down in managing it since then but still functioning, seeing friends, doing uni work, trying to get out and do things, exercise, I already ate pretty healthy.
Symptoms now: everything permanently looks like a mild acid/mushroom trip, covered in very heavy static, nothing looks solid, colours very vibrant and stuff moves in my peripheral vision, and sort of wobbles in and out of shape when I look at it (with all the afterimages, light trails etc. but I was already sort of okay with that stuff and can deal with it), and DP/DR. I am feeling depressed but that I can deal with.
So my questions are: do your visuals (the static in particular) ever fade away or will I just have to get used to them?
Or as it’s been just over a month since it got really bad, is it worth having Klonopin, Sinemet or Keppra now or should I wait?
I was thinking sinemet could be worth a try, even though it hasn’t done much to a lot of people, it seems to have the least side effects and I want my DP/DR to go away.
Or should I just get some Klonopin for the days when it gets really bad?
Very luckily my dad’s a doctor and completely believes me and is willing to prescribe me anything I think will help. (I live in Australia and have heard it’s hard to get it recognised at all here)
Sorry for the long ramble and thank you so much to whoever replies <3
Im writing this after a week of research done about hppd on google. I couldn't find much about. But the reason i'm ending up here is because i need some advice.
So a bit more then a week ago i took ecstasy for the first time. I took 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later i took 1/4 again. I didn't feel too much about the "high". It feelt good and dance all night. When i walked came out of the club (7am) my vision was bit blurry (probably because of being in a dark club all night). Then I went home and my parents were awake. Someone told me to look into light to hide dilated pupils so i did.
Now the next morning i was scared i damaged my brain so i went online and searched the internet. At somepoint i stumbled across hppd. I immediately got scared i had this so i checked if i had any of the symptoms.
Since i read about hppd i have the "visual snow" all the time, except for when I'm busy with other things. but for the last week I've been obsessing about the visual snow a lot.
I see a bit of a glare around lights but im not sure if i had that before.
Some lights have a starshape
I have after images only when i look to bright lights for a few seconds and the after images dont last long.
That's about all the symptoms i have. I don't seem to have walls morph into shapes or anything. I also don't have any of the depersonalition or derealization nor do i have depression.
Now my real question do I have hppd?
I have OCD so i had anxiety before i did the drug and because of OCD i tend to obsess about a lot of issues, health or other.
Also i want to mention that I have done cannabis and alcohol before and since i have my symptoms i tried it once and it didn't seem to worsen the symptoms during the "high" of cannabis or alcohol.
I might be overthinking this but some advice would be appreciated.
Does anyone else have nothing they can objectively point to as "wrong," no visual static or distortion, but simply a general feeling that something is wrong with one of their senses, and an obsession with this idea?
I have one of the oddest cases of "HPPD" I've ever heard of, including on these forums.
About 5 years ago, I took a tab of LSD. I'd been experiencing increasing levels of anxiety on drugs over the previous 6 months, but that didn't deter me. The trip was unremarkable, except that I could not sleep, and that no one around me was on LSD - they were probably doing other drugs since they were all club kids.
After about 18 hours on this trip, including 2 after parties, taking 10 melatonin pills by accident with no effect, and watching the sunrise by myself, I carried on into the next day, sleep deprived, tired and anxious on the come down. I was terrified of seeing my parents, but needed to go home to get some gear for a DJ gig I had that night. I stole into my house, and decided, for some reason, to change my contact lenses (probably because i'd been wearing the same pair for over 24 hours). I didn't have the correct prescription, so as I remember it I put in a slightly higher prescription in my left eye.
The next day, and ever since then, I became aware of some anomaly in my left eye. No visual static, noise, or other perceptible hallucinations...just a feeling that something is wrong. However, this feeling and large amount of accompanying anxiety ONLY exists when I am wearing contact lenses. In glasses or without lenses on, I don't feel it. But I hate, hate, hate wearing glasses, especially because I have a high prescription. I also feel broken. With contact lenses on, I feel incapable of conducting myself normally in any situation. However, I feel that I look best without glasses on. I even gave up trying to look good and wore glasses exclusively for months to see if the visual problem would stop, but it didn't.
It's super weird. Somehow it's like PTSD and I've associated wearing contact lenses with the LSD trip and the HPPD is only activated when I'm wearing them. I'm considering LASIK but don't want to feel like I'm on a permatrip! I'm also obsessed with "figuring it out" - what exactly is going on, how did it start? It's worth noting, I get a lot of other kinds of physical anxiety even when I have glasses on, like neck stiffening or social anxiety. And I tend to get obsessed with the physical manifestations of my anxiety.
It's been 5 long years of up and down hell with this. I often feel like if just this one thing would go away, I could feel OK about myself and get on with life. But it haunts me, and like so many other forms of anxiety, the more I think about it, the worse it is. Your thoughts and feelings are welcomed!
I have read up on HPPD and am certain I have it now. I have used lots of drugs in past, MD,Ket,methodrone, acid, shrooms.. etc.
Basically I hallucinated really bad about week ago while high on MD & Ket. I think caused me to develop HPPD.
If look up into bright sky I see loads particles floating in sky in my vision. This doesn't bother me just pointing it out.
I don't enjoy smoking weed anymore because I get such strong visuals now. Best way I can describe it is, flashing multi colours in my vision, almost like auras/light emitting off people, fast heart rate, and just feels uncomfortable when I get high.
I smoked weed pretty much every day for the past 2 years, I have stopped smoking weed now. Will I ever be able enjoy getting stoned again ?
Also I read that alcohol can worsen the effects. I feel quite good atm and I'm not smoking weed for a good while.my birthday is next week should i be alright to drink alcohol ?
Thanks for any advice :-D