Hi, I'm 16 and 5 months ago I smoked weed for the first time, never have taken any sort of drug before that. I had a really bad trip, followed by panic attacks and heavy depersonalization/derealization. When I woke up the next day for the whole entire week it looked like everything was in fast forward. After that week the world started to look dreamlike out of nowhere and then I got used to the symptom (especially after I knew it couldn't hurt me) and it kinda went away, my dp/dr was going away too but I was still pretty anxious and shaken up by the whole experience. About 2 months ago I was walking down the street and my vision started focusing and unfocusing, and I was back in a dream state. I started experiencing all types of really scary visual symptoms like static, after-images, looking up in the sky and seeing all these little tiny white dots (SO MANY), vision skips, tunnel vision, flashing whenever I look at lights, I even have seen colors or glimmers on walls before. Objects have violently shaken up until I blinked, when I bite down on my nail everything goes up and down with it (it's really hard to explain) or when I chew the whole world shakes with every bite. I can't look up, down, then side to side or else my eyes feel so fucked. I have this head pressure 24/7, reading is hard as the letters shift every 10 seconds. I am so so scared, I know you guys probably don't care but before this, I was a really good student, ran track, had plans of going to college and I can't even walk outside now without everything looking so fucking weird. I feel like I'm going crazy. Did I permanently fuck up my brain? Does this even sound like Hppd or something else? I have no one else to really talk to about this because no one else in my life understands, everyone I know just smokes weed and it perfectly fine, Please please if you have ANY advice or can relate to any of my symptoms I would really appreciate it.
Just found out that this forum exists and a few months ago what HPPD is. Figured I share my story what made me come here sadly
Around year ago I did my first ever psychedelic around 50ug of LSD, even before that a year I did 2-3 times MDMA, for the first days I didnt notice anything unusual, I felt good actually. Then came the strange morphings in my visions in low light conditions, I actually saw my tattoo on my forearm become a full sleeve on my arm, for many months after still...strange feeling, I immediately know whats going on, some kind of after effect of the LSD, so I got scared away from psychedelics,...after that I only touched weed which I had no problem with it, up until this point, a few weeks ago, I been on a really down point of my life, been struggling with anxiety and depression most my life, but the last few years I felt like its getting better, however, I figured I give a try to microdosing LSD, maybe I will get my life together with the help of it. I always looked at drugs as tools, never as something just for fun, so I started 2 weeks ago, taking around ~30ug, then 3 days off, and again..until the 4th time, I felt positive I really thought this can help me, get things set in my life. but...after the last dosage, on the next day I went to bed for an afternoon sleep, got a weird like LSD dream, which best I could describe as the oncoming of LSD that feeling, that gets stronger and stronger, at that point I woke up, all of a sudden, panting and somewhat scared,.. with a ringing ear(tinnitus) and mild visual snow,(i think i had it before but now more aware maybe?!, and the floaters. I knew what was going on, HPPD - because around 2-3 months ago I bumped into this HPPD thing, so I briefly looked it up.
Like everyone else here, I'm also scared that I have two live with this and just wont go away, and literally no cure for it,
Also annoyed by the fact that didn't even properly had the chance to know more about psychedelics, because I still want to know whats my mind has inside, but my well being is more important.
However I gonna stop experimenting, even with weed, been on regularly weed(2-3times a week) which helped me the most, but I tried smoking few days ago, and made the tinnitus worse sooo...,
I'm just try and gonna focus on things that matter now, stay focused, get goals, live life without fears, get a better life!
I just really wish the ringing would go away, thats really annoying, I don't wanna focus on it and dwell on it every time I hear it in my head, but it's there..hopefully gonna slowly go away.
Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first time posting. I believe I am a minor sufferer of HPPD. I have used several psychedelics a small number of times (LSD, 2cb, mdma) and a few months ago whilst taking mdma near the end of the high I smoked a joint to help me sleep and a few minutes after strong visuals onset and I had a strongly visual psychedelic experience akin to LSD lasting 4-6 hours. Ever since then I have had visual snow (more pronounced in very low light) and eye floaters when it is bright. I get closed eye visuals sometimes. I still smoke weed which makes the visuals worse but still much less prominent than the visuals on a full acid trip. When I sober up the visual snow goes back it's normal level. Since reading about HPPD the advice seems to be stopping taking all drugs but I really enjoy smoking weed as it brings me a lot of wellness and mental health benefits. I would like to continue to do so if possible. It has been 4 or 5 months since the HPPD started and my symptoms have not worsened. I am wondering if there is anyone that has this condition that still can smoke weed without Ill effect? Is it feasible that I could continue to do this?
Hello guys, it's been a year since i had the same problem as you. Always exactly 1 year I took 150ug of LSD and had a terrible bad trip that traumatized me and left me sequels. I had flashbacks and I missed a lot because of it. Distorted visions in my peripheral field. All this was cured with antipsychotics, especially risperidone (I can not remember the dosage). But what it took to be cured was the emotional sequel that caused me. Psychedelic experiences transform you radically and unfortunately if you are not prepared for them it may take a long time for you to get back on track and I confess that I am not yet 100% healed of this trauma. But what I can say to you is that the worst of all this is not the visions, but the horrible thoughts that go through our heads thanks to the anxiety that causes us. And what I want to know about this post is just that. What are the thoughts that torment you because of this anxiety? Write them in the comments and we'll help each other by talking about them. For example, I used to think all the time that I was getting schizophrenic, that there would be some outbreak, over time this evolved into existential crises where I thought my soul was lost in space time and I was not living reality, just watching it (depersonalization and derealization helped in this).
Last year in December, I had a really bad trip with two of my close friends. One of my friends geeked out and had ego death, but we were all tripping so hard we didn’t realize so we all thought he was being super weird. So me and my other friend left him to be because he wanted us to leave him so he can be alone and try to ground himself. After my friend and I dipped, we smoked a joint and rolled up a full gram of wax in it while I was coming down from the trip. I feel like this is what triggered some of my HPPD (if I even have it) Since then, Ive had somewhat foggy, grainy vision, mild tracers, and sometimes Id see halos around people when thered be a bright light behind them (for example during my HS graduation my principal was speaking and there were like 5 bright lights behind her and infront, causing a halo like effect around her). Besides my visual symptoms, I suddenly started having problems looking people in the eye which has significantly decreased ever since I stopped smoking weed 60 days ago. I feel like weed was making some stuff worse so I quit cold turkey aftwr 2 years of daily smoking. I dont know if Id have depersonalization but sometimes I just have nothing to say to people when they talk to me like Im just so much in my head that I dont care and tune out of what they say, though this has significantly decreased ever since I quit smoking weed. I still have some visual effecta though, and i dont know if thats hppd or not or just aftwr wffects from smoking a gram of wax and weed while coming down from an acid trip. Can someone please tell me if this is HPPD or not? Thanks for all your guys’ help.