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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
witsedge

haven't a clue if this is relevant

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I am a 22y.o Caucasian male and I am having frustrating symptoms and my doctor hasn't the fuzziest of what it could be linked to.

Background story is that almost 2 years ago I was a regular drug user... I started off with pills (from AUS so purity was never high), then graduated onto cocaine and LSD. I would often swap between them and would only use on the weekend as I didn't want it to interfere with my Uni work.

Everything seemed fine until I took a rather strong stamp dose of LSD, I started to feel flustered and had extreme pressure on both sides of my head. Having never experienced this before I began to panic and things started to get weird... I had extreme vertigo and everything seemed really far away or really close...kinda like a fish-eye lens.

I'm sure for the most part this was just a "bad trip" but the next day I woke up still with weird vision and felt very hazy and not all there...kind of like I wasn't connected to my body...I everywhere I looked it was like the horizon on a hot day with all wavy lines. Black dots would whirl around in my visual field as though little flies were forever in my face... walls would be breathing if I unfocused my eyes and I generally felt as though I was loosing my mind.

I started obsessing about schizophrenia, researching it as much as I could... words would repeat over and over and over and I couldn't shake the thought. I never believed what I seen with my distorted vision or lost touch with reality...it was just really making me panic... I would worry so much, most nights I would wake with racing heart and racing mind...took me best part of an hour to get back to sleep.

I have seen 2 doctors and a therapist all of whom say I suffer from anxiety and depression. Treatment wise I have taken Citalopram, Wellburtin, Pristiq, Zoloft and Benzos, all at the highest possible dose. The only two that worked were Wellburtin (which helped my depression but made anxiety a little worse) and Pristiq (which helped my anxiety but did nothing for depression). Halfway through a Wellburtin 6 month treatment and for the most part I feel great, but my visual symptoms haven't subsided... often in the mornings at work the contrast in my visions changes, with everything going dark for a period of time then back to normal. I also see the occasional movement in my peripheral vision which gets me to panic a little. I have static vision but nothing to dramatic and I often feel as though I am distanced from the world like my eyes unfocused and I cannot refocus them for a period of time.

I have also had my eyes tested....so its nothing to do with my ACTUAL eye, optometrist suggested seeing a neurologist. Finally I have family history of depression, stroke and migraines...

Please reddit any suggestions as to what is wrong with me would take the world off my shoulders!

TLDR; took LSD, had a panic/ anxiety attack. woke up next day with weird visual disturbances:

-wavy vision

-black moving dots in vision

-mind kept repeating words over and over

-breathing walls

Treatment of Wellburtin has basically helped but new visual symptoms (colour contrast changes, movement in peripheral vision and depersonalisation) has occurred...

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Hello, like everybody says in this forum, you need to stop all drugs (even coffe,cigarettes and alcohol) inmediately. I know is hard, but try to think possitive and eat and sleep well as you can. For example: my breakfast is fruits (apple, banana, orange) and walnut. Try it, you will feel with high energy.

Second, run or exercise everyday and find some hobby.

Third, check the medication avaible for the hppd (NAC, Keepra, Clonazepam and recently Sinemet). It's very weird that benzos didn't help you. Dont self medicate, always see a doctor.

Stay calm, i think i'got hppd since May of this year. At first it was pretty similar to you, i think i was a brain tumor and bla bla bla. For two months i had fractal vision after sleep and breathing walls if i focus my mind on it. They had disappear this month (i know it's in some place of my mind, but im not try to see what happens)

Now im feel a lot better (and i couldn't try sinemet yet). If i can, you too.

Best wishes.

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Hey guys! thanks for taking the time to reply. I currently exercise 5 days a week doing crossfit and for most parts its saved me from insanity! sometimes when I push myself to the limits however the visuals can get a little weird...but its more then likely just extreme fatigue. I also diet to a relatively strict regime and have had great weight loss!

Doctor put me on Wellbutrin SR, I have appointment with a Neuro in a fortnights time.... doctor believes that this is a prime example of what a silent migraine is (everyone that is in my family suffer from regular migraines). Its hard to remember if I had issues prior to my drug use... if its is a migraine and NOT HPPD it would also explaine why Benzo's didnt work. To be honest the visuals isn't what bothers me..its the headpressure and confusion the visuals bring on that really bothers me :( If I could just gain back the capacity to think straight at all times and remember what I want when I want, I'd be a happy man.

One benefit is that it halted my every worsening drug use, and I think it opened the eyes of some of my friends!

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One thing I will add aswell is that I don't get extreme halos from lights or visual snow (or atleast I can tell that i have it)... I can still see the globe and the words printed on the balb and the snow is only noticable at night but only on occasions.

if anything I have a minor case and my anxiety is blowing it out to make it worse then it really is..I have always focused on the worst of things. at the end of the day HPPD or not my heart goes out to the true sufferers... I couldn't even begin to understand what its like to have full blown visuals such as tacers and colors changing from one to another

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When im in the "black hole" i was exactly like you, anxiety 100% and very depressed. Im on Aropax (ssri), similar medication.

Continue with exercise, diet and think possitive and try to no freak out with the worst cases of hppd. When im started to read about this i was very scared with no sense.

Like you my visuals are not extreme like other people, so, it takes time but you will be fine.

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