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    • By LethargicAcid
      hey I decided I finally would upload a video about hppd  gonna upload on youtube
       
      WIN_20171117_060240.MP4
    • By Bursting Aura
       I have only done about 10 hours of research on this, which is not much. Ideally I would like a couple more weeks to wrap my head around something before I recommend it and I need time to see the long-term effects for me also. But I have a strong inclination to quickly get this information to the group, so perhaps this will help someone else suffering. Maybe this works, maybe it doesn't. I cannot recommend this as a cure, but I can only say this has helped me. However, I am not sure if it placebo. Anyways, I did an 18 hour fast and it helped with my HPPD.

                   I will keep the anecdote short, because anecdotes never matter. What really matters is science and peer-review. I did this short-fast because I saw someone on here mention in a success story of curing HPPD on a 3 day fast. Someone commenting suggesting that it has to do with "neurogenesis". I did research on neurogenesis and it happens throughout our lives, such as during exercise or sex, so it doesn’t seem very significant. But, I stumbled upon a term called "autophagy"
      ah-ta-fa-gee. Researching this process gave me motivation to try a 18 hour fast. My HPPD since then has gotten better. On a scale of 1-10 my symptoms have been at a 5 since Saturday, when they usually average about 7 or 8. I am theorizing my symptoms decreased because fasting induces autophagy.

                  Here is Autophagy from an article . "Short-term fasting induces profound neuronal autophagy"
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3106288/ Autophagy is a key homeostatic mechanism whose physiological importance is reflected by its preservation throughout the eukaryotic phylogenetic tree, from yeast to mammals. In recent years, autophagy has been recognized as a crucial defense mechanism against malignancy, infection and neurodegenerative diseases

                          Here is another definition. "Autophagy: cellular and molecular mechanisms" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2990190/ Autophagy is a self-degradative process that is important for balancing sources of energy at critical times in development and in response to nutrient stress. Autophagy also plays a housekeeping role in removing misfolded or aggregated proteins, clearing damaged organelles, such as mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum and peroxisomes, as well as eliminating intracellular pathogens. Thus, autophagy is generally thought of as a survival mechanism. Autophagy is strongly induced by starvation and is a key component of the adaptive response of cells and organisms to nutrient deprivation that promotes survival until nutrients become available again.

                     Stay with me here. But it pretty much takes out damaged cells from our brains and recycles them in the liver. This process is activated via fasting.
      "Neuronal autophagy: going the distance to the axon." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18000396/ Furthermore, our study implicates dysfunction of axonal autophagy as a potential mechanism underlying axonopathy, which is linked to neurodegeneration associated with numerous human neurological disorders
      Let me know what you think, I am always prepared to be entirely wrong. There is no research on a link between autophagy and HPPD obviously. So I am assuming a causal relationship that bad neurons are the cause of HPPD.

                   Here are more articles. I am hoping someone can partner and help me with this.
      "Disruption of Neuronal Autophagy by Infected Microglia Results in Neurodegeneration" http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0002906
      "Constitutive autophagy: vital role in clearance of unfavorable proteins in neurons." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17332773/
      I found 2 posts of anecdotal claims.
      2013 bluelight.com post about fasting curing hppd. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/archive/index.php/t-688613.html
      2017 Reddit.com hppd forum success story about fasting curing hppd https://www.reddit.com/r/HPPD/comments/6ybbcs/success_story/
                          You can do an easy 18-hour fast by not eating after dinner at 5pm, and then not eating until noon the next day. Make sure you are healthy and talk to your doctor. I would like a couple people to try this to see if this actually works. I am going to start another fast today and I will report back in a week or so. Hopefully it works.
                      Potential adverse effects for women. there are claims that fasting can cause missed periods.  Also, unfortunately it seems autophagy is less profound with females. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19036730/ In other words, the damaged neurons have a harder time dying off. For men, fasting will temporary lower testosterone. Do your own research and talk to your doctor.
    • By gabriel
      I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English.
      About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things.
      What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy.
      This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
    • By HDDeer
      I don't really know where else to vent about this, in all honesty, it's really bothering me that this could go on for so long, anyways let me begin. 
      This is just a thought of mine I have, and I don't want anyone to judge me for it because I feel like it could make me kinda sound delusional. 
      Let me begin,
      It's been about a year now since I first touched mdma, I remember when I first got my hands on it, I did it on Christmas eve and Christmas, lied to my family about where I was, i was doing it hours before work, there was a point when I did it something like 5 nights in a row. I picked up cocaine a few times which made me extremely suicidal, there was actually one time I had myself convinced i was going to spend all my money in my bank account on blow in hopes it would kill me(I don't know if it actually would have, and I still don't know if it would, I was just really reckless), it was a relatively rough period for me.
      I never had hppd during that period of time though. 
      But mdma, I did stop doing it as I couldn't find pure stuff anymore. I ended up stumbling upon mushrooms and lsd, the first time I took acid, best experience I've ever had in my entire life. Mushroom trips while not good, always helped me with my other neurological disorder. 
      Then I got hppd after a bad acid trip, I'm here now 7 months later, I think things have gotten better in terms of visuals, for the most part my anxiety is usually non-existent. 
      But every time my hppd is beginning to show improvements, I find my drug addiction comes back harder and harder. I ask myself most times, is it even possible to truly have an addiction 9 months after the last time you even touched the drug? You wouldn't think so. Maybe it's just my mental state.
      I should correct myself, the last time I was doing hard drugs faithfully was 9 months ago, I did end up doing a Molly capsule back in June, that nobody even knows of, not my girlfriend not anyone in my family, only my nephew whose a few months younger than me. It definitely made my hppd worse, it has gotten better since, though my ghosting was virtually non existent before, and now while it's going away again, it's definitely a lot slower going away than it was before. 
      Now, my hppd is finally getting better again, my mental capacity is so lacking, that I can't seem to get it through to myself that drugs put me here, mdma made it worse, but I find myself being drawn back into it. I have so much trouble fighting my urges. 
      I know it's not a life to live, hppd or not hppd.
      My mom died back in 2010, and I'm relatively confident that I suffer from dp/dr because of it, my emotions are relatively numb, I feel like I don't care about my family like the normal person should. Drugs filled that void my mom left there when she died. It's been so long that I truly do not know wether or not if what i feel is normal, personally, something does feel off, and it did before hppd happened. 
      Sometimes I kinda wonder, if my mom or even the universe for that matter, sees that I have some kind of purpose for good, which is why I was thrown into this mess with hppd to stop an addiction from getting worse, to fulfill something meaningful.
      Granted, it's very important to me to help someone, or change at least one person's life for good while I'm here, so maybe I'm just really lost in my own mind and this is all some weird ploy I came up with to comfort myself with this mess I'm in. 
      I just really hope something in my life changes soon, because while my hppd may not be getting worse, something about my life is. 
      I have a new job as a security guard, I work shift work, 7 days on and 7 days off, 12 hour shifts. And while it does pay decent, I just don't truly think it's for me. I want to do something meaningful.
      Sorry for the rant guys, haven't posted on here in a while and my urges and just my life all around have been coming in full swing, needed people I could relate to, to see this. 
      Thank you. 
    • By cneves
      Hello everyone,

      First of all, I'm really sorry for everyone here that suffers from HPPD, derealization, depersonalization, anxiety, depression, panic attacks and other symptoms. 

      I'm a journalism student at Anglia Ruskin University, UK. As my final project, I'm making a documentary about HPPD as a way to raise awareness for this condition. 

      I know about HPPD because of my boyfriend, he's been having it for almost 2 years now and this is my way of trying to understand him better and my way of trying to help in any way I can. 

      For my documentary, I'd like to talk to other people with HPPD, because everyone experiences it differently. If any of you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me, you can contact me at this email - c.neves@outlook.pt
      Your help would be truly appreciated.
      Thank you so much in advance, 
      Carolina Neves
       
WOLF70M

Thank You HPPD

3 posts in this topic

Hey guys,

I haven't been on this site in quite some time, but I was reflecting on the past 6 years of perceptual disturbances and thought that I would write a post that may shed a different light on HPPD. I am very thankful that HPPD has become a part of my life(yes, even when I start melting or the room keeps changing sizes). I'm sure by this point many of you are thinking "wow, this guy is fucked in the head" , but let me elaborate a bit more. At this point in my life I am happy, I love who I am, and I am in a great place despite my visual and tactile disturbances not wavering in the slightest. Pre-HPPD, however, I could say none of the good things I listed above. I lived my life constantly brushing my anxiety, depression, and insomnia under the rug like it didn't exist. HPPD amplified these problems to a point where I could no longer just pass them off. It forced me to change. I had to open up to people about myself and my problems like I never had to before. I had to focus on the things that I could control (anxiety, depression) rather than the things that were out of my hands(perceptual disturbances). This was not an easy process at all. I struggled immensely for a year before I developed the coping skills I needed to allow myself to be happy. One of the biggest turning points for me was when I was finally able to forgive myself for the long series of decisions I made to get myself caught up in in everything. I fortunately haven't had any other trauma in my life, but that almost made it harder to forgive myself for creating such a traumatic event for myself all because I wanted to get high. I also thin that it was important that I accepted the fact that HPPD was a part of me; this is the way I see things now and that ok. In fact its more than ok! I have a hugely different perspective on life than I did before and I think that is one of my biggest assets in life. I couldn't imagine where I would be if HPPD didn't come into my life (probably still getting high off of stupid shit all of the time with no future plans).

HPPD helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life (though I almost dropped out because of it)

HPPD is the reason I became a social worker and have a great job that I love

HPPD helped me learn the communication skills I needed to open up to someone and have an actual meaningful relationship with someone

HPPD stopped me from doing drugs allowing me to eventually become an all-american in cross country.

HPPD taught me how to enjoy life while coping with insomnia, depression, and anxiety

HPPD made me the man I am today

I used to blame HPPD for making my life miserable, but now I see it as an integral part of my life. Wish you guys all the best. - Josh

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Thanks for posting this. Seems like there's been a string of these types of posts lately, which is great. The more success stories on this site -- full recovery or not -- the better. 

I've also had times where I've tried to look at the positive side of HPPD, that I've lived my whole life with untreated anxiety and unprocessed trauma, and now I finally have an opportunity to address my mental health, which I don't think I would have ever done otherwise. In a way it's almost like something had to happen to me to make me realize all my underlying issues, although I could have done with something much less severe, traumatic, difficult, prolonged, etc. 

From what I can tell, HPPD changes people forever. I don't think anybody is ever the same, even those who recover rather quickly. I'm a totally different person than I was two years ago with totally different dreams and goals in life, all due to HPPD. Though in the end I will in a way be grateful for life and this entire experience I also think the level of suffering I've had to endure is inhumane and as many people say, I wouldn't wish it on anybody. 

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I think one of the great positives for me, firstly with lsd use, and then even hppd, has been my empathy for others has increased greatly, especially natural life, animals etc... the flipside is i now constantly worry about how other people are feeling, the plight of the planet, of animal suffering etc!... But I still think that it is a better, more positive way of thinking and it gives me some goals that i can go out and achieve.

If I ever were to be cured of hppd, that compassionate mindset would stay with me... As well as mental resilience beyond all recognition of how I would have been if i had coasted through life. I also like that I am no longer in pursuit of material possessions or the need to impress anyone. Destroying your ego can have some positives, no doubt :)

Maybe I would have developed this way without hppd, but I think it is now cemented in my personality.

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