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    • By justaman
      I took hppd about 2 months ago and ever since I’ve been very aware of what I’m seeing. Like at night when I’m in the car driving, I’m not sure if it’s been there before but street lights or any sort of light kinda has a glare to it, like very shiny and has like a glow to it. I’ve noticed that when I look at the moon. There’s another moon next to it but half of the size, like a glare. I suck at explaining but am I getting hppd or is all this normal? I’ve been stressing over This for a while now and I’m going to a psychologist to get checked out. 
       
      I forgot to mention that I only taken lsd once. I’ve only smoked weed before . 
    • By lilmopHEAD1
      dooo i have a chance of getting better if i go healthy and stop smoking
    • By Annie
      Hello(:
      my name is Annie, and I started dating my amazing boyfriend Kai a few months ago. I love him, absolutely crazy about him. He has HPPD with a sister diagnosis of anxiety. I do not have HPPD but I do suffer from GPD and Social anxiety. So I understand his anxiety. This is where my question comes from; if you were dating someone, and you have hppd, what would you want them to know? Kai is a little closed off about it, because he is now 5 years sober from drugs, and 3 year sober from alcohol so he really doesn’t like going into the details of it, and what he did when he was under the influence. So what would you want your significant other to know, recognize, do to help, etc.? I know his medications, when he should take them, what makes his visuals worse and all that but I want to do more for him. 
      Thank you for reading and responding!! (:
    • By gabriel
      I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English.
      About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things.
      What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy.
      This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
    • By kühlschrank
      Dear Fellow Hppdler!
      So iam a hppd newbie , i've had it since this march. so roughly 5 Months.
      I actually just want to ask you if my symptoms are Hppd, or pre hppd, PTSD or whatever!
      Symptoms:
      NO visual snow! NO trailing! NO afterimages!
      The only Vision related things are:
      Increase of colour , eg trafficlights
      But somehow only bright colors do increase^^, weird stuff ^^ Normal colors look normal
      My vision got worse, like my general eyesight got worse.
       
      Then i also got DR , but no DP!
      Actually only the derealisation bothers me...
      It got better during the months, but the DR did only slightly decrease.
       
      Do you think this is Hppd?
      Iam not sure about this, i got my hppd from some horrific lsd trip , so may i just have a trip related trauma? and my mind is trying to protect itself from it by going in DR mode?
       
      PS: of couse i stopped ALL drug use since then
      sincerely,
      J
Hppdlife

Life hasn't been the same

65 posts in this topic

I'm one of those who cannot take a sip of alcohol :(

I wish I could !! What is life without a cocktail or a nice glass of champagne or wine with dinner !!

Can u smoke the herb??
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Well every day 4 beers should work then

Yeah it should but once I get that GLOW.. WELL U KNOW.. I'LL BE CHASING THE GLEAM!!

I HONESTLY THINK I DO THAT BECAUSE IT SERIOUSLY RELEASES ME FROM THE GRASP AND WRATH OF HPPD.

I WISH I COULD DO IT EVERY DAY BUT I HAVE TO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY ON MY PLATE AT THE PRESENT TIME OR I WOULD..

I RECENTLY FIGURED SOME STUFF OUT THAT I WILL SOON POST JUST WAITING TO SEE IF THERE IS ANY SIDE AFFECTS TO IT. I WOULDN'T WANT TO ESCALATE THIS DISORDER ON ANYONE.. BUT IT DOES SEEM TO BE REALLY GOOD AS WELL AS FROM A NATURAL PERSPECTIVE SO FAR.. LETCHA KNOW!! HPPD24YEARS!!

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Me too, I can't smoke it but I just started eating it.. It makes me fell relaxed with no paranoia feeling what so ever.. Very strange..

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I know where you're coming from, I too question whether I should live a life not worth living. You just got to muscle through it. I take comfort and solace in knowing that life constantly changes and nothing will ever be the same. Life isn't the same for you when you were 8, to when you were in high school, to now. Time will change everything. Not to get all Confucius on you, but that's what makes life beautiful. :) I've only had my hppd for a minuscule amount of time compared to you, but I do feel your pain. Try to indulge in all the small things in life man. Those fleeting glistening gems are what life's all about. Just try to get yourself out there. The more you occupy yourself, the easier hppd is to manage, in my opinion. I know this is hard to do, but just try too enjoy yourself whenever you feel you can. The meaning of life is to live, right? I know you feel like a constant trip, I do too. But life's a total trip!

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. I was just curious on the severity of ur symptoms as well as how long u have had hppd?? I too had to quit coffee and tea, it made my visuals go squirrelly. This disorder is horrible especially when ur at the pinnacle of it whilst everything seems to affect it.

Hppdlife u are obviously not to far into hppd if u can smoke marijuana regularly, there is certainly a thrush hold and u could be on the brink of full blown hppd after ur last session with marijuana. Not trying to scare yeah I just wouldn't want to C u like me.. Trust!!

I have had it since march last year and I did give up weed cause as soon as I smoked it, I would basically be sent into a different world but I managed to get through it and it was the only thing making me happy. I have been 30 days without smoking weed now and my visual snow has calmed down a lot. Does anyone else feel like there depth perception is fucked? Like almost 2D and everything looks strangely outlined? This is the most horrible thing and the fact every time I try to talk to someone about it I get bad 'acid like' vibes and incredibly bad anxiety which just makes me want to stop talking about it, honestly I feel like my life ended a year ago.. Nothing makes me happy and I can't be bothered with this constant tripping. If I don't find any medication in the uk that I can take (I'm 17) then I am fucking done with life, why does this have to happen to me lol

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It's just annoying how I'm only young and I fucking loved drugs, now all my friends are still doing them all the time and having the best time of there lives and then if I sniff anything my brain is on a mad one. I dropped out of college because I found it to hard to focus in lessons when I'd suddenly start feeling all trippy and spaced out. Although when I first noticed all the symptoms I did just ignore it and kept taking acid, which kinda fucked me over as I was insanely paranoid, like I would actually see my friends talking about me but it was me actually tripping out lol I thought I was actually going insane at one point. The amount of times I've been so so close to suicide. Sorry to keep going on but you are the only people that I can actually talk to about this and I've basically been on my own with my thoughts since day 1.

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 I dropped out of college because I found it to hard to focus in lessons when I'd suddenly start feeling all trippy and spaced out. 

 

If you´d like to go to college you should. I still space out once in a while in class, but it gets better and you´ll be so used to it after a while you won´t even be bothered by it. Now it´s more of an annoyance, whereas before I´d get all worked up about it. Hang in there buddy :)

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It's just annoying how I'm only young and I fucking loved drugs, now all my friends are still doing them all the time and having the best time of there lives and then if I sniff anything my brain is on a mad one. I dropped out of college because I found it to hard to focus in lessons when I'd suddenly start feeling all trippy and spaced out. Although when I first noticed all the symptoms I did just ignore it and kept taking acid, which kinda fucked me over as I was insanely paranoid, like I would actually see my friends talking about me but it was me actually tripping out lol I thought I was actually going insane at one point. The amount of times I've been so so close to suicide. Sorry to keep going on but you are the only people that I can actually talk to about this and I've basically been on my own with my thoughts since day 1.

Hey bro I know exactly what ur talking about trust.. I was blessed with hppd when I was around 15 years old from shroom shronks laced with acid.. Ohhh boy what a fuckn trip from this planet to Jupiter whilst bunking it up with Buck Rogers and Battle Star of Galatica.. I presently don't feel like typing out my whole trip at this moment but it was enough to sentence me to this different disorder called hppd.. My longevity experiences with the psychoactive perceivement of falsified perception has been a horrible 24 years. The abnormalities are horrendously horrific to say the least.. There is possible positive smiling factoids that seem to be attached at the hip that is "u will get use to it" or "things will substantially subside" it has vanished in my life for around six years but it came back with a vengeance.. I have had this mind fuck longer than u have been alive. I will tell u this hppd can escalate with powerful improper progression mark my words.. Try to stay away from all drugs regardless of temptation or pure pressure and that u will have a good temperature for survival.. Remarkably I'm still alive with a good life and success so try to stay clean and u will prevail:-] hppd24yearsintomy25.

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ive read all your postings here...and i find it so depressing that i just want to die right away...im sorry but even though i have no hppd/dp/dr anymore (just tripping panic when i smoke too much weed) this sounds so hopeless and useless...im so sorry for all of you and still cant understand why a thing like hppd/dp/dr has to exist...its so sad

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I find the hardest part is being so misunderstood. I've accepted my new reality but it seems like everyone around me is more critical of my behavior and they think I can just snap it of it. I get so lonely at those times, like today. Thank the cosmos for this website!

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my parents are the same...they dont jugde me for my drug past but they think im just making it up sometimes (not always)...but its annoying and also makes me feel alone..

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It's so frustrating. My bf is the one that told me about it and he doesn't get it at all either! He thinks with meditation I can overcome it. I was like, "dude, I close my eyes and see shit, that makes it even worse." How do you get people to understand or at least have some compassion??

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thats weird...why did he know and show you this website if he doesnt really understand the severity of your situation...there is no meditation or healthy diet, etc. to overcome it and jet no one knows what it really is..so there is no way to cure or treat it.

 

first of all, it seems that my parents and all my friends are not as critical as yours but i still have some people who call me mentally insane or think the same way about me as you mentioned whereas most of them believe me even though they dont understand it fully...i just described my situation in a detailed way..anyway..they learned it over time cause they knew me and also knew that i wouldnt be the way i was just for show..nobody would make such efford just to lie to people...stay tough...dont give up even if they give up you

 

the best is not taking care about what they think and do everything to make yourself feel better...maybe they will realize it some day

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This fucking condition isn't even worth living with. There's tangiby 0% chance to enjoy life the way it's meant to be experienced again once you contract HPPD. I don't want to get acclimated to being psychologically sodomized in a PTSD saturated, visual anomaly proliferating bad trip.

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you are right..even if im cured from hppd my anxiety issues make me worry about existential questions and feel strange all the time and wont let me enjoy drugs or life itself...i would be glad if it ends some day but..it doesnt feel like my old self is really coming back totally.

 

its very bad to know that your whole life is messed up..

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Yup, proponents of drugs espouse their propaganda just as much as anti-drug activists. The only enlightenment I experience is a hallucinogenic existence; I guess I'm fortunate that I'm still partially sane; I lost a portion of my sanity to that fucking LSD trip five years ago, and I know I'll never recover. There is no hope, LOL

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even though i generally feel very enlightened through all my tripping on psychedelics .. i am fucked by my last one (overdose of mushrooms) somehow...but i have to add that thinking this way makes the situatiion a lot more worse than it actually is.

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Hmm.... I'm really trying to stay positive about all of this. The way my family and friends are acting is fucked up, yes, but I come here for support and advice. Hearing shit like my life is going to bee fucked up forever just makes me feel hopeless. Anyone with something positive to say?

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Hmm.... I'm really trying to stay positive about all of this. The way my family and friends are acting is fucked up, yes, but I come here for support and advice. Hearing shit like my life is going to bee fucked up forever just makes me feel hopeless. Anyone with something positive to say?

 

 

im so sorry and i dont want to disappoint you..i really wish you can find some reason for your life and enjoy it somehow...i was just talking about how i feel..please dont transfer that over to you...you are another person and you can do amazing things if you free yourself from everything disturbing in your life..im sure..it helped me a lot to beat hppd until i was cured, but i have to deal with panic disorder and depression too, so thats why i say im still fucked..you shouldnt give up yourself because im saying ''im fucked''

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I guess I'm just hoping it will get better or it go away eventually even though I already know the answer. Looking for some comfort, understanding, and kindness I guess, because the people around me can't offer any. I thought you guys could relate. I dunno... ????

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