A slightly different story

[Sentragon]

Hi everyone. My name is Sebasthian and I first discovered this forum just a few days ago when I for the first time decided to go in depth with my visual disturbances. So let me start telling you some background.

--WALL OF TEXT--

I first started with smoking at the age of 15, just before I hit a severe depression. I became a steady smoker fairly fast to "help" my depression.

At 17 I did acid for the first time and I fell for the drug. By the age of 20 I had done different kind of psychadelics a few hundred times.

Somewhere on the road, I think around 18-19, I realized striped patterns and weird textured floors, walls etc tended to start moving slowly when I gazed upon them. By then I had heard about HPPD but I never actually gave it much thought. I found it incredibly awesome to be able to see the patterns of acid while sober and never saw it as a problem.

By time this became improved, but not in a bad way. Since I was fascinated by the extended vision I attempted to manipulate it, and guess what. It works and it works incredibly well!

I've even got so far that I managed to make everything in front of my eyes to change colour and form at will. Which to me is great since I don't eat LSD anymore.

Psychadelics for me has always been about the bodily sensation and the visual effects which might be a very strong reason to why I enjoy the ride. That and the fact that I was emotionally shut down for a long time and didn't have any of the other symptoms like anxiety, stress with others.

Today my depression is almost gone but my visuals are still there in full effect. To add is also that I mostly pay attention to my visuals anymore when I'm not interested in "playing" with them. Even so, they tend to steal my attention on occasion throughout the day.

With that said, I'm here to compare myself with others to deeper understand the sides of HPPD and I'm also wondering if there are others around that dont feel like their HPPD is a bad thing for them.

Best whishes!

[Jay1]

that is what I would call pre-hppd.

 

I had that for two years before full blown hppd kicked in after alot of mdma, I could stare at a road or wall or something and enjoy being able to recreate a bit of lsd vision. It is a sure sign that you are very susceptible to moving up many levels though, so be cautious with ANY further drug taking.

 

What you just wrote, would have been almost word for word how I would have written during my "pre-hppd" experience when I was 14-16 years old. If I hadn't then moved on to MDMA and tried a few more trips, I might have stood a chance.

[leelalala]

I agree with jay...

I guess most of us, who didn't get hppd with their first trip but enjoyed some years of experimenting before that, can relate very well to the things you wrote.

I remember being able to manipulate my vision the way you do, and having quite a lot of fun with that during my first few years of my experience with these stuff. Then I had a period of not taking much, not paying attention to these kinds of things and those visions were mostly gone.  Years later, I had one very bad trip with shrooms and then, HPPD.

I have to say, the fun lsd vision and HPPD are quite different things. It's not an extended vision anymore, for me it started as seeing after images which made me feel like my head was going to explode. Or, at times I had so much visual snow that I could hardly see anything else.

So be careful...

[Shadowplay]

So HPPD can be fun? I remember 1 year ago, after drinking 4-5 beers during a period I started kind of tripping. This happend a few times.The room grew and got a more spacey feeling. I didn't mind and told my girl and some friends about it. They thought I was making it up or joking or something. I wish I'd checked it up. Didn't know by then that I would end up like this.