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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
Trippy Racer

Strong HPPD after laser eye surgery

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Hello All! I'm new to the forum. Sorry for my English, it is not good :)

 

I have a big problem after trip on 6-APB (similar to MDA) since October 2012. I have taken 700 mg within 2 days without dream. Then, I have awoken with sleepy paralysis and anxiety several days later. I have overcome fastly with derealization and anxiety. Unfortunately, everything it has returned 2 months later along with heavy hppd. I have strong movement and breathing of objects especially text, bad after images and trails, ghosting, visual snow, floaters and starbursting.

 

I had LASIK eye surgery half year before trip on 6-apb (I had starbursting and ghosting after operation already, 6-apb has increased it). I was at oculist and I have completley healthy eyes. I have paresis two fingers of left hand and Lhermitte's sign after anxiety attack. Several days ago I had MRI with contrast and results were good. What do you think about it? I'm so scared about having toxic brain injury...

 

Now I try to ignore all symptoms, I have overcome with derealization, sometimes I have anxiety at falling asleep, but I try to win with this shit. I excersise at gym, I meditate and I take vitamins. I stop smoking weed, I have limited alcohol, but still smoking tabacco, it helps me with anxiety. I try to lead normal life.

 

I am sorry for long statement, but I've had enough of this hell. My passion is racing of motorcycles and I dream to going 300 km/h without barriers from HPPD. Do you think that is hope to recovery?

 

I will be very thankful for your advices and assistance. Keep well ;)

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There is always hope my friend, just keep a positive mindset and you will more than likely overcome this. Keep in mind, there are very few cases of permanent hppd. Most cases clear up in months but it could possibly take up to a year to recover normal vision. A lot of my symptoms have actually cleared up. Im still in hell, dont get me wrong, but there is always hope for you and me. Just be glad your dp/dr isnt constant. Keep your head up :-)

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Strangely, I developed Lhermitte's sign too after some panic attacks (2 months before I got HPPD with an SSRI). I was then tested for MS too (MRI) and they found nothing...

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"Keep in mind, there are very few cases of permanent hppd."

 

What? I hate to say it, but this is just plain wrong.

 

"Most cases clear up in months but it could possibly take up to a year to recover normal vision."

 

Again, where are you getting this from? Sources etc.? It is possible that it could clear up in months or within a year but if that was regularly the case there would be little need for this site or explanation for its popularity.

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"Keep in mind, there are very few cases of permanent hppd."

 

What? I hate to say it, but this is just plain wrong.

 

"Most cases clear up in months but it could possibly take up to a year to recover normal vision."

 

Again, where are you getting this from? Sources etc.? It is possible that it could clear up in months or within a year but if that was regularly the case there would be little need for this site or explanation for its popularity.

Ive tried to be positive with you and ignore your blatantly shitty attitude multiple times, but seriously? Its no wonder you havent recovered. You seem to have this pervasive negative attitude of doom and gloom that you feel the need to spread amongst the population of hppders. Just because you havent recovered, doesnt mean others wont. Spreading a message of negativity only makes this situation seem more hopeless to some of us who make the choice to be positive and hopeful. Keep your comments to yourself. If you dont have anything constructive or helpful to say, just keep your mouth shut. By the way, my sources are neurosoup/John Halpern. This condition is not permanent for most. It is rare to have it as severely as yours or become lifelong.

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My attitude is not "shitty". If I see an ignorant remark I'm going to challenge it. Of course it is important to retain hope but offering false hope is not constructive; positivity is important but people aren't going to miraculously recover just by being 'positive'; that belies a serious ignorance of the the condition and would be better posted on a New Age site rather that one try to expand knowledge of HPPD. What do you think the scientific research articles are posted on here for? Fun? No, they should all be taken down and everyone should just be 'positive'. I also note that you ignore my point- if this is a temporary condition, as you suggest, why are there so many long term members of this site still suffering from symptoms? As to the source for your information - one interview from one doctor on a website? That's hardly authoratitative, especially about a condition that is so poorly understood and I'm sure it would not represent the consesus view of most doctors who specialise in this. As to your remarks about why I have not recovered - keep YOUR  fucking mouth shut. You have no idea about my specific case and have no business referring to it - I would never speculate about reasons for a member's lack of recovery, especially relating it to their 'attitude'. That seriously crosses a line.

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And I'd like to know when all these multiple times were. When you first joined the site and I tried to offer you words of help and encouragement on chat? When? Do you know how hard it is to do that when you are 10 years into this and suffer from symptoms so severe that you've made several suicide attempts? Maybe I am not as positive as I could be, but believe me that is fucking trying; for the sake of others if not myself.

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And I'd like to know when all these multiple times were. When you first joined the site and I tried to offer you words of help and encouragement on chat? When? Do you know how it is to do that when you are 10 years into this and suffer from symptoms so severe that you've made sveral suicide attempts? Maybe I am not as positive as I could be, but believe me that is fucking trying; for the sake of others if not myself.

Sure you offered me some words of encouragement and I thank you for that, but every other time i've made an attempt to talk to you and others in the chat room, you've had this heir of superiority and negativity about either my opinion or someone elses. That gets under my skin. As for the reason that there are so many long term members on this site? If people are suffering with this condition long term, they are going to flock to this website, therefore these sufferers are concentrated in one area making it seem as if long term hppd is more prevalent. This condition isn't common and when you are on the internet, you tend to get a one sided view of things or a skewed view of the actual prevalence and longevity of this condition. Just fucking think about it!  I guarantee you there are just as many if not more people who have had this disappear with time that are not registered to this website. You never hear about them right? Because it is no longer a part of their lives and im sure they feel no need to talk about it on some online forum.

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And I'd like to know when all these multiple times were. When you first joined the site and I tried to offer you words of help and encouragement on chat? When? Do you know how it is to do that when you are 10 years into this and suffer from symptoms so severe that you've made sveral suicide attempts? Maybe I am not as positive as I could be, but believe me that is fucking trying; for the sake of others if not myself.

Look, I was wrong to make judgement about you and why you have not recovered based on your attitude, but I stand by the fact that positivity is a good thing no matter what and it can help with this situation. Sure research articles have a purpose, but staying positive and trying to live our lives to the best of our abilities is what is most important. Im sorry to hear about you attempting suicide but im sure you had your reasons. I would just prefer you had a more open minded view about things rather than pidgeonhole yourself into a corner of doom and gloom with no hope in sight. It just saddens me to see that this condition has made you such a bitter person.

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"every other time i've made an attempt to talk to you and others in the chat room, you've had this heir of superiority and negativity about either my opinion or someone elses."

 

Example please, because I seriously cannot think of a single one.

 

As to your second statement, this may well be true ( in fact I believe it is too up to a point), but you cannot assert something as strong as "there are very few cases of permanent hppd" without proper evidence. And believe me, there will be many people out there suffering from this condition that are not on this website. I had the condition for ten years before I knew what was wrong with me, got a proper diagnosis, and found this site.

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"every other time i've made an attempt to talk to you and others in the chat room, you've had this heir of superiority and negativity about either my opinion or someone elses."

 

Example please, because I seriously cannot think of a single one.

 

As to your second statement, this may well be true ( in fact I believe it is too up to a point), but you cannot assert something as strong as "there are very few cases of permanent hppd" without proper evidence. And believe me, there will be many people out there suffering from this condition that are not on this website. I had the condition for ten years before I knew what was wrong with, got a proper diagnosis, and found this site.

I dont mean to sound rude, but how the hell did it take you 10 fucking years to figure this out? I had this figured out within a week and knew what was going on with me. I figured most people had the sense enough to look on the internet and at least try to figure out what was wrong. And really? How am I supposed to come up with an example of a conversation we had weeks ago in a chatroom. Its not like I keep records of every chat Ive ever had on this website.

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"I would just prefer you had a more open minded view about things rather than pidgeonhole yourself into a corner of doom and gloom with no hope in sight. It just saddens me to see that this condition has made you such a bitter person."

 

My mind is perfectly open to anything that is properly reasoned. And again, you do not know me and are quite wrong to suggest that I have no hope, on the contrary. You also have no right to call me a "bitter person"; I do not need your pity and I would appreciate it if you refrained from further insults.

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"I dont mean to sound rude, but how the hell did it take you 10 fucking years to figure this out? I had this figured out within a week and knew what was going on with me."

 

Well bully for you. But at the time I developed this I was a scared teenager that did not know what was happening to me, a lot less was known about the disorder, I was misdiagnosed by several doctors (and put on wrong, harmful medications) and I did not have access to the internet.

 

And you say I have an "heir (sic) of superiority"? Believe me, there are many others that are in the same boat as me in this regard, and you insult them as well as me with such thoughtless remarks.

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"I would just prefer you had a more open minded view about things rather than pidgeonhole yourself into a corner of doom and gloom with no hope in sight. It just saddens me to see that this condition has made you such a bitter person."

 

My mind is perfectly open to anything that is properly reasoned. And again, you do not know me and are quite wrong to suggest that I have no hope, on the contrary. You also have no right to call me a "bitter person"; I do not need you pity and I would appreciate it if you refrained from further insults.

All I can say is ive always felt a certain level of hostility from you whether it be in my response to a post, or in chat. I dont know what else to say. All I was trying to do was give this guy some hope and you shit all over my post. And in the end, who is to say that you are right and I am wrong, or the inverse. You don't know what causes this anymore than I do or any other poster on this website. So quit acting like you do. For all you know this could be completely psychological.

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"You don't know what causes this anymore than I do or any other poster on this website. So quit acting like you do. For all you know this could be completely psychological."

 

Erggh. There have been many good posts by people on here and by David Kozin of research articles based on work by proper professionals. That's what I'm basing my information on. I suggest you read a few. And as I said, hope is good, but if it is potentially false hope then it can be harmful.

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Let's try and calm it down, lads.

 

We don't know enough about this illness to make any definitive statements, so arguing about such points is energy wasted. There are long term sufferers, people who recover, people who find the site, people who don't (I didn't know what hppd was for 14 years, hell, the internet wasn't even available for the first few years!)...

 

It is good to keep hopeful, especially for the new guys (who do have a good chance of recovery), but it is also good to be armed with as much knowledge as possible. This can be a lifelong illness, and for long term sufferers, that acceptance can be strangely therapeutic.

 

Also, keep in mind that it is hard to show emotion through text. If you read something and it seems antagonistic.... Just take a second to think about it and whether you read it right... and vice versa... before you click the "post" button... maybe re-read what you have written and think about if it could be taken the wrong way.

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I agree with everything you say, Jay. But I honestly don't think that any fair-minded reader of this thread could say there was a moral equivalence between what was said.

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I agree with everything you say, Jay. But I honestly don't think that any fair-minded reader of this thread could say there was a moral equivalence between what was said.

There it is again, that higher than thou attitude. Your clearly implying that you have a greater moral compass than I do. Truth is, you simply do not know me and my values.

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I'm just going off what you said. The highlights:

 

"Ive tried to be positive with you and ignore your blatantly shitty attitude multiple times, but seriously? Its no wonder you havent recovered."

 

"It just saddens me to see that this condition has made you such a bitter person."

 

Possibly the worst, and insulting to many people other than myself: "I dont mean to sound rude, but how the hell did it take you 10 fucking years to figure this out? I had this figured out within a week and knew what was going on with me. I figured most people had the sense enough to look on the internet and at least try to figure out what was wrong."

 

- Again, how can you reread this and say I am the one with a higher than thou attitude?

 

Feel free to quote any instances where I was similarly insulting. I reacted angrily, especially initially, to your insults, but essentially continued to try and debate the matter at hand - something I hope we can stick to if this must continue.

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Strangely, I developed Lhermitte's sign too after some panic attacks (2 months before I got HPPD with an SSRI). I was then tested for MS too (MRI) and they found nothing...

Very strange case, because I never took any SSRI. Has this sign passed away? I'm afraid about my numb two fingers of left hand, everyday become smaller and smaller  :( 

I have a good news, My frame of mind is all right, depression has fallen off. My worst problem now is palinopsia. It's at the point now where I can't ignore it. I see it every second of every day, and it's ruining my life. I'm scared of it getting worse and leaving me effectively disabled. Does anyone have any experience of constant positive afterimages? It looks like on this video:

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Very strange case, because I never took any SSRI. Has this sign passed away? I'm afraid about my numb two fingers of left hand, everyday become smaller and smaller  :( 

I have a good news, My frame of mind is all right, depression has fallen off. My worst problem now is palinopsia. It's at the point now where I can't ignore it. I see it every second of every day, and it's ruining my life. I'm scared of it getting worse and leaving me effectively disabled. Does anyone have any experience of constant positive afterimages? It looks like on this video:

 

Thanks for the video.

 

Do you have paresis or numbness or both?

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I have numb two fingers of left hand (IV and V) 24/7 since first panic attack (7 month ago). Paresis was worst at the beginning, now it's better - I can unscrew crown cap, tie my shoelaces etc.


By the way, could possitive afterimages bu cured or decreased? If they increased - how long may display (1 sec, 5 sec)? Could they make difficult driving of vehicle? What is your thought?

Sorry for my English, I
hope it is understandable  :) 

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Chris I think you need to bare in mind that this forum is for open minded discussions, if you think someone is wrong don't you think it's better to say that and present your argument so it can be discussed? You seem to think your own personal experience and theories are the right ones and that gives you the right to quickly and rudely dismiss all others. I hav returned to this board today for the first time in a while and noticed your posts are mostly antagonistic which is extremely unhelpful for all the confused people that need advice. Also FYI i notice you only joined in October, and maybe if you'd been on this board a little longer you'd have seen how many people really do come and go having mostly or fully recovered, people such as myself. It's alot of people I can tell you. The number of people with temporary cases is actually quite high, just thought you'd like to know ;)

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