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    • By LethargicAcid
      hey I decided I finally would upload a video about hppd  gonna upload on youtube
       
      WIN_20171117_060240.MP4
    • By Bursting Aura
       I have only done about 10 hours of research on this, which is not much. Ideally I would like a couple more weeks to wrap my head around something before I recommend it and I need time to see the long-term effects for me also. But I have a strong inclination to quickly get this information to the group, so perhaps this will help someone else suffering. Maybe this works, maybe it doesn't. I cannot recommend this as a cure, but I can only say this has helped me. However, I am not sure if it placebo. Anyways, I did an 18 hour fast and it helped with my HPPD.

                   I will keep the anecdote short, because anecdotes never matter. What really matters is science and peer-review. I did this short-fast because I saw someone on here mention in a success story of curing HPPD on a 3 day fast. Someone commenting suggesting that it has to do with "neurogenesis". I did research on neurogenesis and it happens throughout our lives, such as during exercise or sex, so it doesn’t seem very significant. But, I stumbled upon a term called "autophagy"
      ah-ta-fa-gee. Researching this process gave me motivation to try a 18 hour fast. My HPPD since then has gotten better. On a scale of 1-10 my symptoms have been at a 5 since Saturday, when they usually average about 7 or 8. I am theorizing my symptoms decreased because fasting induces autophagy.

                  Here is Autophagy from an article . "Short-term fasting induces profound neuronal autophagy"
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3106288/ Autophagy is a key homeostatic mechanism whose physiological importance is reflected by its preservation throughout the eukaryotic phylogenetic tree, from yeast to mammals. In recent years, autophagy has been recognized as a crucial defense mechanism against malignancy, infection and neurodegenerative diseases

                          Here is another definition. "Autophagy: cellular and molecular mechanisms" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2990190/ Autophagy is a self-degradative process that is important for balancing sources of energy at critical times in development and in response to nutrient stress. Autophagy also plays a housekeeping role in removing misfolded or aggregated proteins, clearing damaged organelles, such as mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum and peroxisomes, as well as eliminating intracellular pathogens. Thus, autophagy is generally thought of as a survival mechanism. Autophagy is strongly induced by starvation and is a key component of the adaptive response of cells and organisms to nutrient deprivation that promotes survival until nutrients become available again.

                     Stay with me here. But it pretty much takes out damaged cells from our brains and recycles them in the liver. This process is activated via fasting.
      "Neuronal autophagy: going the distance to the axon." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18000396/ Furthermore, our study implicates dysfunction of axonal autophagy as a potential mechanism underlying axonopathy, which is linked to neurodegeneration associated with numerous human neurological disorders
      Let me know what you think, I am always prepared to be entirely wrong. There is no research on a link between autophagy and HPPD obviously. So I am assuming a causal relationship that bad neurons are the cause of HPPD.

                   Here are more articles. I am hoping someone can partner and help me with this.
      "Disruption of Neuronal Autophagy by Infected Microglia Results in Neurodegeneration" http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0002906
      "Constitutive autophagy: vital role in clearance of unfavorable proteins in neurons." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17332773/
      I found 2 posts of anecdotal claims.
      2013 bluelight.com post about fasting curing hppd. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/archive/index.php/t-688613.html
      2017 Reddit.com hppd forum success story about fasting curing hppd https://www.reddit.com/r/HPPD/comments/6ybbcs/success_story/
                          You can do an easy 18-hour fast by not eating after dinner at 5pm, and then not eating until noon the next day. Make sure you are healthy and talk to your doctor. I would like a couple people to try this to see if this actually works. I am going to start another fast today and I will report back in a week or so. Hopefully it works.
                      Potential adverse effects for women. there are claims that fasting can cause missed periods.  Also, unfortunately it seems autophagy is less profound with females. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19036730/ In other words, the damaged neurons have a harder time dying off. For men, fasting will temporary lower testosterone. Do your own research and talk to your doctor.
    • By gabriel
      I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English.
      About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things.
      What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy.
      This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
    • By HDDeer
      I don't really know where else to vent about this, in all honesty, it's really bothering me that this could go on for so long, anyways let me begin. 
      This is just a thought of mine I have, and I don't want anyone to judge me for it because I feel like it could make me kinda sound delusional. 
      Let me begin,
      It's been about a year now since I first touched mdma, I remember when I first got my hands on it, I did it on Christmas eve and Christmas, lied to my family about where I was, i was doing it hours before work, there was a point when I did it something like 5 nights in a row. I picked up cocaine a few times which made me extremely suicidal, there was actually one time I had myself convinced i was going to spend all my money in my bank account on blow in hopes it would kill me(I don't know if it actually would have, and I still don't know if it would, I was just really reckless), it was a relatively rough period for me.
      I never had hppd during that period of time though. 
      But mdma, I did stop doing it as I couldn't find pure stuff anymore. I ended up stumbling upon mushrooms and lsd, the first time I took acid, best experience I've ever had in my entire life. Mushroom trips while not good, always helped me with my other neurological disorder. 
      Then I got hppd after a bad acid trip, I'm here now 7 months later, I think things have gotten better in terms of visuals, for the most part my anxiety is usually non-existent. 
      But every time my hppd is beginning to show improvements, I find my drug addiction comes back harder and harder. I ask myself most times, is it even possible to truly have an addiction 9 months after the last time you even touched the drug? You wouldn't think so. Maybe it's just my mental state.
      I should correct myself, the last time I was doing hard drugs faithfully was 9 months ago, I did end up doing a Molly capsule back in June, that nobody even knows of, not my girlfriend not anyone in my family, only my nephew whose a few months younger than me. It definitely made my hppd worse, it has gotten better since, though my ghosting was virtually non existent before, and now while it's going away again, it's definitely a lot slower going away than it was before. 
      Now, my hppd is finally getting better again, my mental capacity is so lacking, that I can't seem to get it through to myself that drugs put me here, mdma made it worse, but I find myself being drawn back into it. I have so much trouble fighting my urges. 
      I know it's not a life to live, hppd or not hppd.
      My mom died back in 2010, and I'm relatively confident that I suffer from dp/dr because of it, my emotions are relatively numb, I feel like I don't care about my family like the normal person should. Drugs filled that void my mom left there when she died. It's been so long that I truly do not know wether or not if what i feel is normal, personally, something does feel off, and it did before hppd happened. 
      Sometimes I kinda wonder, if my mom or even the universe for that matter, sees that I have some kind of purpose for good, which is why I was thrown into this mess with hppd to stop an addiction from getting worse, to fulfill something meaningful.
      Granted, it's very important to me to help someone, or change at least one person's life for good while I'm here, so maybe I'm just really lost in my own mind and this is all some weird ploy I came up with to comfort myself with this mess I'm in. 
      I just really hope something in my life changes soon, because while my hppd may not be getting worse, something about my life is. 
      I have a new job as a security guard, I work shift work, 7 days on and 7 days off, 12 hour shifts. And while it does pay decent, I just don't truly think it's for me. I want to do something meaningful.
      Sorry for the rant guys, haven't posted on here in a while and my urges and just my life all around have been coming in full swing, needed people I could relate to, to see this. 
      Thank you. 
    • By cneves
      Hello everyone,

      First of all, I'm really sorry for everyone here that suffers from HPPD, derealization, depersonalization, anxiety, depression, panic attacks and other symptoms. 

      I'm a journalism student at Anglia Ruskin University, UK. As my final project, I'm making a documentary about HPPD as a way to raise awareness for this condition. 

      I know about HPPD because of my boyfriend, he's been having it for almost 2 years now and this is my way of trying to understand him better and my way of trying to help in any way I can. 

      For my documentary, I'd like to talk to other people with HPPD, because everyone experiences it differently. If any of you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me, you can contact me at this email - c.neves@outlook.pt
      Your help would be truly appreciated.
      Thank you so much in advance, 
      Carolina Neves
       
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jeffy

when it started - now

4 posts in this topic

Hello ladies and gents, my name is jeff, I'm 22 and I've had HPPD for about a year. this is my first post so i guess ill start from the beginning. i started off my tripping career with lsd when i was probably about 18-19. it was very rare that it would come around until one day when one of my friends met a kid at his job who we'll call the trippy guy. anyways as soon as he came along we started tripping on shrooms or acid like 2-3 times a week. one night after i had taken shrooms but before they had kicked in my friends convinced me to smoke dmt. it was the most magical fun thing ever but as soon as it wore off i felt different. i felt like i had changed my life and could never go back, (note i was not yet experiencing any symptoms of HPPD) the thought of being different was very scary for me. needless to say i had an awful trip on those shrooms. anyway at one point i came into a large free amount of shrooms, and was tripping almost every night. then i remember one night i took acid, and MDMA everything was normal, but when i woke up there was a film of rainbow static over my vision. i thought it was just that the acid hadn't worn off and it would be gone the next day. and believe it or not, it was gone the next day. so i thought nothing of it and continued to trip all the time. then there was one night, i was in a night club, and my friend said he could get me molly. i remember taking it but blacked out shortly after because of how drunk i was, but my friends told me i took acid later that night too. well anyway i don't know what i got in the club, (possibly an RC?) but i believe thats what lead to me having HPPD. i woke up on the floor all filthy from the night before, so i went home to shower but i remember feeling different, and the rainbow static was back. again i just figured it would go away after a while but this time it didn't. i also noticed my thinking patterns where different. all i could think about was everything being connected. like the whole universe. i wanted to know the origins of everything that exists so badly, and why our society, and all societies have developed into the way that they are. i began to think of humans as more of just animals that can talk, and have very conveniently capable bodies. as time went on, i noticed more and more symptoms. the normal ones, like after images, tracers, eye floaters, but never have i experienced halos, breathing walls, scrambled texts, geometric patterns or ghost images floating above things. i was scared and knew even before i looked it up that the drugs had done something. i completely stopped hallucinogen use, but continued to smoke weed, and drink very heavily. neither of which seemed to agitate my symptoms. I've noticed that my symptoms only seem to bother me when I'm alone, or if I'm doing some tedious task where I'm not talking, and my thoughts can just wander. i haven't gotten any anxiety from hppd, and actually prefer to be in social settings. anyways about 3 months after it started i tripped on acid again 2 days in one week. i didn't notice any new symptoms, or worsening of my current ones, and the trip felt just like it did before all this. however this past summer i did some MDMA with my friends, and the next day (luckily only for one day) my vision was absolutely f'd. the street was flashing black and white, the static was way worse, if i stared at a blank wall, or the sky it literally looked like i was going through a purple and blue vortex. well none the less i haven't done MDMA since, but i have done acid, shrooms, and even dmt once. one night i actually took acid, LSA, and shrooms and it did noting to my hppd. i have however noticed that after a weekend of drinking cheap booze with my friends in heavy amounts i'll feel really strange for a day or 2. like everything I've ever known about life that seemed normal at one point is extremely confusing. like i look at another person and just knowing that they're just as conscious as i am is like... impossible to grasp. I've noticed that i'm far more empathetic. i feel like when i look at a person now i have a much better understanding of the fact that even tho they appear as happy and normal, on the inside they might be a totally crushed spirit. I've also noticed that my fear of death has increased substantially, and i don't understand how death can even be a real thing. i also have a fear of bugs now which was non existent before. my dreams have also gotten pretty wacky, they're often about other planets that don't even exist, or something else crazy. but to sum everything up i guess id say i have very mild HPPD, and its more mental than visual.  ill bet into more details in other posts i guess, this ones seems long enough. lol

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Mild HPPD may sound fun enough but I can assure you the last thing you want is to get full blown HPPD with DP symptoms (which it sounds like you might have already) 24-7-365 and wish you were never born in the first place. If I were you I'd take it easy on hard drugs and even weed. Sounds like you're pretty embedded in the drug culture so it might be somewhat difficult but you need to ask yourself if you want to be messed up the rest of your life or if you'd like to maybe live happily here in another 10 years when you're not doing all this crap anymore. This isn't something to mess around with -- ask a lot of veteran members of this board. Like I said, this is something that can make you wish you were never born in the first place. 

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thank you for replying!!! I appreciate the input more than you know. But i am curious as to weather or not you think its possible that the only drug that has worsening effects on me is MDMA? From what I've read on here it seems like MDMA f*cks a lot of people over.  Also, thats what triggered it with me... and like i said when i took it last summer the visuals got WAYYYY worse for a day . Since then I've tripped on everything under the sun (besides MDMA, or RC's which I've never taken as far as i know) numerous times and no effects. after one weekend of tripping on acid i actually noticed my symptoms where less intense (not AT ALL saying that was because of the acid). I also mentioned that after a weekend of heavy drinking cheap booze ill have dp/dr for a day or 2. However, I'm also wondering if that could be alcohol withdrawal? I went through a point in my life last winter/ spring/ part of summer where i was basically hammered all day every day off 92 proof rum, (I earned me the nick name "sailor Jeffy", instead of "sailor jerry"; the rum i was drinking) and was a bit of an alcoholic. My dp/dr had me debating swallowing a bottle of tylenol at that point when i was sober, because i wanted to die. The only thing that kept me from doing it was I'm my moms only child and she'd be crushed.  I limit my drinking to weekends now, (with the exception of some beers on week days when my friends want to go out) and its not every weekend that i drink heavily, but when i do some sundays, and mondays are spent with pretty bad dp/dr. Also, as i mentioned i don't notice those dp/dr symptoms when I'm out with my friends. Even if I'm smoking weed, tripping, or drinking. Anyways, i have to quit weed for a while for a drug test right now, so i guess w'ell see if that has any positive effects. I originally intended to name this post "my HPPD is strange" because it doesn't seem to be worsened by drugs, with the exception of the day or 2 after i drink cheep booze, (sometimes) but that may be alcohol withdrawal. I'm not by any means trying to say that drug use doesn't worsen HPPD, but I'm am wondering if its possible that MDMA is the only one i can never do again. I know you don't have all the answers, most doctors don't even know its a real condition, but I'm just wondering what your think about my particular case. I can get into more detail if you'd like. I'd love to chat about it with someone else who knows the struggles. Especially DP/DR, as those are the only ones that really bother me. 

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Hi Jeffy.  Have you considered taking a little break from tripping to see if the symptoms moderate or go away?  Hallucinogens can have short term effects like empathy, insight into ones self, or just seeing the world from another viewpoint.  Some of these residual feelings can be wonderful as I recall.  However, for some of us we get negative symptoms that never go away.  Basically I see visuals much of the time.  I can't make them go away and I've had this for over 40 years.  If you take a break then perhaps you can gauge how things are going up in the cranium.

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