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    • By LethargicAcid
      hey I decided I finally would upload a video about hppd  gonna upload on youtube
       
      WIN_20171117_060240.MP4
    • By Bursting Aura
       I have only done about 10 hours of research on this, which is not much. Ideally I would like a couple more weeks to wrap my head around something before I recommend it and I need time to see the long-term effects for me also. But I have a strong inclination to quickly get this information to the group, so perhaps this will help someone else suffering. Maybe this works, maybe it doesn't. I cannot recommend this as a cure, but I can only say this has helped me. However, I am not sure if it placebo. Anyways, I did an 18 hour fast and it helped with my HPPD.

                   I will keep the anecdote short, because anecdotes never matter. What really matters is science and peer-review. I did this short-fast because I saw someone on here mention in a success story of curing HPPD on a 3 day fast. Someone commenting suggesting that it has to do with "neurogenesis". I did research on neurogenesis and it happens throughout our lives, such as during exercise or sex, so it doesn’t seem very significant. But, I stumbled upon a term called "autophagy"
      ah-ta-fa-gee. Researching this process gave me motivation to try a 18 hour fast. My HPPD since then has gotten better. On a scale of 1-10 my symptoms have been at a 5 since Saturday, when they usually average about 7 or 8. I am theorizing my symptoms decreased because fasting induces autophagy.

                  Here is Autophagy from an article . "Short-term fasting induces profound neuronal autophagy"
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3106288/ Autophagy is a key homeostatic mechanism whose physiological importance is reflected by its preservation throughout the eukaryotic phylogenetic tree, from yeast to mammals. In recent years, autophagy has been recognized as a crucial defense mechanism against malignancy, infection and neurodegenerative diseases

                          Here is another definition. "Autophagy: cellular and molecular mechanisms" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2990190/ Autophagy is a self-degradative process that is important for balancing sources of energy at critical times in development and in response to nutrient stress. Autophagy also plays a housekeeping role in removing misfolded or aggregated proteins, clearing damaged organelles, such as mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum and peroxisomes, as well as eliminating intracellular pathogens. Thus, autophagy is generally thought of as a survival mechanism. Autophagy is strongly induced by starvation and is a key component of the adaptive response of cells and organisms to nutrient deprivation that promotes survival until nutrients become available again.

                     Stay with me here. But it pretty much takes out damaged cells from our brains and recycles them in the liver. This process is activated via fasting.
      "Neuronal autophagy: going the distance to the axon." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18000396/ Furthermore, our study implicates dysfunction of axonal autophagy as a potential mechanism underlying axonopathy, which is linked to neurodegeneration associated with numerous human neurological disorders
      Let me know what you think, I am always prepared to be entirely wrong. There is no research on a link between autophagy and HPPD obviously. So I am assuming a causal relationship that bad neurons are the cause of HPPD.

                   Here are more articles. I am hoping someone can partner and help me with this.
      "Disruption of Neuronal Autophagy by Infected Microglia Results in Neurodegeneration" http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0002906
      "Constitutive autophagy: vital role in clearance of unfavorable proteins in neurons." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17332773/
      I found 2 posts of anecdotal claims.
      2013 bluelight.com post about fasting curing hppd. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/archive/index.php/t-688613.html
      2017 Reddit.com hppd forum success story about fasting curing hppd https://www.reddit.com/r/HPPD/comments/6ybbcs/success_story/
                          You can do an easy 18-hour fast by not eating after dinner at 5pm, and then not eating until noon the next day. Make sure you are healthy and talk to your doctor. I would like a couple people to try this to see if this actually works. I am going to start another fast today and I will report back in a week or so. Hopefully it works.
                      Potential adverse effects for women. there are claims that fasting can cause missed periods.  Also, unfortunately it seems autophagy is less profound with females. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19036730/ In other words, the damaged neurons have a harder time dying off. For men, fasting will temporary lower testosterone. Do your own research and talk to your doctor.
    • By gabriel
      I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English.
      About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things.
      What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy.
      This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
    • By HDDeer
      I don't really know where else to vent about this, in all honesty, it's really bothering me that this could go on for so long, anyways let me begin. 
      This is just a thought of mine I have, and I don't want anyone to judge me for it because I feel like it could make me kinda sound delusional. 
      Let me begin,
      It's been about a year now since I first touched mdma, I remember when I first got my hands on it, I did it on Christmas eve and Christmas, lied to my family about where I was, i was doing it hours before work, there was a point when I did it something like 5 nights in a row. I picked up cocaine a few times which made me extremely suicidal, there was actually one time I had myself convinced i was going to spend all my money in my bank account on blow in hopes it would kill me(I don't know if it actually would have, and I still don't know if it would, I was just really reckless), it was a relatively rough period for me.
      I never had hppd during that period of time though. 
      But mdma, I did stop doing it as I couldn't find pure stuff anymore. I ended up stumbling upon mushrooms and lsd, the first time I took acid, best experience I've ever had in my entire life. Mushroom trips while not good, always helped me with my other neurological disorder. 
      Then I got hppd after a bad acid trip, I'm here now 7 months later, I think things have gotten better in terms of visuals, for the most part my anxiety is usually non-existent. 
      But every time my hppd is beginning to show improvements, I find my drug addiction comes back harder and harder. I ask myself most times, is it even possible to truly have an addiction 9 months after the last time you even touched the drug? You wouldn't think so. Maybe it's just my mental state.
      I should correct myself, the last time I was doing hard drugs faithfully was 9 months ago, I did end up doing a Molly capsule back in June, that nobody even knows of, not my girlfriend not anyone in my family, only my nephew whose a few months younger than me. It definitely made my hppd worse, it has gotten better since, though my ghosting was virtually non existent before, and now while it's going away again, it's definitely a lot slower going away than it was before. 
      Now, my hppd is finally getting better again, my mental capacity is so lacking, that I can't seem to get it through to myself that drugs put me here, mdma made it worse, but I find myself being drawn back into it. I have so much trouble fighting my urges. 
      I know it's not a life to live, hppd or not hppd.
      My mom died back in 2010, and I'm relatively confident that I suffer from dp/dr because of it, my emotions are relatively numb, I feel like I don't care about my family like the normal person should. Drugs filled that void my mom left there when she died. It's been so long that I truly do not know wether or not if what i feel is normal, personally, something does feel off, and it did before hppd happened. 
      Sometimes I kinda wonder, if my mom or even the universe for that matter, sees that I have some kind of purpose for good, which is why I was thrown into this mess with hppd to stop an addiction from getting worse, to fulfill something meaningful.
      Granted, it's very important to me to help someone, or change at least one person's life for good while I'm here, so maybe I'm just really lost in my own mind and this is all some weird ploy I came up with to comfort myself with this mess I'm in. 
      I just really hope something in my life changes soon, because while my hppd may not be getting worse, something about my life is. 
      I have a new job as a security guard, I work shift work, 7 days on and 7 days off, 12 hour shifts. And while it does pay decent, I just don't truly think it's for me. I want to do something meaningful.
      Sorry for the rant guys, haven't posted on here in a while and my urges and just my life all around have been coming in full swing, needed people I could relate to, to see this. 
      Thank you. 
    • By cneves
      Hello everyone,

      First of all, I'm really sorry for everyone here that suffers from HPPD, derealization, depersonalization, anxiety, depression, panic attacks and other symptoms. 

      I'm a journalism student at Anglia Ruskin University, UK. As my final project, I'm making a documentary about HPPD as a way to raise awareness for this condition. 

      I know about HPPD because of my boyfriend, he's been having it for almost 2 years now and this is my way of trying to understand him better and my way of trying to help in any way I can. 

      For my documentary, I'd like to talk to other people with HPPD, because everyone experiences it differently. If any of you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me, you can contact me at this email - c.neves@outlook.pt
      Your help would be truly appreciated.
      Thank you so much in advance, 
      Carolina Neves
       
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gschppd

Do i have HPPD or Anxiety Disorder?

9 posts in this topic

I am new to this forum so it would only be polite to say hello to everyone and if anyone could help I would be very grateful.

In 2011 I had a very bad acid trip after my 1st time taking the drug, like other people that have had bad trips I will keep it short by saying I saw some pretty crazy things and it took me three days to come back to normal, which I thought never would happen.

I haven't taken acid since 2011 and I never will again as it was the worst experience of my life, however from 2011 to October 2016 I was a regular consumer of cocaine, weed and at some point mdma every weekend for 6 months. Anther drug I have tried only a few times is Ketamine which again sent me into a crazy trip, it knocked me out (k hole) but went when I woke up. I feel I should add from 2014 to 2016 I smoked a lot of weed, like a half OZ every couple of days, and not just any weed, this was some strong stuff. Anyway getting to the point in October 2016 I was taking cocaine and smoking weed with my cousin, I didn't sleep and went to work the next day but went home early as I felt really bad, laying in my bed thinking I was going to have a heart attack. From that day I developed what seemed to be exhausting health anxiety, I got head pains, chest pains, pains in my arms couldn't breath, went to A&E and they said I had anxiety. I eventually moved back home as I couldn't be by myself. I went to my local doctors who said I had anxiety and depression and prescribed me propranolol and citalopram. The propranolol helped calm me down but the Citalopram really messed my head up and to this day I am convinced I have some sort of HPPD, and am looking for someone to agree with me or convince me otherwise. Since taking citalopram my vision changed, I see noses and ears slightly more pointed, and still persists to this day, my ears are constantly ringing, floaters which are noticeable all day, Visual snow ,eye strain, I'm sensitive to light, headaches and light trails aswell for example if I look at the TV and look away I can still see the TV light. I know from reading other stories on this forum that my symptoms are very mild compared, but I am not convinced that it is just anxiety. I have stopped smoking weed I still smoke cigarettes, and very stupidly I have taken cocaine twice in the last 5 months which left my body on edge for over a month a time. I also cant consume sugar drinks because it makes my body really on edge, caffeine, I cant even drink tea without feeling like Ive just drunk 10 espressos. Seen a private psychiatrist who diagnosed me with anxiety disorder, but I have never mentioned HPPD to him as I didn't feel confident enough to. Last thing I will add I suppose the thing that makes me think I have some form of mild HPPD is the Vision changes in peoples ears and noses that convinces me the most, especially after trying an SSRI, its a very strange side effect which my doctor cant really explain. I'm trying CBT next week to see how I get on but if anyone could relate, or at least give me some idea on if I have HPPD or similar to what they have read before it would be a great help. I have accepted that something is wrong with me, but the way I see it is if you want to get high then there will be consequences, and I am feeling them now.

Thank you for your consideration G.C

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Hello and welcome.  I'm new to this site as well.  

I know that cocaine and stong cannabis can cause anxiety even after succession of use.  However, hppd can do the same thing but there are a host of symptoms that can go along with it.  I'm no doctor so I can't make any diagnosis.  What I can suggest is staying sober for some time to see what happens to the symptoms.  Please understand I'm not suggesting that you discontinue prescribed medication because your doctor is qualified to make that decision and I'm not.

I've never brought up hppd with my doctor (well, once) because I didn't even know it had a name until very recently.  However, at my next physical I'm going to bring print out describing hppd and bring it along.  

 

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Definitely sounds like you have HPPD. Tinnitus, afterimages, visual snow, eye strain, trails and light sensitivity are all very common HPPD symptoms. Also the fact you've done lots of drugs and consequentially have visual, emotional and cognitive health issues suggests HPPD as well. There's no doctor that can diagnose you with this condition so you just have to decide whether you think your problems align with HPPD but from everything you've described it sure sounds like you're part of the group! Best thing you can do now is abstain from all drugs, eat healthy, exercise and take all the standard steps to repair your health. 

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thank you for your replies i appreciate it, i do not think my symptoms are as bad as others I have heard about, but as i said ive never heard of someones vision changing or warping from anxiety, i have an appointment with cbt therapist on friday ill mention it to him, do you mind me asking what symptoms you have meaning K.B Fante and Mad doc. Is there a chance it will go? is it permanent or can it be resolved and is their any doctor out there that actually diagnoses this?

regards G.C

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Hi gschppd.  My primary symptom is that I see patterns on just about everything if I stare at it for more that a few seconds.  Especially surfaces with a fine grain.  Sand, concrete, grass, curtains, carpets, etc.  I start seeing shapes that slowly morph into faces, animals, strange symbols, or just some things that are just bizarre.  They're not invasive.  If I look away they disappear.  When I look back they start to reform but they're never the same twice.  They're not three dimensional and they don't speak to me or anything.  They're just "there".  I don't get visual snow, after images, trails, or warping.  Instead, It's like everything has this strange "motif" of its surface.  I've had this since I was 14.  I'm 57 now so, for me, it's never going away I suspect.  That being said it's not nearly as bad as it used to be and in reality it doesn't bother me much anymore.  I've had it for so long that it's just part of me.  I used to have terrible anxiety but that too has significantly moderated with age.  I can't say what may happen with your condition.  I'm not an expert in any way shape or form and I'm no doctor.  I hope your appointment with the therapist goes well.  Hang in there.

Edited by MadDoc
Foolish typing
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5 hours ago, gschppd said:

thank you for your replies i appreciate it, i do not think my symptoms are as bad as others I have heard about, but as i said ive never heard of someones vision changing or warping from anxiety, i have an appointment with cbt therapist on friday ill mention it to him, do you mind me asking what symptoms you have meaning K.B Fante and Mad doc. Is there a chance it will go? is it permanent or can it be resolved and is their any doctor out there that actually diagnoses this?

regards G.C

Like MadDoc, I had severe "warping" when I first got HPPD, especially when I stared at something for more than about three seconds. I remember sitting in my bathroom a few days after getting HPPD, staring at the rug in front of me and literally just tripping balls as the whole entire room started swirling and breathing. This symptom has drastically decreased in the last two years since getting HPPD but if I stare at something for more than a few seconds I can still watch it start to move and breathe a little bit, but it's not anything that bothers me because I just move my eyes and it's gone. 

I've had really terrible Depersonalization-Derealization this entire time. I'd say this is by far the worst part of my HPPD. My voice sounds foreign, I have absolutely nightmarish macropsia (where objects that are closer to me appear bigger), shrunken depth perception (at first it was like seeing the world as a cartoon in 2-D), a loose mind-body connection, etc. In terms of strict HPPD symptoms I have streamers from almost anything that moves, afterimages (but only at night), visual snow, halos (but only around really bright objects that contrast with a darker background) and so on. I used to terrible brain fog but that pretty much cleared up as I started eating healthier and limiting sugar. 

The good news is every single one of my symptoms has improved in the 22 months since getting HPPD. But it's been no easy ride getting here as I've had to work my ass off every single day and had to deal with terrible suicide ideation for most of this time. I really believe that if you immediately stop all drugs (including alcohol, caffeine, excess sugar, cigarettes, etc.), do all sorts of exercises and eat really healthy you give yourself a great chance of a full recovery. I can't speak for everyone but it does seem like many people get better through living a healthy lifestyle and abstaining from drugs. 

In terms of getting diagnosed, you could get in contact with Henry Abraham as he's one of the leading medical professionals who's studied HPPD, however you'll have to fly to Boston where he lives and he'll likely just tell you what you already know. If you have HPPD symptoms and got them from drugs then you likely have HPPD. There's no form someone can hand you that confirms this, you just have to self diagnose from reading on the Internet basically. 

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Thanks for you reply DOC do people recover, like all symptoms gone? Or is it different from person to person

Regards G.C

 

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On 08/03/2017 at 0:56 PM, gschppd said:

Do people recover, like all symptoms gone? Or is it different from person to person

That differs a lot. But it seems that for most it is a very gradual process. That's certainly been the case for me. My HPPD was/is fairly typical in most respects: arising from heavy use of psychedelics, visual symptoms dominated by patterning, moving splotches of colour, morphing etc. Some derealization, dizziness, anxiety. Most of it has gotten a lot better over the course of four years, but it hasn't completely subsided.

I should mention, though, that Keppra did help with the visual side of things, when it was prescribed to me.

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