So im 17 and summer is coming up in one week. I've had pretty minor hppd for about 8 months, and I just want this to go away. All my friends smoke weed and I feel so left out not smoking with them. This leaves me pondering a crucial question: should I just say fuck it and start blazing again or should I dedicate this summer to recovery and mental growth to see if I can still recover? I just miss smoking so much but if I knew for a fact that I would fully recover in a year I would be willing to not drink or do drugs until months after I am fully recovered. What should I do it's killing me? My symptoms are:
slight trails in some lighting
walls breathing if I pay attention
So I got very minor hppd from an acid trip around 8 months ago. After the trip I smoked weed and drank a couple times, then I started noticing static and such in my vision... so I have been clean from all substances for 5 months. The anxiety/ depression is much better, and the visuals are pretty ignorable unless in bad lighting and not very bad. If I continue to be healthy and abstain from drug use, having recently quit nicotine as well, do I still have the possibility of recovering? I've heard plenty of cases of ppl recovering and having visuals go away within 1-2 years and that's what I'm hoping for! Is this a possibility? Hppd is minor and I plan on staying healthy as I am 17 and workout on daily basis
I haven't been on this site in quite some time, but I was reflecting on the past 6 years of perceptual disturbances and thought that I would write a post that may shed a different light on HPPD. I am very thankful that HPPD has become a part of my life(yes, even when I start melting or the room keeps changing sizes). I'm sure by this point many of you are thinking "wow, this guy is fucked in the head" , but let me elaborate a bit more. At this point in my life I am happy, I love who I am, and I am in a great place despite my visual and tactile disturbances not wavering in the slightest. Pre-HPPD, however, I could say none of the good things I listed above. I lived my life constantly brushing my anxiety, depression, and insomnia under the rug like it didn't exist. HPPD amplified these problems to a point where I could no longer just pass them off. It forced me to change. I had to open up to people about myself and my problems like I never had to before. I had to focus on the things that I could control (anxiety, depression) rather than the things that were out of my hands(perceptual disturbances). This was not an easy process at all. I struggled immensely for a year before I developed the coping skills I needed to allow myself to be happy. One of the biggest turning points for me was when I was finally able to forgive myself for the long series of decisions I made to get myself caught up in in everything. I fortunately haven't had any other trauma in my life, but that almost made it harder to forgive myself for creating such a traumatic event for myself all because I wanted to get high. I also thin that it was important that I accepted the fact that HPPD was a part of me; this is the way I see things now and that ok. In fact its more than ok! I have a hugely different perspective on life than I did before and I think that is one of my biggest assets in life. I couldn't imagine where I would be if HPPD didn't come into my life (probably still getting high off of stupid shit all of the time with no future plans).
HPPD helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life (though I almost dropped out because of it)
HPPD is the reason I became a social worker and have a great job that I love
HPPD helped me learn the communication skills I needed to open up to someone and have an actual meaningful relationship with someone
HPPD stopped me from doing drugs allowing me to eventually become an all-american in cross country.
HPPD taught me how to enjoy life while coping with insomnia, depression, and anxiety
HPPD made me the man I am today
I used to blame HPPD for making my life miserable, but now I see it as an integral part of my life. Wish you guys all the best. - Josh
Hello everyone. To give some context, I'm a freshman in college that has had weed occasionally over the last 2 years. Nowhere near the amount of my friends.
This year though, some friends and I've only tried LSD twice. The first time was 100ug, the second time (this November on Thanksgiving break) was 240ug. I had no problems after the first time. After the second time though, I was consumed with anxiety. I didn't have a proper comedown and basically had a really bad trip in the end. For about 3 weeks following this, I had visual static, starbursts when I closed my eyes, and noticing walls breathing/patterns moving. Little tiny floaters. One of the worst parts about this was the INCREDIBLY vivid dreams/nightmares I had. I had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. With all of these symptoms combined, I became a depressed anxious mess. Eventually, these symptoms subsided around 4 weeks later and my school's Winter break came along.
Feeling cocky and back on top of things, I decided to try weed again with my friends. I smoked 2 times and everything was fine. On New Years Eve, I had a very strong edible. During my high I could see the visual static coming back. Over the next week, ALL of my symptoms came back and the "after images" and static actually seems worse. I had my first nightmare again and for the last 2 weeks I've had vivid dreams/nightmares ever since. Not being able to sleep through the whole night.
Now I'm sitting here knowing full well that I was almost completely recovered in under a month and I screwed it all up for myself and made it worse. Last time I was feeling better within 4 weeks. Abstaining from everything (even caffeine), taking vitamins, going on walks, meditating.
Since I didn't take LSD again and it was just weed, how can I expect my recovery to be now? How much did I just set myself back with weed?