I was wondering if they are around here people who can give us a testimonial of complete hppd recovery.
Means no more symptoms at all, complete reverse to normal.
If so, how did it happen, was it permanent ?
How long did you endure HPPD ?
Thanks in advance.I did experience one complete recovery when i was 18, 6 month after i got the first HPPD signs. I remember I had one smart drink loaded with Taurine, and i had that cheering feeling that my friends loved me. Maybe we smoked too that day. I was i the street, and then suddenly, It was gone, the snow and all. I felt again my 2 feet, grounded on earth. It was 100% reversed.
Unfortunatly, it came back after a party with a very little shroom dosage. I remember the morning i was looking at the fire in the country side and it was back...
25 years ago...it's still there, and i'm not paying attention to it. but Damn, i wish i could figure out how to get rid of it still !
I've had HPPD for 4 years now following a few years of heavy drug use and the main culprates which were 2 life changing bad trips which left me with severe PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and many other problems, or atlesst it exacerbated my already unrecognized childhood issues which I thought weren't too bad or gen non existent.
The point of this thread was to share my story and what I've learned to find hope and happiness, even oneness with myself.
Im still in the thick of HPPD recovery in the sense that I still suffer daily with the fear, ocd's phobias and manic depression but I have found what I'd call enlightenment or what I think is Thebes start of.
during recovery I've tried to find every answer, I changed my diet I've been completely sober of all substance for 2 years, I had an emasculate routine and diet, I did exercise everyday, all revolved around my illness HPPD and other illness, I was a slave to my mind.
In simple I found acceptance, I also realized I was part of a spiritual journey, I know to many it sounds naff, it did to me for years but when you find acceptance to your HPPD and acceptance to the fact you've become part of a higher spiritual initiation (is what's I call Amir as it makes sense to me and I hope to you) it becomes easier.
the main issue with HPPD is questioning it, fighting it, researching WHY, but the answers only come the day you decide to live and accept whatever the fucks going on which trust me I know at times can feel like interdimentional head fuckery - so you guys know I've been to the darkest depths of this illness - I've anxiety so bad I thought I became fear it's self whatever that is, I've traveled into distant realms of depression, anger and emotional retardation, I tried to end my life twice Andy became and out and out drug addict in attempt to resolve it but what helped me again was accepting what was... just was.. it's bigger then me, it's higher then me or at least my self and my ego so just let it happen. The article that essentially triggered this view on life for me explained that most of us experiencing these extreme feelings, emotionally retarded, anxiety, visuals are those who have been swept into an ego death or spiritual birth which they explain a lot better, i know it may sound ridiculous to some and I was one of those some, so I'd recommend highly to accept it. Accept the feelings and your happier better soul will give birth, resist these feelings and fight the illness and it'll grow as it's a clever cunt.
This is the article which explains acceptance and the ego death.
P.S. don't rule out other coping mechanisms, they all help in some ways or at least most of them, diet, routine and medication. Ive tried almost every medication but it wasn't for me but I have heard of some cases that helped hugely.
P.P.S. Specific to HPPDers, when you find acceptance, your ego and visuals will get worse or should I say they did in my case for a bit, they're part of your ego or stleast the negative part of your HPPD is so they react like a child and try to cling onto your self as if they don't want to die which is what the birth of your soul will do. I'd also like to mention I am no pro, I am just going off experience, I have just practiced mindfulness, meditations and spirituality during my recovery.
I hope this helps anyone suffering or even those not sufferent, just looking for a bit of help.
So im 17 and summer is coming up in one week. I've had pretty minor hppd for about 8 months, and I just want this to go away. All my friends smoke weed and I feel so left out not smoking with them. This leaves me pondering a crucial question: should I just say fuck it and start blazing again or should I dedicate this summer to recovery and mental growth to see if I can still recover? I just miss smoking so much but if I knew for a fact that I would fully recover in a year I would be willing to not drink or do drugs until months after I am fully recovered. What should I do it's killing me? My symptoms are:
slight trails in some lighting
walls breathing if I pay attention