Jump to content

Calm me down?

Recommended Posts

I can still make myself see everything in.. stopmotion kind of way. I feel that when I look at.. for example my hand. I don't look straight at it,

I look THROUGH it. I mean.. I see my hand.. I can't see through it like.. it is transparent or something.. I just.. focus.. farther away and look deeper. :c

Everything seems strange. And when I speak.. the words aren't.. synced to me.

They come out and everything is just.. weird. :C Not real.

When I eat.. sometimes everything feels like when I tripped.. The feeling doesn't.. belong to me.

It is.. Like.. When you breath in.. nitrous oxide or laughing gas as it's called. You feel feelings on your face.. But you don't feel.. like it is

you who.. control the feelings. :c

I am scared. I couldn't make myself feel this things as.. HARD (?) as I can do now.

Now.. I can develop a trip.. I know that I could if I tried.

And the more I speak about my DPDR, the.. more I feel it.

But I need someone to calm me down.

I am afraid. Afraid of getting a psychosis.

Afraid that I blew my last chance.


Link to post

passion------it's not that bad------worst case scenario, you are totally bad-sht. I have been sick now for 4 days with a 102 temp; i have had visual stuff for 15 years, and 2 "psychotic breaks". ------Its not that bad.

Just don't do it anymore. Weed will hang out in your system for like 30 days or so. ------Just stay away from anything that is negative (short-term or long-term) [ex- negative people, drugs, critics, etc.]

Link to post

I am okay with my visuals.. They are something that I can live witj.

It's the feeling of being high all the time.. Being apart from the real world that is scary.

I hope it will get better as the last time. I hope that I will feel normal again. Relaxed and normal.

Already bought all the vitamins that helped me last time.

I hope I will make it.

Link to post

I think that my HPPD got worse too.. now when I think about it. It probably did. :c

But the feelings of DPDR are brootal.. much more worse than before. :c Now I have the thought:

- What if I am in coma and this is a dream? :c

But I know that it's not true. But the feelings are horrible.. When I speak I sometimes.. very often..

think about what I am saying.. and realize how strange everything is. That the voice comes out of itself.

:c Can't really explain.

Gah.. :c So scared.

Link to post

I feel really detached to0 Passion------sometimes i see my hands typing in front of me and they look like two pieces of meat and i barely understand how i am forming full sentences. And in some ways, my hands might as well be 2 stumps bashing out words, one letter at a time. ........I feel like i get not-enough O2 but too much O2 at the same time-----like the air is helium or nitrous. I feel like my head wants to implode; and make my eyes one, like a cyclops. I just feel......well......"blazed"

I have a head cold now but dr/dp dissociation has always been like a head cold with terrible agitation, anxiety, and cognitive impairment.

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

Passion- I really feel for you. Three years ago I could've been writing those same words. I went through a vitamin phase as well. Even though the didn't seem to help all that much, some part of my head believed that the would and I think sending that signal to my brain that I was doing what I could to help prevent myself from feeling like a total wreck helped somewhat. It gets easier as time goes by, I promise. As far as reattaching your soul with your body, connecting mind and body, however you want to put it.. you still have memories. You're going through all of these literally seemingly unreal things right now. But you do have memories of when things did feel real, when you did still feel a part of the world. Think about those memories, your brain and body still remembers how to do them. Think about the things you enjoyed before, and try to reconnect with those parts, almost in a restoring-motor-function-sorta-way. But right now you need to stay away from any stimulating drug, it'll only make things worse or just as bad again and again. You're crying out for some relief from the horrible feelings you're experiencing, and you have memory of hash and all being something that helped with certain issues in the past. But you need to connect yourself to the fact that it's not something that can help you now. And I'm not sure if my way of dealing with things is what other people would find acceptable or help-worthy, but these are some of the things that started me off on getting me to where I am now. And if anyone disagrees or wants to add anything in on this, please do so. I'm always all ears.

MG- Damn, I know how you feel with the salty and sugar foods. Really gets the heart pumping. hah Combination of eating the wrong types of food and then doing something like smoking herb was enough to send me full blast into a thinking-you're-gonna-die attack. Heart was going a hundred miles a minute. Something I noticed that helps with that is to go for a drive. I had my brother drive me around for the longest time, even though he doesn't understand the need for some of these things and thinks it's a pain in the ass to help me through what he doesn't understand - which doesn't help.. but the drive helped to keep my senses engaged enough on other things to repair, or something of the sort. But, yeah. Eating good food helps a metric fuckton.

Link to post
  • 6 months later...

Stimulatingdistraction, damn. I am so sorry for such a late answer. Just saw your message. :c Such a slowpoke I am.
I don't hang here so often anymore because I try to keep myself away from everything hppd/dpdr related. I come back 
rarely in periods just to feel that I am not alone. Today is one of those days. Hahah. The thing about the memories.. They 

feel kind of foggy and distant to me. I mean memories from before the "bad trip". At this point in my life, almost a year after 
my trip, I don't remember how my life was before. :c I don't remember how it feels and how "normal" people see life. 

Damn, I read through the whole post and wow. I am so thankful for peoples replys. They calmed me down. I sound terrified :c Hahah.. I definitely 
overanalyzed every little thing that I did at that state. I hope that I will never go through that again.. but.. yeah. You never know. 
If I think about it, it does feels weird to eat. But I just don't want to.. overanalyze the feeling. Then I get really deattached. :c 


Just wondering.. when you drink water and overanalyze it, does it feels like you drink OIL? I feel it. And it sucks.. 
Water feels extremely thick and I just want to throw up because it reminds me of like.. castor oil. :C 

AND.. one more question.. when you people cry, do you sometimes get like chocked and "What the hell is this shit? Why am I crying?" and get 
a warm breeze all over your body? ;o The feeling of being surprised that you actually are lying there and crying? .____. Can't really explain. 

Link to post
  • 2 years later...

Passion, I was in literally the same state u are in 14 hours ago.

Ur body releases adrenaline to the point where it feels unreal. Anxiety.

Just know that reality is what u make it.

Practicing relaxation breathing/yoga/meditation every day , you'll learn how to calm yourself down more.

When u get scared, ur body may not wanna eat. But doing so is vital.

I wish that I had time to post more but I have to get some sleep since I'm sleep deprived from quitting pot. Sleep deprivation definitely makes it worse a shit ton.

Caffeine free green tea helps me personally, I poured like 5 cups today. But most of all, probly excersize is the best. Releases endorphines whic calm. Plus the increase in dopamine makes an hppd'er feel more real

Link to post
  • 2 years later...
  • 2 years later...
12 hours ago, Passion said:

I still wonder the same thing years later ^
So please let me know how I can read the original post I posted. 

Not sure how you can view the original post, but I'm curious. How long did it take for the feeling of derealization to go away for you, or at least alleviate? Currently experiencing the same feelings lately.

Edited by Kalo
Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Similar Content

    • By Loukas iliop
      Hello to the hppd family. After having hppd, a form of visual snow and some dpdr from weed ive been on my worst days of my life. I was panicing, having panic attacks, checking in every minute pf an hour and basically living in some sort of paranoia. 7 months later i started ignoring it and felt immediatelly better. Im now on my month 8 doing no fap, cold showers, no sugar diet, 4 liters of water a day and listening to positive affirmations daily. Evem though all those thing i still experience a lot of nightmares where i also have dpdr hppd etc. Yesterday i saw a very scary realistic dream with some sort of a demon into it. I woke up sweating and being in a lot of discomfort. I closed my eyes and saw the demon appearing and next to him that star or whatever its called just like afterimages (which im used to them trust me :p). They lasted for about 20 seconds amd they were very scary. I have never had tryied amy psychedelics, i have done mri tests and they are perfectly fine , ive given a schizophrenic test (although) i didnt have any symptom(because i was worried) and o had nothing. Before that day i was on day 12 of nofap, doing cold showers, had sugar free diet, being better with my mental state and working out. The only problem i had with my sleep is that i couldn't sleep well last year when i had none of those things ironically. Also, i sometimes experience sleep paralysis but not this time . im a little worried . can anyone relate to this? 
    • By Loukas iliop
      So, i have been on research lately and somehow came across  homeopathy. I was researching about my dpdr and found that there is a homeopathic remedy called Anhalonium lewinii. Anhalonium lewini is a psychedelic plant(has mescaline). As far as im concerned, in homeopathy they treat x with x so it might makes some sense. The reason im writing this here and not on some dpdr forum is because i believe it can help hppd as well. Microdosing this homeopathic remedy helped people get rid of their dpdr. Thats what i read: Anhalonium lewinii is an excellent remedy for brainfag and hallucinations. Patient seems to be in a form of intoxication accompanied by wonderful visions, remarkably beautiful with varied kaleidoscopic changes. These patients lack conception of time, are dissatisfied, suspicious, insecure, forsaken, resentful to society, dissociated from environment and lack self confidence when in company. They self analyze themselves, escape in a world of dreams and feel they are different. These patients can have a confusion of identity, as if had two wills, or are separated from their thoughts, may also have a delusion of floating in the air, of being double, being separated from the physical world and are observing from above. 
      A lot of people disagree with homeopathy but this sounds interesting. What are your views on it?
    • By Loukas iliop
      I came across this idea through some research and it might actually be helpful. Im not saying thats a cure or anything near that BUT subliminal messages have been proven that by their interaction with the subconscious mind trick it into believing what we want it to believe(seems like a placebo effect but its not). Basically, subliminals can be beneficial if they want them to be(crazy, right? ). Well its not. Its just the law of attraction. And dont get me wrong here because i don't want to give people false hopes, im not saying that it will be 100% helpful to every single person in here, im just saying that people should at least research it. Personally, ive used some subliminals in the past and they did help a lot(for thick hair etc.) I did have some good results, im not gonna lie. So i saw a video on yt(subliminal about hppd ) and it actually made a lot of sense. At the moment, im working on my own subliminal which will be specifically about hppd. The reason why im the one who makes it, its because i want to make sure that all the messages i will be using are 100% positive for the mind. I will upload this here but if you dont find it positive enough for your mind don't listen to it. There are some more factors to make a subliminal 'work' which i will be explaining if you want me to(im not no expert or anything near that so i advise you to research anything before trying). Thanks! 
    • By Loukas iliop
      Hi guys. Im apparently new to the forum, so i want to start by explaining my story and how and why i got here. Im 16 years old and as you can imagine, people between that age aren't very concerned about their health or anything in general. Even though i was a kid who liked  exercising or working out i was also very curious on trying drugs like weed . About a year ago, my mom got cancer but i couldn't feel anything, like i had no fear that she was going to die(i hadnt tried any drug in my life, not even tobacco or alcohol), feeling like im some kind of numb, not having empathy (which scared me because i was that kid who would be concerned about anything related to his family.) A couple months later, i started feeling more lost. I had lost the days and i didnt care at all . I was depressed but i didnt want to realize it. I couldn't accept the fact that something was wrong about my mental health at that point. After my vacation between December and January, i came back, again kinda numb. School was closed for Christmas and would open soon. As school opened, my friend asked me if i want to smoke some weed with his friends. Not even thinking about it, i answered, why not? The next couple of weeks i would smoke about 2-3 bong hits a week(nothing more). And yet i wasnt feeling high(maybe because of the dosage) . So one day i made a stupid desicion to get as high as possible(at that point i hadnt get a single high feeling in my life, not even from the bong hits). I started smoking and taking bong hits. I ate nothing. Fifteen minutes later i was kinda confused. I would be so stupid that i couldn't even think of simple things. I started to realize that i was high and it felt cool, for the first minutes. 2 minutes later i started feeling like i was in a boat, like i was lost and dizzy. Suddenly, my vision started to have some wierd black dots everywhere . I had a blackout  and a bad panic attack . The high was so strong that i couldn't control or see anything for a couple of seconds(idk if that sounds a bit unrealistic but im trying to explain everything as it went through). After that seconds, i took control over my body, but it was like i was in a lucid dream. Like i was a camera, like i was observing the world through the tiniest tv screen . I felt my body strange. I would touch things and feel them after 2 to 3 seconds . I was so confused and anxious . My friends had freaked out because nothing similar didnt happen to them ever .i lost my mind, i got paranoid that this thing would last forever, like i was going to live the rest of my life like this. 2 hours later i wasn't high no more, but something felt strange. I went to sleep and i remember being between sleep and awake. I was so lost that night. I was having a dream of getting paranoid while i was also partly awake. The morning came and yet i was lost. I had black dots around my visual field, I couldn't see the walls clearly, like if they had some light everywhere in them. Moving my eyes from a shiny direction to another, i would see the previous image blurry for a couple of seconds. All that combined scared the shit out of me making me more paranoid about everything. I started feel like i was fake, everything seemed like a dream, my body felt like it wasnt mine. I got home after school and i remember having a nap caude i was to tired. Again, i couldn't sleep, i was somewhere between sleep and awake, lost. I woke up feeling like i was a stranger to everything. I had delay on touching things like when i was high. Im not gonna lie, i thought i was in a dream again. That night i explained my parents everything and they were very helpful. The next days my symptoms got worse. My anxiety increased and i had some terrible panic attacks. I would see those black dots everywhere ( when i would wake up in the morning they were moving fast as hell), and a little tinnitus. After a couple of days i would have that delay over the things i touch for some minutes and that was kinda annoying and unexplainable to me . I started observing around and seeing some small halos around people. The first couple of months was literally HELL. Suicide was the only option, i would tell to myself. Everyday i was overanalyzing everything. My walk, the way i talk, how am i able to see humans everyday without observing everything they do and all that insane stuff. It became i habit. Every single day 24/7 checking in to see whats wrong , if im going to be like this for the rest of my life. I went to therapists but they didnt help. They wouldn't diagnose anything. I had an mri and still nothing. I was feeling so unaware of everything. Being in autopilot. I also started homeopathy but it didnt help. My visual symptoms stayed the same 24/7 . The only time the were worse , it was when i was waking up(stayed for 10-15 minutes and then back to normal). 2 months got by without me doing nothing except of overanalyzing every single detail of me, my movements everything.it was that time that i couldn't take it anymore. I started running once a week . It did help with my anxiety (not my visual symptoms though. They were the same all the time.) I also started to taking cold showers. Amazing . Simply amazing for my mental state. It was so difficult at first but i tried and trying my best not to care about jt . I would gonto school and starting to get mote sociable,although feeling lost cause of my vision, but i tried not to care at all(it helped). Now im 4 months after that terrible experience and im way better with the dpdr thing. The only thing that remains is the visual symptoms and the feeling that im in a moving boat. They scare me sometimes causing me panic attacks. I hope that time will heal me and all that people that feeling hopeless. Remember guys, you are not hopeless. You will never be. I was hopeless for months and i did nothing. I AM BETTER. even though my vs and all that hppd symptoms are still there im in a way better mental state than i was. If someone is feeling hopeless or wants to talk, feel free to hit my dm anytime. That was my story . Hope u people found ot helpful. It surely release some kind of a tension to me! Stay safe 
    • By Loukas iliop
      Hello guys, i am very curious. Do neck exercises and overall posture exercises help hppd sufferrers by reducing symptoms? I came across this because hppd is related to visual snow and by developing a good posture and doing daily neck stretches, visual snow will be reduced. 
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.