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NotMyself

High all the time

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My dp/dr, hppd was brought on by numerous use of dmt, mushrooms 4 times, and went through a phase where I smoked marijuana frequently. I've ceased all drug used since this began and only had alcohol onced less 5 months ago.

My hppd symptoms was very mild and it honestly didn't bother me for the first 2 months since all my problem began back in November.

I've suffered various dp/dr symptoms that greatly disturbed me and still do even til now and HPPD didn't cause me any fear because I didnt have it full blown like heavy static, visual snow, afterimage etc. It was mostly just random black or white or blue dots appearing in my vision every now and then and this also happens when I close my eyes to go to sleep.

The real problem began about a week and a half or two ago and basically I feel high but more like coming off of a trippy weed high (sour diesel was trippy for me when I was really baked and staring at clouds). The whole world looks trippy and wrong and my mind is trippy as well.

I started seeing faces when looking at the front and back of cars and also cars and trees looks like they have personality. Clouds looks like they are figured and have shapes, kinda like seeing angels or animals. I can't really unsee it when I notice them even though I know mentally that they are clouds, cars, trees etc. Anyway, these are just the most obvious ones but basically a lot of other things in the everyday external environment I look at could look wrong and trippy. I'm uncertain if I'm just being obsessive or paranoid for the most part because sometimes just looking at letters or texts on computer screen can look wrong but I don't notice it if I don't think about it.

Mentally, my thought process is kinda stoned too. Slightly paranoid and obsessive. I'm frequently paranoid that people will notice something is off or thinking my employer isn't satisfied with me. Rational thinking says they have other things to concentrate on than to watch you through security cameras and catching your mistakes. 

The only interesting side to this is that music seems enhanced and sometimes the sky can look brilliant if there's sunshine and lots of clouds. 

I just wanted to know if anyone in this forum have had experienced or relate to this and or had it go away completely. I'm kinda hoping that this high feeling and thought process is just dp/dr related.

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I can definately relate.  I smoked quite a bit of DMT back in the day.  I also dosed for about six years.  Seeing shapes in the clouds and especially the trees is an ongoing symptom for me.  I understand how, at times, it can be interesting and even entertaining but, like you, I can't "unsee" these things.  I can't touch cannabis because my visuals get out of hand and my thoughts (and heart) race.  Staying clear of psychoactive substances, which you're already doing, is the best medicine.  I used to feel like I was tripping all the time but that symptom went away after a number of years.  Now I just have the visuals. 

 

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When I first got HPPD I felt high all the time. Like many have described, it's sorta the same feeling as coming down off getting really stoned. This actually faded pretty fast but DP-DR has persisted. As long as you stay away from drugs it will dissipate in time -- it just might take a few years. 

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My worst symptom too... I have been high for 21 years now! Like the final 1/2 hours of a heavy acid trip. All the fun and learning has long left, but the trippyness is still there, with the bonus prize of dysphoria and anxiety

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im too high and shit to read it but im moving to cali soon lol. 

 

yeah my DP still is here and it makes me depressed at times

 

Just remembered to log onto hppd online i havent logged in in a while lol 

Edited by LethargicAcid
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I think it might be dp/dr related more than HPPD because hppd is more of a visual issue rather than a physical/mental symptoms which dp is. Plus my experience with this is that the level to which I experience it is not persistent (which hppd is) like sometimes i almost don't feel it. I think this is the same with seeing faces in cars, trees and clouds because it's not really obvious unless I go out looking for it or when my dp is really bad. I came to this conclusion based on a lot of research on dp/dr and hppd. Mentally and physically, you shouldn't be trippy or high anymore once the psychoactive substance leave the brain. The thing that makes it hard to conclude whether it's one or the other is that people with this symptom also has dp/dr in most if not in all cases. 

I could be wrong, when this symptom came up I started to experience strong hypnagogic/hypomanic hallucinations and my visual symptoms started increasing too. I now see slight and fast trailing when I move my phone really quickly with the screen open. This morning i thought I had my eyes opened and was looking at my phone until I realized that im actually still sleeping and my phone is on my futon. Plus I experienced other really strong hallucinations as well as I was falling back to sleep and thought I was gonna wake up with a full blown hallucination and afraid that I would be sent to a nut house. 

Despite only having mild visual symptoms, the intensity of the hypnagogic/hypnopompic hallucinations and feeling like I'm still dreaming isn't helping me feel optimistic. I honestly could not imagine it getting this bad 5 or 6 weeks ago because I was clear of drugs for nearly 7 months now.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on my theory?

 

 

Edited by NotMyself
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Its dpdr.

Look up euphoric recall. Probably the same thing happening in the brain/nervous system but with a negative bent.

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