I have had HPPD for 15 years,
I am much better now than when it started, I have tried so many natural and psychological techniques that I feel its the right time to test if certain Medical treatment could work.
My main symptoms are now anxiety, depression, heavy brainfog, visual snow, problems reading - writing, focusing and depersonalisation sometimes.
I have found a neurologist in the city of Barcelona where I live, and I will like to ask you guys for a favour before I meet him:
is there is an order for which meds are to be tried first?
which meds in your view have been the most successful in treating some symptoms?.is there a page with these things online?
I tried a low dose of diazepam and the day after my symptoms where very high again so I stopped, same thing with an antidepressant.
Having said all of this I will like to share some hopeful news too: I have been fortunate to have had days with almost no symptoms, have traveled extensively, managed to finish my BA in fine arts, lived in various countries, got my drivers license, can now read (even though i get confused sometimes), I can hold conversations much better (less DP), at the beginning of this disorder my life was very very miserable now its a lot better.
Thank you for reading.
I took hppd about 2 months ago and ever since I’ve been very aware of what I’m seeing. Like at night when I’m in the car driving, I’m not sure if it’s been there before but street lights or any sort of light kinda has a glare to it, like very shiny and has like a glow to it. I’ve noticed that when I look at the moon. There’s another moon next to it but half of the size, like a glare. I suck at explaining but am I getting hppd or is all this normal? I’ve been stressing over This for a while now and I’m going to a psychologist to get checked out.
I forgot to mention that I only taken lsd once. I’ve only smoked weed before .
I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English.
About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things.
What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy.
This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
Dear Fellow Hppdler!
So iam a hppd newbie , i've had it since this march. so roughly 5 Months.
I actually just want to ask you if my symptoms are Hppd, or pre hppd, PTSD or whatever!
NO visual snow! NO trailing! NO afterimages!
The only Vision related things are:
Increase of colour , eg trafficlights
But somehow only bright colors do increase^^, weird stuff ^^ Normal colors look normal
My vision got worse, like my general eyesight got worse.
Then i also got DR , but no DP!
Actually only the derealisation bothers me...
It got better during the months, but the DR did only slightly decrease.
Do you think this is Hppd?
Iam not sure about this, i got my hppd from some horrific lsd trip , so may i just have a trip related trauma? and my mind is trying to protect itself from it by going in DR mode?
PS: of couse i stopped ALL drug use since then
By Alex C
I'm new to this forum and have only spent a couple of hours reading through it.
I have had mental health problems as long as I remember but it has never been diagnosed. So it's not definite but the family doctor, past psychiatrists, and my school nurse have all thought that I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I believe so too.
all of my symptoms make me feel ver depressed and anxious, and like my life is hopeless and I can't live like everyone else.
i have used 25i-nbome twice, the first time was fine but the second time I had a very bad trip and I believed that I was dead.
its been almost 3 months now and I've been experiencing what seems to be symptoms of hppd.
My symptoms are:
In dark rooms or when my eyes are closed I see blue or red fractals at the centre of my vision, and I'm mildly lit rooms they travel over the walls,
Long lasting after images from bright objects,
the worst symptom is that whenever I look at carpets and sometimes other objects they seem to grow this psychedelic pattern into them, seeing this really scares me. I avoid it by not looking at the floor basically but if I do then it will make me really anxious and more prone to my symptoms for the rest of the day. Does anybody else see this? Because I've only ever read about one other person having it.
i see slight red lines over my keyboard on my phone screen
On plain walls I also see what seems to be like mild static.
when I am hungover I also have strong CEV's that basically take me back to the night before or I see a distant screen that shows what seems to be videos of me
I still have hope for this going away as a lot of the symptoms are only really there when I think about them. So I was wondering if others think this seems hopeful or not?
the fear of my symptoms never going away also scares me a lot and makes things a lot worse.
i am basically sober now, I don't even drink caffeine, but I do occasionally drink alcohol which I am trying to stop. I am on a diet and I go to the gym for a couple of hours daily.
i can have episodes where I feel a lot better and that it is going to go away, and I can sometimes have whole days when I don't think I see any visual disturbances, but small things like my mood being changed can bring it on again where I feel worried about the hallucinations all the time.
i am only 17 so I don't have access to any medication to help yet and it takes a long time to go through the children's mental health service.
i was wondering if people think my hppd will fade eventually, and if there is anything else I can do to further my recovery.
please don't give comments that are negative or make me feel like I will never be cured because it makes things a lot worse for myself.
thank you for any responses given!