"Well Im sorry that if the rest of the world was born with perfect brain synapses and just walking around in lala-land and I can't tell if this fucking flower is real"
Cracked me up a lot of times and you do recognize yourself completly in the movie. So hilarious. The director is actually a sufferer of depersonalization disoder. Yet he succesfully pulled this movie off.
You have to see it if you haven't already! Great humor in it as well. Banging the shrink fuck yea!
Download link: https://oldpiratebay.org/torrent/12209646/Numb-2007-720p-BluRay-DTS-x264-SbR
Thanks for your time to anyone who is reading this.
I have aways been a "sensory sensitive" person (i.e. only kid on a youth soccer team to have to wear sunglass sports goggles). I took LSD (one time only) during the summer after I graduated from college in 2006. Upon waking up the next morning (after little sleep lol) and getting my day started, it was overwhelmingly evident that something in my brain had changed. I have for the 8 years since then been dealing with a variety of extremely bothersome, what I would describe as, visual sensory overload issues.
My brain is now agitated and overwhelmed by all sorts of visual stimuli, most notably unnatural lighting that I encounter in the evening (i.e. all forms of indoor lighting, car headlights, porchlights etc). Also, as crazy as it may sound, my brain is often extremely agitated and distracted by shadows that are created by such lights...things that my brain would have formerly subconsciously filtered out. For instance, an overhead fan with a light behind it will drive me absolutely crazy. I also have issues during daytime hours, though not as intensely, as I am also now more sensitive to brightness from the sun (as well as daytime shadows). When I am in the throes of my "symptoms", my experience ranges from mild agitation to literally feeling like my brain is on fire and in desperate need of someone popping my skull open to dump ice water onto it. This latter feeling generally arises from prolonged exposure, for instance a situation where I cannot just go take a shower to calm my brain down or lie down in a dark room for a while.
I don't know if the condition I have is precisely HPPD, as I do not experience visual snow, halos, trailers, or any of the other "common symptoms" I have seen listed under diagnosis criteria for HPPD. However, I keep coming back to this forum and other websites related to HPPD because I have had a persisting sensory condition that was (however predisposed I may have been) either caused or multiplied a hundred times by taking a psychedelic drug.
To wrap up with a few other details:
I have suffered from Depersonalization Disorder since my senior year of high school (that I am certain was triggered or at least exacerbated by marijuana use). I have not taken any psychedelic drugs since my LSD experience, and have not smoked pot in about 7 years as it makes all of my symptoms much worse.
I mostly try to sleep and exercise consistently to help me battle my problems.
I have been to several people for help. A neurologist told me frankly that he understood in theory what I was saying, but had no idea what to do. I was later prescribed Xanax by a psychiatrist. It has helped me quite a bit and I generally take it at night time when my symptoms hit at their worst. I do hope to get off of it someday soon because of the zombie-ish feeling it can create. But for now, I much prefer it to the suffering I endure without it. I have been disciplined and have not upped my Xanax dosage during the 2 1/2 years I have been taking it.
I believe that the condition I deal with might line up more closely with some of the sensory overload issues faced by MS or Autistic patients. It might very well be that certain receptors were overstimulated during my LSD experience and now my GABA production has been permanently affected. This would explain why taking a Benzo, like Xanax, temporarily makes me feel better. Drinking alcohol, though I don't often engage in it, has a slightly similar calming effect.
If anyone has any thoughts, I would greatly appreciate hearing them. I am quite desperate, to be frank, and am open to all suggestions. N-Met is a product I have seen marketed for sensory overload sufferers, as well as GABA Calm. Keppra intrigues me as well because of it's work on GABA receptors, though I am a bit nervous about trying an anti-convulsant. I have also considered meeting with an Occupational Therapist, or a hypnotist.
So I have pretty moderate hppd. From what I know, people say it is only visual symptoms and stuff like that but to me it's much more. I'm sure plenty of us have had problems with brain fog and depersonalization, which may lead to some depression. For me, especially when I wake up in the mornings or from a nap, I even FEEL like I'm trippin. I've had days where I've woken up feeling like I took a hit of acid before I fell asleep or something. So I read on some forums about 5-htp, which is a vitamin that increases serotonin levels in the brain. I read somewhere else that one cause of hppd is not having enough serotonin, so I decided to give it a try. Literally the first pill I took I noticed a difference. As soon as I got back from the vitamin shoppe, I took a pill and that night I slept a full exact 8 hours (and had real dreams that weren't trippy) and when I woke up the next morning, I felt sober. Of course the visuals were still there, but I felt great!! I've continued taking them and continued to feel so much better. There was one day that I decided to wait until later to take a pill when normally I do it in the morning and got my schedule all messed up and in the process I felt the brain fog and depersonalization come right back up. To me, it makes enough of a difference that I can live my everyday life and not have to focus on my hppd as much. Also, because it helped me get better night's worth of sleep, indirectly it's even helping my visuals. Depersonalization wise, now when i look in the mirror i actually see myself and don't always feel like I'm living in a weird type of nightmare. I just wanted to get on here and let people know that this may be a good option worth trying, because I've seen so many threads putting 5-htp down. Also, it's really not that expensive for one a day! (I've also been taking lion's mane, but I read somewhere that it takes months to work so I doubt that's what making me feel better) my only concern is, I've read online that taking 5-htp everyday could have some negative consequences, but I kinda assumed that applied to normal people who didn't need the extra serotonin like I do. Should I be be worried about it? Idk what do you guys think?
First and foremost; I wish I could put this all coherently in an elaborate article like I did with Coluracetam, however my current state does not allow for that, so forgive me if this all seems a bit vague or wishy-washy.
This is a substance I've been wanting to try for months now.
Basically what it is, is an orally active selective long and fast acting (~2 weeks) potent kappa opioid receptor (KOR) antagonist. Say that three times fast.
The KOR is implicated in many things. Salvia Divinorum (more specifically, its active agent Salvinorin A), which I'm sure most of us are acquainted with, is a KOR agonist. So is Ketamine (see here a study with both aforementioned and JDTic).
These both (as well as all KOR agonists) known to induce a state of dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, anxiety, cognitive impairment, as well as hallucinations/visual distortions, and perhaps some others nuisances I'm forgetting.
Dynorphin is the endogenous KOR agonist, which appears to increase in levels under circumstances of stress and depression (see wiki), and also blocks glutamate release. Glutamate is also implicated in DP/DR as recently discussed, moreover it's the precursor to GABA, hence hypoglutamatergia is no fun. Furthermore, trying to agonize NMDA receptors for instance, would be kind of like mopping the floor with the faucet running. Though, as a side note, NRX-1074 (GLYX-13 derivative) would be really cool to try.
Ok well.. I don't seem to be good at tying up the loose ends here, but in any case it seems to me to have a high chance of abolishing dissociative symptoms. Oh yes, Naloxone and Naltrexone have been used to treat DP, the former of which completely abolished it in several individuals, however Naloxone is unsustainable.
JDTic seems to be relatively safe.. some concerns about 2/14 individuals having a transient heart arrhythmia or something benign like that, which is why they halted studies (protocol I guess).
I'll try to add more later, but if you've any questions, please ask.
This stuff is not available yet. I know many of you, like myself, are very willing to experiment if it's worth a shot, and this one most certainly is. There's not a group buy yet, but currently there are already 16 people interested in doing one. If you want to be a part of the group buy, and for far more elaborate discussion (and a lot of interesting articles), check out the Longecity thread. Also, for the only user review in the world, check out jdtic.com (bear in mind, this person did not suffer from any dissociative issues).