Jump to content
Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum
Sign in to follow this  
MrAyahuasca

Hallucinations while half awake, HPPD?

Recommended Posts

In the half-awake state I sometimes have the impression of seeing

something that is not actually there. Sometimes it is like an insect

crawling over the wall(if my face is turned towards the wall) or an

indefinite shape hovering in the air(if I happen to be turned towards

the room). This will happen sometimes when I'm almost falling asleep,

when I see it I will be frightened for a few seconds, but after that I

will be fully awake again and realize that it is not real and the

vision disappears, my sight returning to normal. I experience no such

things when I'm fully awake. I had this phenomenon happen to me before

I started taking Ayahuasca but I have the impression that it became

worse after taking it. The first time I remember it happening was

years ago after I stopped taking Risperdal(I didn't have anything like

this before Risperdal), so the latter might have caused it. I never

took any other "brain" drug/entheogen/psychedelic besides Ayahuasca

and Risperdal. Do you think this could be a symptom of HPPD?

I heard that this could be explained by being hypnagogic hallucinations(https://en.wikipedia...wiki/Hypnagogia). Is this a symptom of HPPD?

I've now stopped taking Ayahuasca for months and it seems that I'm having less of these hallucinations, although I'm not sure about it(this is all very subjective, no hard data).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it the shape in the room or is just on your visionfield?, i got that too when its really shiny outside, i see like black smoke floating around on my visionfield, also i cant open my eyes when its too bright, they got really sensitive.......But Dude Ayahuasca is fucked uppppppp, i gonna try 2-CB and i think Ayahuasca tops that a hundred times.....you should definately stop with that if youre already having small symptoms.....you know, i never would try plant-drugs (Except Kratom), theyre mostly attached to an intoxication too, you should watch out

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had this during my first week after the trip from hell during my first and only MDMA experience but what I believed it to be was sleep paralysis it's where your in between sleep and being awake but your dreaming and what your dreaming you can see you can also feel paralyzed which I felt the freakiest experience I had was when I was lying there and I felt as if something hit me with a stick when I opened my eyes or turned around can't remember which it was I just saw a figure disappearing sort of like if you wear to imagine something disintegrating into dust and just blowing away this was like a week or 2 after I'd been on any drugs scary shit

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well no guess I can't be hundred percent positive I know other chemicals can give you the same effects as MDMA however I did have the uncontrollable affects of euphoria when it first hit me felt like it rolled through my body the feeling whils on it was like a permanent orgasm haha literally better than sex but I had the most wild and vivid hallucinations uncontrollable gurning I'd climbed a mountain and then fell into a deep dark hole lol I'm guessing it was MDMA mixed with other stuff

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Tillyboy

I have closed-eyed hallucinations always shortly before I sleep or just when I close my eyes in the dark. But they are completely enjoyable. I got HPPD about a month ago after taking MDMA on a night out and then suddenly when I came down from its effects, starting tripping. I am pretty sure I was drugged on LSD, but yet again thats doubtful. The following nights were scary but now I am completly fine with everything execpt when I am stressed. A week ago I got overconfident and took E again and the first moments I had a great time until I started getting very strong visuals so that I would need to close my eyes for illusions. The nights after always when I would go to bed and stare at the wall I would see faces and patterns which were quite scary at first but then got interesting. Now I just get mild Closed eyes hallucinations when I'm half-awake, but I enjoy them a lot. Very interesting shit and for me personally, they are a good source for artistic inspiration.

People have to stop worrying about HPPD and labeling themselves as "oh im so sick and crazy i got HPPD", dude chill and look on the bright side of life. What personally depressed me a lot sometimes is some of people's reaction to my stuff, that they can be so naive and intolerant of certain things. Like "Dude its all in your mind", yea of course it is dumbshit haha thats the problem, its hard to cure it just because of that.

For me, when your anxiety is gone, dont call it HPPD anymore, call it "I can see the world in a different, better and more vivid perspective than most others".

About the things during the day, like tracers and those stuff, don't worry about them. At first I would always try to think about it and try to explain what I just say but now I just let them be and I am able to ignore them better.

Like wikipedia says, don't lock yourself in your room waiting for your visuals to stop because they might (very likely) never return to normal, but isnt that just the great part about it? People have always reported that drugs like LSD has "changed their lives forever", and for us to it has in a very literal sense.

My tip on this stuff: Stop psychedelic drug use (including MDMA, LSD, DMT, Cannabis etc.) because your brain is too sensitive too it. I consider myself as a natural tripper,

no need for enhancements.

Try to cut down on your alcohol use, but no need to worry about it. It can worsen symptoms in short-term but in long-term its no problem.

Either start living with it, or start dying with it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Tillyboy

Sorry, correction:

"[...] until I started getting very strong visuals so that I would not even need to close my eyes for illusions / hallucinations." Quote

ddf

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel someways you are right, and in some quite wrong. The assurance you feel is obviously quite beneficial to you. You have obviously accepted your symptoms, and curtailed them to the lifestyle you live. You speak of artistic inspiration, and I can see that with things such as painting that might be a benefit. However, I consider myself an artist and regard my symptoms as a hindrance. I am a writer and a free thinker, HPPD does not help in those regards on a day to day basis. I don't have anxiety, but it is very hard to accept my symptoms with open arms. I was always a bit wild. I liked to get fucked up, and I liked to write. That was the way I lived. I feel like someone who has had to grow up too fast. In many ways it is more of an ego problem, I no longer see myself the way I would like to be seen. And I guess that is a personal problem. Perosnally, I just feel damaged, a lesser version of what I could have been. I dont think the way I see the world literally as better in any sense, I see it as worse. I do sometimes think I examine every day life in more of a dazed wonderment. Ive become so aware of reality, because I am constantly combing ever nook and cranny for some change. All of these things contribute to a shift in personal paradigm, for better or worse remains to be seen. I however, have trouble getting behind the whole enlightened spiritual thing you seem so taken with. I do not mean to come off as an asshole, but I am aware I certainly sound assuming as that is my natural intent. I have a friend who is just like you, same story and everything. Also a musician or general artist. Took some E, started hallucinating all the time. Weird shit like his dad and his brother kissing. Sometimes he would see himself in what he described as a past life. During class he would doze off and hallucinate. It weirded him out at first, but now he seems to think it is some sort of cosmic gift. He has become alarmingly more eccentric, even annoyingly so. I guess, in the end if he becomes some sort of world famous musician things will have worked out for one more psychedelic casualty. I don't know. Thanks for the share, its good to know acceptance in some way is beneficial. Sorry for the rambling, your story just sounded so much like my friends I couldnt help myself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have closed-eyed hallucinations always shortly before I sleep or just when I close my eyes in the dark. But they are completely enjoyable. I got HPPD about a month ago after taking MDMA on a night out and then suddenly when I came down from its effects, starting tripping. I am pretty sure I was drugged on LSD, but yet again thats doubtful. The following nights were scary but now I am completly fine with everything execpt when I am stressed. A week ago I got overconfident and took E again and the first moments I had a great time until I started getting very strong visuals so that I would need to close my eyes for illusions. The nights after always when I would go to bed and stare at the wall I would see faces and patterns which were quite scary at first but then got interesting. Now I just get mild Closed eyes hallucinations when I'm half-awake, but I enjoy them a lot. Very interesting shit and for me personally, they are a good source for artistic inspiration.

People have to stop worrying about HPPD and labeling themselves as "oh im so sick and crazy i got HPPD", dude chill and look on the bright side of life. What personally depressed me a lot sometimes is some of people's reaction to my stuff, that they can be so naive and intolerant of certain things. Like "Dude its all in your mind", yea of course it is dumbshit haha thats the problem, its hard to cure it just because of that.

For me, when your anxiety is gone, dont call it HPPD anymore, call it "I can see the world in a different, better and more vivid perspective than most others".

About the things during the day, like tracers and those stuff, don't worry about them. At first I would always try to think about it and try to explain what I just say but now I just let them be and I am able to ignore them better.

Like wikipedia says, don't lock yourself in your room waiting for your visuals to stop because they might (very likely) never return to normal, but isnt that just the great part about it? People have always reported that drugs like LSD has "changed their lives forever", and for us to it has in a very literal sense.

My tip on this stuff: Stop psychedelic drug use (including MDMA, LSD, DMT, Cannabis etc.) because your brain is too sensitive too it. I consider myself as a natural tripper,

no need for enhancements.

Try to cut down on your alcohol use, but no need to worry about it. It can worsen symptoms in short-term but in long-term its no problem.

Either start living with it, or start dying with it.

I feel someways you are right, and in some quite wrong. The assurance you feel is obviously quite beneficial to you. You have obviously accepted your symptoms, and curtailed them to the lifestyle you live. You speak of artistic inspiration, and I can see that with things such as painting that might be a benefit. However, I consider myself an artist and regard my symptoms as a hindrance. I am a writer and a free thinker, HPPD does not help in those regards on a day to day basis. I don't have anxiety, but it is very hard to accept my symptoms with open arms. I was always a bit wild. I liked to get fucked up, and I liked to write. That was the way I lived. I feel like someone who has had to grow up too fast. In many ways it is more of an ego problem, I no longer see myself the way I would like to be seen. And I guess that is a personal problem. Perosnally, I just feel damaged, a lesser version of what I could have been. I dont think the way I see the world literally as better in any sense, I see it as worse. I do sometimes think I examine every day life in more of a dazed wonderment. Ive become so aware of reality, because I am constantly combing ever nook and cranny for some change. All of these things contribute to a shift in personal paradigm, for better or worse remains to be seen. I however, have trouble getting behind the whole enlightened spiritual thing you seem so taken with. I do not mean to come off as an asshole, but I am aware I certainly sound assuming as that is my natural intent. I have a friend who is just like you, same story and everything. Also a musician or general artist. Took some E, started hallucinating all the time. Weird shit like his dad and his brother kissing. Sometimes he would see himself in what he described as a past life. During class he would doze off and hallucinate. It weirded him out at first, but now he seems to think it is some sort of cosmic gift. He has become alarmingly more eccentric, even annoyingly so. I guess, in the end if he becomes some sort of world famous musician things will have worked out for one more psychedelic casualty. I don't know. Thanks for the share, its good to know acceptance in some way is beneficial. Sorry for the rambling, your story just sounded so much like my friends I couldnt help myself! Though, you only having these symptoms for a month makes me feel it is likely yours will go away. Imagine having hallucinations for a few years, then you might not be so content with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A week after I tried smoking weed again I had this one morning. It was really strange. It was like I was lying in my bed and there were transparent decapitated heads flying around my room, as well as this creepy guy whispering shit in my ear. He was flickering like a hologram too. I didnt let it scare me tho. I knew it wasnt real. Lol it has stopped since then though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Similar Content

    • By Victor666
      Hello guys, it's been a year since i had the same problem as you. Always exactly 1 year I took 150ug of LSD and had a terrible bad trip that traumatized me and left me sequels. I had flashbacks and I missed a lot because of it. Distorted visions in my peripheral field. All this was cured with antipsychotics, especially risperidone (I can not remember the dosage). But what it took to be cured was the emotional sequel that caused me. Psychedelic experiences transform you radically and unfortunately if you are not prepared for them it may take a long time for you to get back on track and I confess that I am not yet 100% healed of this trauma. But what I can say to you is that the worst of all this is not the visions, but the horrible thoughts that go through our heads thanks to the anxiety that causes us. And what I want to know about this post is just that. What are the thoughts that torment you because of this anxiety? Write them in the comments and we'll help each other by talking about them. For example, I used to think all the time that I was getting schizophrenic, that there would be some outbreak, over time this evolved into existential crises where I thought my soul was lost in space time and I was not living reality, just watching it (depersonalization and derealization helped in this).
    • By Pwbo
      So After 12 years of that bad trip, all those traces, figures and distorsions have a name. I must say that the first couple of years were tough, but I belive I've managed to tame it, even Knowing that it stills swims somewhere  inside me. I've always knew that drugs had a diferent effect on me, that with my friends: when I smoke weed, I still feel the effects on the next day. My hangovers are like nightmares....
       After many years I've ended up taking small doses of lsd o shrooms and I felt afraid to wake up that terror again but it din't. 
      My question here is: recently I been atracted to try Yagé or ayahuasca as an spiritual and concius expantion and of course, curiosity. Anyone here carrying hppd who has any experience?
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.